


ARE THOSE FOR ME?

by BellaGracie



Category: The Hunger Games
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Annoying Officemate Cato, Best Friend Annie, F/M, Gale is a jerk, Homeless Peeta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 76
Words: 68,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22655386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellaGracie/pseuds/BellaGracie
Summary: One of my longest multi-chaps.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 188
Kudos: 153





	1. ARE THOSE FOR ME?

**Author's Note:**

> One of my longest multi-chaps.

"Are those for me?"

Katniss pauses. Please, can't he just leave her alone? It's her first month in San Francisco. Her mother and sister are worried that she doesn't know a soul. Well, except for Gale, her very much ex, who she moved here for. Only to discover, after her first weekend here, that he'd been cheating on her with some punk chick, some member of a grunge band, tats all over her muscled arms. Gale said he didn't know what came over him. He'd gone to hear the band and next thing you know he was making out with the drummer.

Yeah, thank you very much, Ex-Who-Everyone-Expected-Her-To-Marry-Since-She-Was-Five-Years-Old.

Katniss had signed a year's lease for her studio apartment. She would forfeit her security deposit of $3,000 if she broke the lease. No, she couldn't. She just had to grin and bear it.

And besides, San Francisco wasn't such a bad city. It's just that there were so many homeless on the street, all the time. They were so dirty. Katniss was afraid of them and made sure she kept a wide berth. She'd gotten yelled at a few times, for violating what some of them considered their "personal space." Please, Katniss thought, rolling her eyes. Sidewalk is personal space now?

There was one of them that apparently lived on her block. She hadn't given him more than a brief glance. He seemed well-built, under his piles of clothes. Why couldn't he just get a job? He didn't smell, thank goodness. But he was always, always there, when she left for her job every morning.

It had been a long day. Katniss decided to splurge on some flowers to brighten up her apartment. It was a Friday. She planned to spend her entire weekend binge-watching "Scandal." She was entitled to a little self-love.

* * *

The man speaks, and Katniss snorts. But today, instead of speeding up, she slows down. Glances at him. And almost freezes. The man has the most beautiful blue eyes she's ever seen. And -- he's not old. Why did she think he was old? His hair is blonde. It's a little long, but it looks relatively clean. Maybe there's a shelter nearby?

"Do you want them?" she asks. Why did she say that? She should be careful! Some of these people were crazy!

The man appears embarrassed, all of a sudden. He shakes his head, and stops walking.

God only knows what makes Katniss do what she does next. She reaches into the bunch, pulls out a blue iris, and stretches her arm out to the man. "Here," she says. "For you."

He shakes his head, both hands buried deep in his pockets. "Nah," he says, looking away. "I was just joking."

"But I'm not," Katniss says. "Take it." She swallows. "It matches your eyes."

The man looks straight at her. Oh! Katniss thinks he's quite handsome. Why did he end up here? Why is she even talking to him?

The other homeless who usually swarm around anyone who stops on the sidewalk seem to have disappeared. There's a little bubble of space around the two of them. What is going on?

"Who are those for?" the man asks.

"For me," Katniss says. "I bought them for me."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I'm practicing self-love. It's my new thing."

The man smiles. "What's your name?" he asks softly.

"Katniss. And yours?"

"Peeta. I'm Peeta."

"Pleased to meet you, Peeta," Katniss smiles.

"Likewise," Peeta says.

She turns and continues on her way. Suddenly, he shouts: "Why such sad eyes?"

Katniss freezes. She turns. "Excuse me?"

Peeta lifts his chin and locks his eyes on hers. "Your eyes. They're usually so sad. Not today, though." Suddenly, he bursts out laughing. Katniss thinks it's possibly the most beautiful laugh she's ever heard.

She shakes her head. "No," she smiles at Peeta. "Not today."

The entrance to her building is only a few steps away. Katniss usually hurries to turn the key in the lock -- it's an old building, right next to the Dragon's Gate on Grant Avenue. She worries about people sensing she's an out-of-towner and trying to take advantage. But today, she's shocked to realize that she is reluctant to go inside.

She feels a warmth blooming on her cheeks. She ducks her head, praying the blonde man doesn't notice.

As soon as Katniss gets to her second-floor apartment, she dumps her bag and runs, still with the flowers in her arms, to the window that overlooks the street. It’s a bay window, something that made her feel comfortable right away. It felt cozy. Safe, somehow. Even though the monthly rent was terrifying. She curses when, from this angle, she can’t see him. Or has he gone?

She races to the kitchen and dumps the flowers in the sink. Then she heads back to the window. This time she sits.

After five minutes of futile looking, she shrugs and gets up. What is wrong with her? Time to switch on the television.

Just then, she thinks she catches movement on the sidewalk. She drops her gaze. There he is! He’s still there. He’s standing facing her building, a bemused expression on his face.

From the safety of her apartment, Katniss allows herself to study his features. He really is handsome, she wasn’t imagining things. His nose is straight, his eyes are the bluest blue, and his jaw – she takes a deep breath. That jaw could cut glass. He looks like he’s studying the windows, floor by floor. Luckily, he’s started at the end opposite from where she is. Which means she has a few seconds before she has to duck, before he catches sight of her.

There’s a loud, buzzing sound from behind her.

Shit! Katniss thinks. She never gets any calls. But – it could be Prim! She dashes away from the window and frantically retrieves her phone from her bag.

“Catnip,” Gale says. "We need to talk."

Katniss feels like throwing the phone across the room.

“Just a minute, I have to turn off the water,” she practically shouts, then runs back to the window.

She’s not prepared, it’s quite a shock, to see Peeta staring straight up at her. He waves his hand and smiles shyly. He found her! How -- ?

Her instinctive response is to cringe. But then, something makes her stiffen her spine. She raises her right hand stiffly, and gives an awkward wave.

 _Katniss, have you lost your mind? For all you know, he could be a serial killer. And a picture of_ _your corpse could show up in The National Enquirer._

She’s dimly aware of Gale’s voice coming through the phone, but she has no idea what he’s saying.

“Took you long enough!” he says, finally, when she says a reluctant “Hi.”

“Umm, I have to turn off the stove,” she says.

“What?”

“Oh, God! I think I've started a fire. Bye,” Katniss says, and quickly disconnects the call. She closes her eyes for a moment. Then she scurries back to the window.


	2. SIGNS

Then it begins. The unlikeliest of friendships.

Katniss muses at the strangeness of it all: How she moved to San Francisco because of Gale. How, within a month of her getting there, she'd found the strange woman in Gale's apartment. How she'd screamed at Gale when he called. How she had collapsed in a heap on the floor, crying. How she'd screamed, over and over in her empty room: _Fucker! Fucker!_

How she'd called Prim and her mother and sobbed her heartbreak over the phone. How they'd both urged her to return to Seattle. How she'd refused out of stubborn pride (Besides, the $3000 security deposit!) How she regretted her decision, almost as soon as she announced it. How it had taken such a toll on her body, so that she imagined she could never smile again. How she entertained strange thoughts of showing up at the bar where the other woman had her gig. How she began to see a therapist. How the television became her best friend. How she thought maybe she did need to walk away. Or risk her life turning into one of those absurd soaps: General Hospital or The Young and the Restless. Until that fateful day when a homeless man had said something to her. A homeless man with brilliant blue eyes.

Now, Katniss considers the day wasted if she doesn't spend a few minutes talking to Peeta. She begins to wonder about how he'd begun his life on the streets. She wonders where he was from, originally (He wasn't from San Francisco, that much she could guess). Now she stays up nights, worrying if he is safe.

How angry it made her when that woman came up to him and propositioned him, offered him $500 if he would fuck her. (He was SO not a streetwalker. Peeta's response had been utter disgust. He'd pushed the woman away so hard she'd almost stumbled) How, after that, she'd considered asking Peeta about his life. But never had the courage to.

"Katniss, I'm worried about you," her mother says, each and every time Katniss calls. "Prim and I think you should come home."

"But the security deposit, Mom," Katniss says.

"Forget the security deposit! If you like, I'll even give you $3,000 so you can start over. Here. With me and Prim."

How Katniss had given it serious consideration. How, that day, as she headed to the office in the glummest of moods, Peeta had hailed her and then pressed a piece of paper into her hand. How, when she'd looked at what he'd given her, it turned out to be a sketch. A sketch of a dandelion. How she'd taken it as a sign, a sign that she was obeying some order from the universe. How she knew she would find salvation in San Francisco, if she only forgave herself, forgave Gale, forgave the people who were mean to Peeta, forgave Peeta's family (because she was angry at them for not reaching out to Peeta, for not taking care of him), how she'd even forgiven herself the thought of inviting Peeta to share her apartment (Nuts, right?), how she'd known he was some kind of angel, some sort of life-giving force, someone sent to protect her and watch over her in her weakest of moments, how she never wanted to be parted from him.

One day she asks him about the "sad eyes" comment, the one he made on the day they met.

He won't meet her eyes when he answers. "I noticed you way before then," he says. "I swear I'm not a creepy stalker or anything like that. You're kinda hard to miss, though. You're so beautiful."

Katniss can only look back at Peeta in shock.

_Peeta thinks I'm beautiful? No one has ever called me that before. Not even Gale._

She _will_ tell him about Gale, Katniss decides. Though not just yet.

She wonders what Prim or her mother might say if Katniss told them she'd found a friend, and that the friend happened to be a homeless man.


	3. GRASSHOPPER

"Earth to Katniss!" Cato says to her, in the middle of a meeting.

She wants to kill him. Or at least punch him between the eyes.

She doesn't know why he's being such a dick to her.

Seneca, their boss, stops speaking.

Katniss gulps. She'll never admit she was daydreaming. It was a sweltering September day, everyone kept praying for the famous San Francisco fog to roll in, but it never did. "This could last for weeks," one of her colleagues, a San Francisco native, tells her. "Then it'll -- all of a sudden -- get really cold." Katniss finds herself wondering how she's going to get Peeta through the winter. The thought of him sleeping on the sidewalk or on a park bench or even in a shelter simply wounds her, she doesn't know why.

Katniss straightens in her chair. "Do you want me to cite the statistics?" she says, mustering what she hopes passes for a cheery tone.

"No," Seneca says. "I just want you to pass the tray of snacks that's been in front of you for the last five minutes."

There's a ripple of laughter in the room.

"Everdeen, can you be any less obvious?" another colleague hoots.

* * * * *

Finally, Katniss can leave the office. The minute she steps on the sidewalk, her heart sinks. The heat seems to pulse off the concrete. Peeta, she thinks, and hurriedly heads home.

She's so intent that she doesn't notice how much she's sweating. Not until she gets to her block and begins the steep uphill slog. Even then, her eyes dart right and left, trying to spot Peeta's blonde hair. She's strangely disappointed when he doesn't materialize.

Another homeless guy -- Katniss thinks it's the one Peeta calls "Grasshopper" -- sits by the front entrance to her building, taking long pulls from a bottle of vodka. How'd he get it? Katniss wonders. The person who gave him the money probably felt sorry for him. And he scurried off right away, to the liquor store.

"Hey," Katniss says, trying to keep her greeting casual. "Seen Peeta around today?"

"Nope," the man says. " 'smatter of fact, haven't seen him at all since last night."

Katniss's gut twists. Last night? Why hadn't she noticed. She scowls, trying to recall her last conversation with Peeta.

"Now don't you worry your pretty little head about your boyfriend, miss," Grasshopper cackles.

Katniss doesn't know how to respond to that. "Excuse me," she says primly, trying to edge around him. It's kinda difficult, since he's parked himself only two feet in front of the building entrance. Where is the super when you need him? Katniss thinks.

Suddenly, the man stretches out his right hand and touches her skirt. Katniss yelps. That's when she hears Peeta. It looks like he's just rounded the corner of Grant and Pine. His face is livid. Katniss doesn't think she's ever seen him so tense.

"Take your damn paws off her!" he yells.

"Wasn't doing nuthin' ," Grasshopper mutters.

"I saw you!" Peeta says, coming to a full stop right in front of the other man. "I saw you -- you touched her!"

Grasshopper's suddenly lurching to his feet. "Now see here, pretty boy," he slurs.

Katniss grabs Peeta by the front of his shirt and tugs. "Peeta! No! It was nothing. Come inside."

Peeta's fists are still clenched. His face is red.

Katniss had no idea Peeta was this strong. She pulls his shirt as hard as she can but he's refusing to back down. In the heat of the moment Katniss thinks, in fact she knows, that she's ripped one of his shirt buttons off. She hears the tearing sound and thinks, _Oh no!_

"Whoa!" Grasshopper says, taking a step back. "Why didn't you just say this was your bitch now, man!"

"She's not my bitch, or anyone's bitch!" Peeta lunges.


	4. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss to Peeta: "Take your shirt off."
> 
> Best dialogue.

"Peeta, what in the heck were you thinking?" Katniss says. His eyes are still a little wild, and he's breathing heavily.

All the way up the stairs to her apartment, she worried about bumping into the super, a none too friendly man who'd given Katniss a hard time over her failure to adequately sort her trash: "There are three separate bins for a reason," he told her, catching her coming in from the side alley where the trash bins were located. "Landfill. Recyclables. Waste. Get it?"

She wanted to retort that she didn't much appreciate his tone, or the skunky smell that seemed to seep off his clothes.

Her nerves are tingling -- on fire, really -- after she pushes Peeta into her bathroom. She's very aware that it's a small space, hardly big enough for two people, and being this close to Peeta -- well, any man, really, she tries to reassure herself, any man who's this close, especially someone she really doesn't know very well --is disconcerting. In the close space, the smell of his sweat mixes in with something else, a not unpleasant smell that she can't quite identify. Bread? Soap?

She doesn't know why Peeta escalated things by lunging for Grasshopper. Grasshopper defended himself by landing a punch and connecting with Peeta's cheek. Katniss expected the blow to knock Peeta flat, but he was stronger than she thought because he stayed on his feet then landed a counterpunch to Grasshopper's gut that sent the other man sprawling on the sidewalk.

There were hoots and jeers from onlookers. Three young Asian women stood frozen a few yards away, clutching each other for comfort. Katniss recognized them as fellow tenants.

"Peeta! No! Stop!" Katniss kept yelling.

She tugged hard at his shirt but he only shrugged her off. The shirt tore. And now -- he's a mess. His hair is matted with sweat. There's a bruise forming under his right eye and Katniss prays it doesn't bloom into a full-on black eye. She'll have to get that shirt off somehow.

Now that they're in the bathroom together, she's nervous. Very nervous. Her hands tremble as she reaches under the sink for the bottle of alcohol she keeps there. She roots around farther back for a bag of cotton balls, and when she finds it and turns around, Peeta is staring at her, his iris-blue eyes stormy and dark, the blue practically extinguished.

"Well, you busted up your face pretty good," Katniss says. She lifts up three fingers and grips his jaw, turning it this way and that for examination. Most of the injury seems to have been directed at his jaw.

Peeta reaches up a hand to still hers as she dabs at the cuts. "I'm fine," he says.

She says, softly, "Take your shirt off."

He hesitates.

"It's ripped from shoulder to shoulder, Peeta. There's no way to save it." Peeta gingerly complies. The knuckles of his right hand are raw and swollen and he winces as he strips the shirt off.

Katniss throws the shirt into the sink. "I owe you a new one. Thank you for defending my honor and all."

"He wouldn't have hurt you, I know that," Peeta says. "Maybe I overreacted."

"Well, I'm grateful you were there to defend me," Katniss says. She gives a small smile. "Thank you. Seriously."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to meet you after work."

"Come on, Peeta. I don't need you meeting me every day after work." There's a moment of silence. Then, she asks, curiosity getting the better of her, "Where were you today?"

"I had a gig," he says, almost defensively.

A gig? Katniss frowns. That's a word she's only ever heard in connection with . . . "Are you some kind of musician?

"It was a modeling gig," he says.

A _modeling_ gig? "Oh," Katniss says. _Huh. Interesting._

"I wished I'd had a phone. So I could have told you. Did you wonder why I wasn't there?"

"You don't have to tell me anything, Peeta." She dabbed a few more times at the cut on his jaw. "I'm glad you got a gig, though."

Her head is roiling with thoughts. Why does that word "gig" set off alarms in her head? What kind of person uses the word "gig"? Is it a legit modeling gig, or is it something else? This being San Francisco, it could very well be something else --

"What kind of modeling gig?" she finds herself blurting out, almost without thinking. "I mean, you got paid?"

"Yeah. Pretty generous, too. A thousand."

"A thousand?" Katniss's jaw drops. What kind of gig is worth a thousand? Unless, unless -- No, Peeta would never do that. She still remembers how disgusted he was by the woman who propositioned him, several weeks ago.

"He wanted to write me a check, but when I told him I didn't have a bank account, he just reached into a drawer and handed me the cash."

"Okay." Katniss finds all of this very disturbing. "He wasn't gay, was he?" she says weakly. It's her lame attempt at a joke. Ha, ha. Very funny, Katniss. Peeta is GAY. She should have known. No hetero pays that much attention to her. She's not particularly pretty, any young woman in her building would be more deserving of that description. She's become a gay man's best friend. Well, if that doesn't downright suck --

"It was legit. I only had to take off my shirt. And pose with some drummer chick, someone with her own band."

No. It can't be, Katniss thinks, but still can't stop herself from asking. "That drummer chick. She wouldn't happen to be Johanna?"

Peeta stares. "You know Johanna? I thought you just moved here."

"I did just move here." Katniss takes a deep breath. "You remember when you told me I had sad eyes?"

"I remember," Peeta says softly. With his right hand, the one that isn't mangled, he strokes Katniss's cheek. "It's a guy, isn't it?"

Katniss can't speak.

"It's a guy, I knew it."

"His name is Gale," she bursts out. "He's the reason I moved here. But" -- she takes a deep breath. "I got here and he was with someone else. He didn't love me anymore."

"What does this have to do with Johanna?" Peeta asks. One look at Katniss's crestfallen face, however, is enough for him to put two and two together. "You mean, Gale got together with Johanna?" Katniss nods. Tears are threatening to spill over again, tears of self pity and, yes, anger.

"Hey," Peeta says, cupping Katniss's face in both hands. "Don't cry. It's good you found out sooner rather than later."

Katniss nods. She doesn't know why she's so emotional. But it's certainly a relief to tell someone. Or maybe it's just a relief to tell _Peeta_. _What does this mean?_

"It's all just sooo . . . humiliating. And infuriating! I saw coming here as a wonderful adventure. Gale talked about it so much, you know?"

"Well, now you have me," Peeta says gently. "I'll never let you down, Katniss. I'll always be around to protect you, no matter what. And, if it's any consolation, the thing with Johanna won't last. I'm sure of it. Gale will come back to you, you'll see."

"But I don't want him to come back! Katniss says. "I'm just mad that I put myself into this situation."

Peeta hugs her tight. After a few more moments, Katniss says, "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. But I'd like to do this in the living room, if you don't mind?"

"Sure," Peeta says.

Together they walk to the tiny living room. The only pieces of furniture in it so far are a sofa (still encased in plastic) and a TV. Katniss says, "Oof! Take that off. Sit."

The plastic comes off. Peeta sits. Katniss sits next to him. Then, turning to him with the most earnest expression she can muster, she says, "WHY are you on the street, Peeta? You're educated, I can tell. Hanging around with people like Grasshopper -- it's dangerous."

"Grasshopper's an exception. Street people aren't that bad. At least, most of them. If they trust you, they'll give you the shirt off their backs. We help each other out."

“Yeah? I bet they’re just the loveliest group of people,” Katniss says, rolling her eyes. She thinks better of it when she catches the look on Peeta’s face.

“No, they’re nuts, actually. Bite the nose off people’s faces. Bash their heads in while they’re sleeping,” Peeta says. "Thanks for all the concern, but I really have to go."

_No, I can’t let him leave now. I won't. I can do this._

"Are you still carrying around that cash with you?"

"Yeah."

"Then, no, I can't let you leave. You'll get mugged. Or something."

Peeta starts to respond but Katniss raises a hand. "No. Just hear me out. You can sleep on the couch. And -- and you can pay me a little. Whatever amount you like. It will help me. Rent is killing me right now." She raises her eyes to Peeta's, willing him to trust her.

"Katniss, I -- " he runs a hand through his hair. What is he thinking? That she's some kind of --

"No, Peeta, you're my friend. Friends watch over each other. Maybe you're in between jobs, I don't know, maybe you couldn't make rent, I don't really need to know. But as a friend, Peeta, I really can't stand to have you be out there when I have a perfectly good couch . . . "

Peeta doesn't answer. He's not looking at her, either, which worries her. She takes his hand.

_Katniss, what! What is going on with you! You don't know anything about this guy!_


	5. STUBBORN PEETA

In the end, Peeta leaves. He's pretty adamant. Katniss lends him a big T-shirt, her only Large. She has a few of Gale's shirts but she couldn't give him those. That would have been an awful idea.

The shirt she ends up giving him is an old brown T-shirt she won as a prize at an archery range, back in high school. They hadn't expected a girl to win it, so the shirt was a Large. Katniss watches as Peeta slips the shirt over his head. His curls have dried somewhat by the time he leaves, but the ugly bruise beneath his eye is going to be a real shiner tomorrow. She goes to the window and waits for him to reappear on the sidewalk. He takes longer than she expects. Did he stop somewhere, maybe take a few moments in the lobby? What was she thinking, taking his hand like that? What if he had some kind of . . .

No! She has to stop thinking like that.

After he leaves, Katniss throws Gale's old shirts into one of the trash bins in the alley outside. Almost as soon as the shirts are in the bin, she regrets her decision. Then, because she can't reach all the way to the bottom of the bin (It must have been trash pick-up day the day before; she awoke to an awful noise around 4 a.m., but somehow managed to fall back asleep), she drags over a low stool that she's noticed just outside the back entrance. Probably left there by some tenant to prop the back door open when taking out the trash.

She takes the stool, opens the bin, and fishes the shirts out. Then, while looking at them, she has an idea that seems to give her a flare of hope. She puts the shirts into a plastic bag and walks round the corner, to the Catholic church she passes every day on the way to and from work. She's seen the priest who stands outside occasionally, talking to the homeless. He's a slender older man, maybe in his 50s, with thinning hair and a gentle gaze. He wears a black suit and a priest's collar. His eyes occasionally flick over to her. All Katniss has managed to do is give him a cursory nod. She doesn't have any religion. It's been a while since she's even thought about God.

There's a bright blue nylon tent pitched on the sidewalk right outside, now. Katniss debates whether to enter the church, but pushes that idea aside. She decides she'll leave the bundle of shirts on the front step. If anyone looks inside, they'd take the shirts. Put them to good use. She feels satisfied with her decision.

Saturday and Sunday she barely leaves the apartment. Sunday evening, she runs out of milk and goes around the corner to a small grocery, buys milk and then decides to go for a can of Pringles (Dinner, she thinks glumly) and heads straight back. She doesn't see Peeta. In fact, it might only be her imagination, but the usual gaggle of homeless seems to have thinned considerably. Strangely, she doesn't think about Gale. She isn't mad at him anymore. All she feels is sad -- a generalized sadness. Not the sharp sting that caused her chest to ache so much, her first few weeks in San Francisco.

She talks to Prim, who asks if she's all right.

"Of course I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be?" Katniss scoffs. She's five years older than Prim. She has to be all right.

"How'd you spend your weekend?" Prim asks.

"Netflix," Katniss says.

"What'd you watch?" Prim asks.

"Silver Linings Playbook," Katniss says.

"Oh, I LOVE Bradley Cooper!" Prim enthuses.

"I can't see why," Katniss answers dryly. Though, every time there was a close-up of Bradley Cooper's face, Katniss kept thinking of Peeta and his blue, blue eyes. "What'd YOU do?"

"Nothing. Walked around the mall with some friends."

"Yeah? Exciting stuff. Buy anything?"

"Just some mascara. You know what a good girl I am."

"Yeah," Katniss says. Prim IS a good girl. She suddenly misses Prim terribly. "Hey, when's your next break?"

"Not soon enough," Prim says.

"Want to come down? I'll pay for your airfare."

"And mom's too?"

Oh, right. Katniss forgot. "Sure!"

"Okay. You really mean it?"

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it," Katniss says.

"Then I'll ask Mom tonight. She's being run ragged by her stupid boss at the hospital."

Their mother is a night nurse at Mother of Mercy Hospital. She hardly takes any time off. Katniss doubts her mother will really come. But, well, Prim can dream, can't she?

Katniss decides to go to bed early. But she stays up until almost midnight, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. Trying her best not to think of what Peeta might be doing out there in the street and failing miserably.

The next day, at work, Katniss leaves her phone off. In fact, she doesn't think to check messages until late that night. She's been avoiding the TV but she starts a book she found at a small bookstore in the Mission, ages ago. She bought it because the author had such a cool name: China Mieville. And it's science fiction, which she'd never thought about reading before.

Her phone pings and she checks to see who the message is from. It's from Gale.


	6. HERE WE GO AGAIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting two chapters at one go, because they are so short.
> 
> I'm so gratified that this story's been re-visited by people who remember it from years ago. Thank you! Thank you so much!

It's been a long, long day. Katniss worked well into the evening. She's been trying to bury herself in work, she needs to forget everything.

For once in her life, can't she be simple, can't she take pleasure in every day, does she always have to be such a scowling pessimist?

It's chilly this evening. A fog settles over the street. Even though she's wearing thick stockings under her pencil skirt, the wind seems to cut right into her. She feels it in her very bones.

 _Tired, tired, tired_ repeats in her head.

"Katniss!"

She pulls up. She's on the corner of Bush and Grant.

It's him! She hasn't seen him in several weeks. She feels such relief at the sight of him. She'd been imagining the worst. Her anxiety only seemed to increase with every passing day. She started having bad dreams.

"Where did you go?" she says.

"I was here."

"No, you weren't. I never saw you."

"I was here. I -- just -- I didn't know what to say to you."

Katniss takes him in. It's only then she realizes that he looks different. And he's holding a bunch of yellow and orange flowers.

She swallows. "Are those for me?" she asks.

Instead of responding, he steps closer. He seems to hesitate, but then gives a shake of his head. He lifts his face and looks directly into her eyes. "Yes," he says.

She doesn't realize she's opened her arms until she feels the flowers -- hardly any weight to them -- nestled close to her. The bottom of the newspaper they're wrapped in is a little damp.

"Oh!" Peeta says, crestfallen. "Water. Out the bottom. Your clothes -- " He makes a self-deprecating gesture.

"Don't worry! I don't care about my clothes!" Katniss says. She really doesn't. She's too busy taking in deep breaths of the fragrance. "Thank you, Peeta. They're beautiful. I'll put them in water right away." Now it's her turn to hesitate. Then, making up her mind, she asks, "Do you want to come inside?"

She doesn't miss the way Peeta glances around quickly before responding. "I think I'll just -- do you want to have coffee or something? Maybe dinner? My treat?" Katniss gives him a warm smile. She's smiling so hard she feels like her face just might break in half. "Sure," she says. "I'll just be a minute, okay?"

Peeta nods. She rushes to her building and she's in such a hurry that she fumbles with the entrance code and has to re-enter it twice.

She feels him come up right behind her, still at a respectful distance. "Something wrong?" he asks.

She shakes her head. _Katniss, you're so stupid._ "No," she turns her head to smile at him, then stops. She's caught a look on his face, a look so intense it immediately causes warmth to bloom on her cheeks. She's almost sure -- if she hadn't turned so suddenly she might not have caught it -- he was checking out her ass. _What? Katniss, you don't have an ass. Though maybe it's the pencil skirt . . ._

Finally, she gets the entrance door open. "I won't be a minute," Katniss says hurriedly.

She's halfway up the stairs when she feels her phone buzz in her bag. She ignores it and rushes to her apartment. It stops, but starts up again, insistent. Katniss dumps the flowers in the sink and pulls the phone out. _Gale again! What does he want?_

She shoves the phone back in her bag. She steps into the bathroom to do a quick check of her hair. Not too bad, she thinks. Just a few strands escaping from her braid, no biggie. She heads to the door and then changes her mind, comes back and swipes a clear gloss -- tastes like berries, nice! -- over her lips.

That damn phone doesn't stop buzzing for the next 30 minutes. If Peeta notices, he doesn't say anything. She reaches into her bag finally and shuts it off


	7. GALE

"Where are we going?" Katniss asks Peeta.

He points downhill.

"Union Square?" she asks.

"Yes," he says.

Okay. She doesn't much like the area, it's so busy with tourists. There's a hot dog stand she tried once. $9 for a hot dog? Granted, it was "All-Natural, Organic Beef." But she was so outraged she nearly asked for her money back.

At this very moment, though, she is so relieved just to see Peeta again, he could say anything -- even, let's go sit in the Stockton tunnel, the pedestrian tunnel she almost can't bear to walk through because of the smell, and the disconcerting sight of sleeping men hunched over in the corners.

She follows Peeta obediently. They walk close, almost touching. Now and then, she sneaks glances at him. His hair looks freshly cut, and he's shaved. Her heart twinges, remembering the fight with Grasshopper, the cuts on his face, the bruising below his eye . . .

It's a cold night. Katniss is relieved to see that Peeta seems to have a good jacket. And a muffler.

They walk up the low steps, right to the middle of the square. Katniss has never been here at night. It's a different place, almost deserted. Thankfully, however, it's brightly lit. Peeta suddenly seems much less certain. Katniss wonders what he was expecting. She sees a big red heart sculpture at one end. And there's a See's chocolate store, which is closed. But the café is open. They look at a menu board set up outside and she sees things like panini, clam chowder, pizza . . . the prices, Katniss thinks, are outrageous. A waiter spots them and starts walking towards them, a welcoming grin on his face.

"Miss!" the waiter calls, pulling out a chair. There's an outdoor heater, glowing orange, right next to the table the waiter indicates. "You and your boyfriend will enjoy sitting here. You will not be cold, I promise. Come!"

Katniss blushes. She avoids looking at Peeta. She can only imagine what his face looks like.

"Such a cute couple! Perfect! Please?" the waiter insists.

"Peeta," Katniss says, suddenly tugging at his arm. "Let's go back to the apartment."

He glances at her quizzically. "I wanted to treat you . . . "

"But, why? I have food back at my place. I hate to think of you spending so much. These are tourist prices."

"Miss! We have the perfect menu for tonight: hot spiced cider with lamb stew!" The waiter is truly annoying. Maybe because, Katniss observes, aside from her and Peeta, there's no one else around.

"Oh, sir," Katniss says to the waiter, not knowing where she finds the words. "My boyfriend and I were just thinking we'd skip the meal and go straight to dessert. Ha ha!"

"We have tiramisu! Home made! Best in San Francisco!" the waiter says.

Katniss tugs hard at Peeta's arm while giving the waiter what she hopes is a convincing smile. "Another time. Right now, I think I'm more in the mood for cuddling."

The man gives an indulgent laugh and finally gives up, waving them off. Katniss grasps Peeta's hand and pulls him after her.

"That place is outrageous!" she hisses.

Peeta chuckles sheepishly. "Yeah, they are a bit much, have to admit," he says. Though Katniss can hardly focus.

_I'm holding Peeta's hand! And he's letting me lead him!_

"But you remember," Peeta says, "I got paid for that gig."

"Yeah. You've got to make that money last."

The minute she says it, Katniss can feel Peeta tense. "No! What I really meant is, I'm freezing out here."

She keeps a firm hold of him.

"Let's hurry. I really AM freezing."

They pick up their pace, and soon they're at her building. Quickly, she punches in her code, still keeping a firm grip on Peeta. Still holding hands, they mount the stairs. He seems slightly less resistant now, at least. Could he be wondering what follows next? Heck, Katniss doesn't know what follows next. She's totally winging it.

She pushes in the key to her door and when the lock gives, she nudges it open with her right shoulder. It's ridiculous how she feels she can't let go of Peeta's hand, not even for one second.

"Catnip!" she hears, and freezes. "Why'd you turn off your phone?"

She stops dead. Gale is sitting on her couch. He's got the TV on, she notices. Of course, to a game.

Gale catches sight of Peeta and stares. His gaze wanders down, to their joined hands.

"Oh!" Peeta says. Firmly, now, he extricates his hand from Katniss's and extends it to Gale. "You must be Gale. I'm Peeta."

Gale gets up from the couch and stands in front of Peeta. There's about a six-inch difference in height between the two. His eyes graze over Peeta, taking in everything.

Katniss thinks, _This isn't happening. I can't even_ \--

"He gave you the flowers?" Gale says to her.

Dazed, Katniss says, "What flowers?"

"The ones in the sink," Gale says. "Funny, Catnip, I never knew you to be a flowers kind of girl."

"Katniss -- " Peeta says. Then, because she's still numb, or in shock, or something, he repeats her name, a little louder. "Katniss. I think I'd better go."

Katniss's hand flies out, almost like she's on auto-pilot, and catches Peeta by the collar of his jacket.

"Oh, don't be such a spoil sport, Peeta! You wanted to watch the game while I made dinner, remember?"

Gale's face is a study in annoyance, if not downright anger.

" _You_ offered to cook dinner -- for _him_?" he says, almost sneering.

"Of course I did!" Katniss says. "That's why he's here! Now, Peeta, sit yourself down right there! You and Gale can chat while I show off my culinary skills!"

She faces Peeta and begins helping him off with his jacket. Her back's to Gale, and she looks at Peeta with what she hopes is a SAVE ME! expression. Peeta looks down at her quizzically. Katniss wonders if he's as dazed as she is right now. He doesn't say anything, thank goodness. Instead, he slowly raises his right hand and moves it up to cover hers. She's already got most of his jacket off, but now he shrugs his shoulders back and the jacket slides off quite easily. Underneath,he's wearing a flannel shirt.

 _Where did he get these clothes?_ Katniss wonders absently. _Did he buy them just for me? For this_ _night? He looks good in flannel._

"Now!" Katniss says (She's sweating so much she probably gives off fumes). She takes Peeta's jacket, walks to the hall closet, and flings it inside (She doesn't bother looking for a hanger because she's 98 % sure she doesn't have any, not in the hall closet anyway) Then she turns back to the two men, who are still standing stiffly. The TV blares some inane commentary. She thinks she hears the announcer squawk TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN! but her head is so filled with the roar of her own thoughts that she can't properly decipher anything else.

"Peeta, don't be shy!" she says, pushing him back onto the couch. "Want a beer? I have some Sam Adams."

"Oh, that's gone," Gale says. "You only had one bottle."

"Great! How about you going to the corner grocery and buying us another six-pack, Gale?" Katniss says, batting her eyes in what she hopes is a convincingly seductive way.

Gale's mouth opens, closes, then opens again.

"I'll do it," Peeta says quickly. He gets up.

"But-- " Katniss blurts out. "Are you sure? I mean . . . what kind of host would I be, sending my dinner guests out on beer runs?"

A loud snort from Gale. Katniss refuses to look at him.

_Gale, I give absolutely zero fucks what you think about me right now._

"It's fine, Katniss, really," Peeta says.

Again, Katniss surprises herself. She walks quickly up to him and presses her body against his. She feels his sharp intake of breath. Her heart is pounding really, really loud now.

_Mmmm, love the way he feels. If only --_

Peeta places both hands on her hips and gently moves her aside. "I'll be right back," he whispers.

"You better," Katniss whispers back. "Or I'll put a Missing Persons bulletin out on you." Then she presses a quick kiss to his cheek.

Peeta leaves. He's gone so fast that Katniss doesn't have time to hand him back his jacket. Briefly, she thinks of calling out to him, but decides against it.

 _Calm down, Katniss. He'll have to come back for it. The grocery store's only a block away. He_ _can't freeze to death by walking a block._

Katniss clenches her fists, takes a deep breath, and turns. She feels powerful. She feels strong. She's ready to do battle with Gale.

Of course, he's ready. More than ready. Gale's always been such a brawler.

_Bring it on, Hawthorne!_

"Who. The. Fuck. Is. THAT?" Gale says, barely giving the door a chance to close behind Peeta. "And what kind of a name is PITA?"

"Gale," Katniss says. God, she's so mad at him she could cry. She makes herself take a deep, calming breath. "Can't you, for once in your life, think of someone besides yourself?"

"I knew it," Gale says. "You're fucking him." He looks around for his jacket. "Don't bother changing the code. I won't be back."

He walks out, brushing brusquely past her and slamming the door.

Katniss jumps. "Jesus!" She's still changing the code. She doesn't believe Gale. Not anymore.


	8. COME ON IN!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter. Shorter than usual.

Katniss buzzes Peeta up then leaves the door to her apartment ajar so he can walk right in without having to knock.

She turned the television off, as soon as Gale left.

She hears Peeta walk into the kitchen. Keeping her back to him she says, "Grab those bowls. One of them's yours." He sees that she's thrown together a salad of greens and cucumbers and fresh raspberries and shavings of cheese.

"Thanks," he says. "Umm. Did he leave?"

"Gone."

"What. Just -- gone? Just like that?"

"Yup."

Katniss finally turns. Peeta's staring at her, the two bowls of salad in his hands, looking a bit perplexed. His cheeks are flushed. From -- ? From the cold. Of course, from the cold.

"That's strange."

"No, it isn't. He does things like that when he's mad."

"Oh."

"Open one for me, would ya?" She says, nodding at the beer he's set on the counter. "I just need to toss this pasta and I'll be right out. Want to sit in front of the TV?"

"Sure," Peeta says. He grabs a beer and twists it open, still with a distracted air.

Katniss takes a deep breath. "So what are you thinking?" she asks.

"About who?"

"About me. Thinking what a loser I am. For putting up with -- THAT -- for so long."

"That's not even remotely close to what I was thinking."

Katniss turns and grabs the bottle he holds out to her. She takes a long pull of the beer. When she puts the bottle down, she mutters, "God. All the drama."

"Katniss," Peeta says. He takes her hand. His hand is cold. Her fingers twitch at first, an instinctive reaction. But in the next second, she grabs and holds on.


	9. AWKWARDNESS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter I posted tonight. The previous chapter was so short!

"This is delicious, Katniss," Peeta says, watching Katniss's face carefully.

"Thank you, Peeta," Katniss says.

They're seated across from each other, the plates of pasta and salad on the coffee table between them. The television's still off.

There hasn't been much talking. Suddenly, the emotions of the day -- seeing Peeta again after several weeks, the bouquet of flowers, Gale in her apartment, a fight -- are overwhelming. She just wants to crawl into bed. She can't believe it's only Monday. That means four more days of dragging herself to work . . .

"You're not a TV person," Peeta says.

"No, not really," Katniss says, and shrugs.

"Too bad," Peeta says. "It's a nice TV."

"Oh well. I decided to treat myself. Mostly so I could watch Netflix. And such."

"Yeah? What kind of movies do you like to watch?" Peeta asks.

"Umm. Well, Outlander right now . . . "

"What's it about?" Peeta asks.

"Oh," Katniss says, waving her right hand dismissively. "It's about time travel, you know. The actor's got . . . (She was about to say 'a nice ass' but stopped herself at the last moment) a nice accent. Ha!" The last bit just slipped out.

_Could you be any more lame, Katniss?_

"I don't know that actor," Peeta muses.

"Well, you wouldn't. Unless you had a TV. Ha ha," Katniss says. Then she stops, horrified at her own bitter rudeness.

_You see, Katniss? This is why the only man who could stand to be in a relationship with you was Gale. And see how well that turned out._

"Actually, I never watched TV. Even when I was in college."

"What?" Katniss raises her head. She glances at Peeta, to see if he's joking. But his face looks grave.

_Or maybe he's just a very good bullshitter. No, wait. It's Gale who's the bullshitter. Peeta is -- sweet. And kind. And has the most gorgeous eyes. And hey, why do I not feel bad about Gale anymore? What is happening to me?_

"I was always too busy. When I wasn't in class, or in the library, I was helping my dad out in the family bakery."

"Wait. Your family owned a bakery?"

"Yeah. It's been in our family for generations."

"And where is this bakery? East Coast, West Coast . . . "

"It's in Seattle, actually."

Katniss's mouth practically drops open.

"Are you a Mellark?"

Peeta looks at her, his brow furrowed. After a few moments, he nods, hesitantly.

"But you _can't_ be a Mellark," Katniss says. "The Mellarks -- isn't your family, like, _rich_?"

_Not only that, I used to go into the bakery, with Prim. Prim has a sweet tooth. And I loved the cheese buns. Oh God, the cheese buns . . ._

Katniss drops her fork and takes a long pull of her beer.

"Is something wrong?" Peeta asks.

"Well, actually, yeah. You're a Mellark. Why did you let me think you were a homeless man?"

"Because I _am_ a homeless man."

"No, you're not. You're a _Mellark_."

_Is this a joke? Am I being punked? Oh God, the humiliation! Can this evening get any more awful?_

Katniss turns her face away from Peeta, mostly to hide her shame.

"Wait, Katniss. Are you mad at me?" Peeta says softly.

"No."

"Then look me in the face and tell me. Tell me knowing my backstory doesn't change things."

_Go on! Tell him! It TOTALLY changes things! Like, now you know he probably has a closet FULL of flannel shirts and that he can probably afford an apartment on Nob Hill and you don't understand why he chooses to hang out on the street making like he is homeless and this is making you think he is TOTALLY and scarily NUTS in a way that Gale never was and, uh-oh girl, you're taking too long thinking over your answer! He's staring at you with those -- ugh -- those beautiful, blue eyes. No, he's not really staring at you, he's staring somewhere else . . . yes, definitely, that's your mouth his eyes are so focused on, and why can't you speak, why can't you --_

_Umff! Peeta's kissing you! He really is kissing you!_

Katniss just -- she can't even.

_This is what it's like to be kissed by a really handsome man. You lose all your faculties._

"Sorry!" Peeta gasps and pulls back.

_No! Not sorry! Please -- anything but that!_


	10. SHAKEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss goes over the events of that night (after the jump)

"Katniss, I have to go."

"Why?"

"Because I might lose my place at the shelter if -- "

"I don't understand, Peeta. Why do you have a bed in a shelter?"

"Because it's where I live. For now."

"Oh right. With druggies and -- dangerous people."

_Oops! You know how defensive he gets when you --_

"Ha. Ha. Ha," Peeta says, but his laugh seems forced. He withdraws his arm from around her shoulders and starts preparing to get up.

Katniss holds tight to his shirt.

"Katniss." Peeta's voice is low. He puts his hands over hers. "Nothing is going to happen."

"I started reading up on homeless shelters in San Francisco."

One of Peeta's eyebrows quirks up. _"Really?"_

"Really."

_Yes, because if you hadn't shown up when you did, I was about to do a very intensive search of homeless shelters in San Francisco._

"Why would you do that?"

_You're an idiot, Peeta. Because -- duh -- I was worried about you._

"I'm thinking of doing a documentary. With -- _ta ra!_ \-- you as the main subject."

"That's interesting."

"You don't believe me?"

"I didn't say that!"

"So tell me, what would a member of the Mellark family be doing in a San Francisco shelter?"

Peeta looks away. "Fell on hard times," he murmurs.

"You were here in San Francisco for a job."

"Yeah," Peeta says.

"And you somehow lost that job."

Peeta swallows. Then his jaw tenses. Katniss reaches up to his face and runs her fingers along it.

"Hey, hey," she whispers. "No shame. It's just me being all curious about you. Do you mind my being nosy? Maybe I was a journalist. In another life."

"I sort of like how direct you are. Means you like me, heh," Peeta says.

"Maybe. A little. So why were you let go?"

"For not doing what my boss wanted."

"Yeah? I hate your boss."

"You should," Peeta says, then gives a stiff laugh.

"And what was so terrible about what your boss wanted you to do?"

"Well, you know," Peeta chuckles. "Now that you put it that way, what she wanted me to do doesn't sound that terrible."

"Oh, it was a she," Katniss murmurs. "So spill."

"I was in charge of the signature cakes."

"The signature cakes? Must be a fancy set-up." "It was. Very fancy. They had things like flourless chocolate cake, housemade candy, salted caramel crunch, that kind of stuff. The thing is, I was in charge of doing those specialty cakes in my family's bakery, and when she contacted me she specifically said that she wanted me to design new cakes for her."

"Mmmm," Katniss says, licking her lips. "Keep going."

As Peeta talks, Katniss rests her head on his shoulder. His voice is so soothing. Her eyes droop. "The thing is, she had me spending more time constructing these fancy macaron pyramids than on the baking itself, and I was getting really frustrated. I had a few ideas I wanted to try out -- new glazes, different mousse fillings. She wasn't interested." The last thing she hears Peeta saying is something that sounds like "Strawberry Soaked Vanilla."

"Umm," Katniss says, licking her lips and burrowing her nose further into Peeta's shirt. He smells so good. "I'd like some of that. Can I be your tester?"

Peeta laughs.

* * * * *

When Katniss tries to piece together the events of that night, there are certain things that blur. How long did Peeta spend kissing her? When was the moment she realized his intention? Did he lean across the coffee table or did she?

She walked home from her office. She was tired. Peeta was on her mind, she hadn't seen him in weeks.

Suddenly, he was there, on the sidewalk. He was holding a bouquet of flowers. She asked: "Are those for me?" He said, "Yes."

He invited her to dinner. She went up to put the flowers in some water. She came back down and she and Peeta walked to Union Square. He didn't seem comfortable and neither was she. She persuaded him to come back with her to her apartment, she held on tight to his hand. She remembers thinking this was the only way: to hang on to him, so he would not slip away.

_Was she already in love with him?_

Gale was in her apartment. Seeing her with Peeta made him angry. Peeta came back. Katniss served green salad and pasta. She doesn't remember what dressing she provided, she doesn't even remember whether she'd made sauce for the pasta or whether she just threw it together with olive oil and a bunch of fresh basil.

Peeta told her his family had a bakery in Seattle. She determined his last name was Mellark from two small but also very crucial pieces of information: he told her his family owned a bakery that had been theirs for generations, and it was in Seattle.

She goes back to the cause of the fight with Gale. Gale said he'd just had her last beer, Peeta offered to go get some more. She remembers feeling almost panicked at the thought that he would not return. Gale accused her of sleeping with Peeta and stormed out. Gale's wild accusation made her realize that she had imagined it: she had imagined Peeta making love to her.

She was shaken. She made dinner for herself and Peeta. Peeta came back with the beer and was surprised not to see Gale in the apartment. She told Peeta that Gale had left. Peeta took her hand.

They had dinner. She was distracted. They talked about TV shows (of all things!)

The look on Peeta's face just before he kissed her: motes of light shining in his eyes, a flush to his cheeks. He kissed her. That's it. That's the only detail worth remembering. That and realizing that, when she opened her eyes the next morning, they were curled into each other on the couch, the fingers of his right hand tangled in her hair.


	11. DEFINE "THE MORNING AFTER"

Unfortunately, Katniss has work.

The alarm clock goes off and she jumps. Peeta jerks.

_Peeta? What the heck: is she dreaming?_

Katniss rubs her eyes. Then meets an intense, blue stare. She's awake! And Peeta's still here! On the couch! And -- ouch! Her neck has a super-crick in it.

"Oh my GOD," she says.

"Don't -- !" Peeta says, cringing.

"I don't mean Oh my God what are you still doing here, I mean -- just -- OH. MY. GOD."

"I fell asleep," Peeta says hastily, getting up. "I need to go."

"I have work," Katniss says blankly.

"I know. And -- I probably lost my bed at the shelter," Peeta says.

"You don't need it," Katniss says, airily waving her hand.

"I do need it," Peeta says. "But there's always the Stockton tunnel."

Katniss wrinkles her nose. "Why on earth -- it stinks of piss." She avoids going through it, at all costs.

"Beats sleeping on a park bench, though. Especially when it starts getting really cold . . . "

"Peeta, just wait right there. I need to shower and get dressed for work, but there are some things we really need to talk about -- "

"Katniss, no. I really couldn't impose on your hospitality. I'm just worried that -- there were some things I needed to take care of, and I think -- I think I better go."

_Why is he so insistent? Is there something wrong with her? Does he regret kissing her?_

Katniss doesn't remember showering and walking out the door, but here she is at her very own desk. She stares at the post-its she stuck on her computer yesterday. All of them are pale green except for one, which is neon pink. Katniss scowls. Coming closer, she tries to decipher the scrawled black letters: Co-enzyme, define.

_What the hell -- ?_

"Morning, Kitty Kat," a male voice says from somewhere behind her, and she doesn't have to turn her head to know it's the Office Neanderthal, Cato.

"Leave me alone," she mutters. "Unless you're aiming for an early death."

"Uh-oh," Cato says. "Is that a hickey I spy on your neck? Hey, everyone! The Venus Flytrap caught something good last night! And -- have you been eating pizza? Cause I definitely smell anchovies on you -- "

"Cato, you -- you WORM!" Katniss splutters. "No! You're worse than a worm. You're a -- cockroach!"

"What's all the excitement?" a smooth male voice slices in.

_Seneca! Oh no!_

"Looks like Our Little Miss Congeniality had some action last night," Cato purrs.

"That's enough! Cato, do you know the difference between a joker and an ass?" Cato drops his gaze and shrugs. Seneca turns to Katniss, whose face is flushed with embarrassment. "Don't mind him, he probably doesn't even know what 'Congeniality' means."

"I do know," Cato mutters. "It's what happens to my mom's gravy, all the time. She leaves it out too long, it gets congeniality."

Someone bursts out in a giggle. Before long, a ripple of giggles starts and spreads.

Katniss sits by herself at lunch, miserably picking out pieces of lettuce from her ham and cheese sandwich. Then she hears laughter from a group somewhere to her left. She looks up. Someone in the group says: "When you leave the gravy out too long, it _congenials_."

Katniss can't help breaking into a smile. She catches the eye of a red-haired girl. Katniss thinks the girl's name is Annie. A smile creeps to the girl's mouth, and Katniss surprises herself by returning it.

* * * * *

Katniss flies out of the office. She thinks Peeta probably left. But -- what if he didn't? She can hope, can't she?

The minute she pushes open the door to her apartment, she knows he's gone. There's a strange new emptiness about her place. She goes to the kitchen. The dirty dishes she left in the sink that morning -- she made him promise not to touch them, saying she had a certain "method" about washing and drying, she hopes she was convincing -- have been washed and dried and are lined up neatly in the drying rack next to the sink. Her stomach drops. She collapses on the sofa.

That's when she catches sight of the book on the coffee table. It's a small, yellow pocketbook, much worn. She glances curiously at the title: ANNIHILATION by Jeff Vandermeer, Book 1 of the Southern Beach Trilogy.

She thumbs the book open. On the title page, someone has written: FOR KATNISS

She looks at the unfamiliar handwriting. Is this from Peeta?

Curious, she goes to the book's first page and starts to read:

"The tower, which was not supposed to be there, plunges into the earth in a place just before the black pine forest begins to give way to swamp and then the reeds and wind-gnarled trees of the marsh flats."

She gasps. This is such good writing!

She reads another sentence:

"Beyond the marsh flats and the natural canals lies the ocean and, a little farther down the coast, a derelict lighthouse."

Katniss doesn't stop reading until hours later. And only then because her growling stomach reminds her that she hasn't had dinner. She gets up, prepares a cold salad, and goes back to the couch to continue reading. Finally, at midnight, she closes the book and gives in to the thoughts that have been plaguing her. "Oh, Peeta," she says softly, thinking of him sleeping outdoors and hoping that, wherever he is, he can at least look up at the sky and see stars.

She gets up seven hours later, dresses for work.

Outside her building, she approaches the first homeless person she sees: an old man (most of them are men) who holds out his hand and says, "Spare a dollar for coffee?"

Katniss digs into her purse for her wallet. She hands over the dollar and asks, "Do you know Peeta?"

The old man takes the dollar, seems to think for a moment, then says, "I don't know any Peter."

Katniss doesn't have the time to correct the man, but says, "He's young, blonde, blue-eyed -- "

The old man shakes his head. "I don't know that man. But, if you go around the corner, to the Catholic church, they have a few beds. Maybe someone there knows him."

Even before the man's quite finished speaking, Katniss takes off running.

She's always wondered at the number of homeless hanging out on her block. It all makes perfect sense now: the church! The priests probably dispense free food and other types of care.

_Peeta, please be there._

There are a few homeless people hanging around on the church steps, no one she recognizes.

They eye her curiously but she sidles past them and enters the church itself.

_Amazing -- it's so big!_

"Miss, can I help you?" asks a middle-aged man who materializes suddenly from Katniss's right. He's dressed in black priest's garb, with a white collar. "Are you here for today's Pastor's Chat?"

"No, I, umm -- " Katniss stutters.

_Damn! What a time for a cat to get her tongue!_

"Ah, actually. I'm looking for a man. Someone. I mean, I'm looking for someone."

The priest gazes at her, both eyebrows raised.

Katniss swallows. "His name is Peeta."

"Peeta?" the priest says, his voice tight with disbelief. "You don't mean -- that man?" He indicates the last row of pews on the right. Curled up on it is a sleeping figure, instantly familiar to Katniss, even with his hair completely concealed by a dark, knit beanie.

Katniss runs to him. Both Peeta's hands are tucked tightly under his armpits, as if he's cold. She tugs at them, noting he's not wearing gloves. She wants to kiss his hands, warm them with her breath. She wants to kiss _him_.

"Katniss?" Peeta says. He sounds both sleepy and startled. His hands reach out to her; she covers them with her own and almost forgets how to breathe.


	12. FATHER HAMISH: ALSO, IT'S CAKE DAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made a few small edits from the original. I keep seeing places where I should definitely have written more. But I'm out of time tonight.

She's still holding on to both his hands.

Peeta gives a low laugh. "Now that you have me," he says. "What do you intend to do with me?"

"Put you someplace you won't get hurt," Katniss says.

Uh-oh, Katniss, are you being just a little too earnest? Dial it down, woman!

For once Peeta seems to have nothing to say. Is she just imagining things, or is the blue in his eyes a little dimmed this morning? Awkwardly, she gets to her feet and pulls him up along with her. She's amazed she does it so easily. Perhaps he's not actively trying to resist?

That’s good.

"Peeta," says a voice behind her. "Who's your friend?"

The priest! Katniss completely forgot about the priest!

Before she can answer, Peeta says, "She's from my hometown. She just moved here."

"I see," the priest says.

Reluctantly, Katniss lets go of Peeta's hands. Peeta gestures to Katniss. "Katniss, meet Father Hamish. Father Hamish, meet Katniss."

"Katniss?" Father Hamish says. "Interesting name."

"My father was a biologist,” Katniss says. “He named me after a plant."

Peeta says quickly, "Was?"

Damn, does he always have to pick up on everything?

"He passed."

Peeta looks at her strangely. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was a long time ago.”

Peeta drops his eyes.

"Will you be coming back tonight, Peeta?” Father Hamish asks. “Or will you be going with your friend?"

"Katniss," she says quickly. "He won't be coming back tonight."

"Katniss, I -- " Peeta says.

"He's staying with me from now on," Katniss says.

"I see," Father Hamish says, a small smile quirking up his lips. "Well, that's fine. I am sure Peeta would be much more comfortable there. He's a fine young man, there were times we worried about him."

"Yes. If he wasn't so stubborn, he could have been staying with me a long time ago," Katniss says. She reaches for Peeta’s hand. He flushes, but doesn’t protest.

Father Hamish's smile widens. "Right! Well, off you go, you two. If you're interested, we're starting a program for homeless outreach. Volunteer training is six sessions. The first one's tonight, at 7."

* * * *

When they get to the street, Peeta says, "Thought you had work today."

"It's Wednesday," Katniss says.

"And that’s supposed to mean -- ?" Peeta asks.

"Wednesday is Bake-Someone-A-Cake Day."

"I'm still not following."

"It's for anyone who's within 50 feet of a baker. Today, you get to pick a baker and tell that baker what you want most to eat in the whole world, and the baker can't refuse. Because of the day. Which is today," Katniss says.

"And what should your baker make for you, Katniss?"

The way Peeta says her name makes her shiver. As does the intent look in his eyes.

"Well, I would love cheese buns. I didn't have much of a breakfast."

"It might be a little hard to procure ingredients on such short notice, though," Peeta says.

_You need flour, right? I've never baked anything in my whole life._

"Fine. I'll take a raincheck," Katniss says.

"In the meantime, there's this place I know in the Ferry Building -- " Peeta says.

"Walking distance?" Katniss asks.

 _I'd walk with you anywhere, Peeta. This is just for -- appearances. I'd hate to come off as a_ _desperate, lonely woman who's feeding off your -- situation. Did I just think that? I hope I didn't_ _say that aloud!_

She casts a guick glance at Peeta but he seems unperturbed.

_Maybe I didn't say it aloud._

She heaves a small sigh.

"It's a little bit of a walk. But the views are beautiful along the Embarcadero."

"Lead the way," Katniss says, grinning and linking her arm through his.

* * * *

"Oh my God," Katniss murmurs. "Are those really edible?"

She's standing, transfixed, before a colorful display just inside the main entrance to the Ferry Building. there ( _Neat place! I love that there are so many interesting stores. Is that a bookshop?_ ) There are shelves of tiny, palm-sized flowers, each a different color -- lavender, pink, red, blue, yellow -- each topped by a small dome of clear plastic.

"They're edible all right," a saleswoman pipes up. She smiles at Katniss. "They're jelly. Completely gluten-free, 0 calories, and they're each a different flavor. Lavender, blueberry, strawberry . . . "

"They're almost too beautiful to eat," Katniss murmurs.

"I'll get some for you," Peeta says.

"How much?" Katniss says, ignoring him and reaching for her wallet.

Peeta puts a hand on her arm, stilling her.

"Let me," he says.

"No, Peeta!" Katniss says. "You're -- " She bites off the word. Now it's her turn to flush.

"Two," Peeta says to the saleswoman.

"Which?" the saleswoman asks.

Katniss is still shaking her head but Peeta points to a green flower and to an orange flower. The saleswoman puts both in a clear plastic box, and Katniss reaches across the top of the counter to receive them reverently in her cupped hands. Then she cradles the plastic container tenderly the against her chest while smiling and shaking her head at Peeta.

"You shouldn't have," she says. "$3 each! And you know I'll never eat them."

"You won't?" Peeta says. "What will you do with them?"

"I'll put them in the freezer of course. And keep them forever."

Peeta laughs. A full-on, throwing-the-head-back kind of laugh. Katniss stares at him, transfixed.

* * * * *

Their light mood lasts almost all the way back to Katniss's apartment. Katniss knows exactly when it shifts: when they reach her building. She's getting ready to key in her code when Peeta says, quietly: "Katniss, why are you doing this?"

She turns, a little coil of anxiety in her belly, and looks at Peeta questioningly. She won't bother arguing, she decides. She'll just kinda shove him in through the lobby. Hopefully they won't encounter the super.

"Why are you being so kind to me? I don't deserve it. I don't deserve any of it."

"Peeta. It's not a matter of 'deserving.' It's a matter of what I want to do. And I want to help you."

"Yeah, I get that," Peeta says. "But why?"

 _Because I love the way you look at me? Like I'm the sun and the moon and the best thing since_ _sliced bread? Because you buy me flowers? Including edible ones?_

"Because I still need those cheese buns. All right?"

Peeta takes a hesitant step forward.

Katniss reaches out. "Take my hand, Peeta."

He looks down at Katniss's proferred hand. He nods. Slowly, he slips his own hand into hers. She gives it a squeeze.

"You can do this. We can do this. Together."


	13. AFTER

It's only when Katniss has Peeta in the apartment, when she's opened up the sofa bed and handed him clean sheets and a set of towels, that the enormity of what she's taken on hits her.

It's almost enough to set off a panic attack.

By taking Peeta into her apartment, by offering him shelter, she's accepting responsibility for _him_. For what happens to _him_. From now on.

As soon as the door is closed, Peeta turns to her, an extraordinary look of determination on his face, and says, "If you ever want to get back with Gale, I won't get in your way -- "

She cuts him off immediately. "No. Never," she says, as firmly as she can. And she knows it is the truth. There will be no getting back together with Gale. That period of her life is over.

But now, now in the middle of Wednesday afternoon, she debates what to do: drop by her office (only six blocks away), pick up some work, take it home here --

What if he leaves, again? What will she do? She pushes away the thought.

"I might as well show you where everything is," she says.

Peeta nods.

"Let's start with the kitchen," she says.

She opens one cabinet after another. "This is where I keep my -- " oh my God, why are her cabinets so empty? "my, my -- salt and pepper," she finishes. Good thing Peeta's standing behind her so she can sort of hide the blush that she feels creep up on her cheeks.

"And here is my -- (dented, aaargh!) frying pan. The stove's gas. All the burners work. See?" She turns the knobs of all four burners, one by one.

_Woman! Why does he make you so nervous all of a sudden? You sound like you have Tourette's._

"The super's always on us about water conservation, so, ah, I never use the dishwasher." (What's the point anyway, when you only have two dinner plates, ha ha ha!)

"And you can have anything in the fridge."

She flings open the refrigerator door with a flourish. "Help yourself to -- eggs (Four!). And a (half-stick of) butter. And some milk (past its expiration date, oh no!). And some Ragu pasta sauce. You can finish it if you get hungry. I need to do a few errands . . . " (like, groceries!)

Peeta is so silent. It makes her nervous. She turns and steals a glance at his face. He's looking at the floor, a slight frown on his face, seemingly deep in thought. Really, really deep in thought.

_He probably thinks I'm crazy. I'm pathetic. I'm the worst. He can tell I'm not a cook. In fact, he can tell I don't have any kind of domestic skills._

"Umm. So. You got any questions?"

"I think," Peeta says, slowly. "For the cheese buns. Umm." His right hand goes up slowly and scrubs the back of his neck.

_So that's your nervous tell. If only you could do it again. Because I find it completely adorable --_

"I'm sorry. What?" Katniss stammers.

Peeta smiles. "You got any all-purpose baking flour? What about cheese?"

_All-purpose baking flour? Did he say All-purpose baking flour? What is that?_

"Oh. Right! I'll just run out and get some."

"Katniss," Peeta says, still with that smile. He sounds extremely patient. Like he's talking to a kid. "It's okay. Let's concentrate on what we have here for now, and -- more important, what can I make you for dinner?"

_I'm speechless. My jaw is hanging open. Did he just say, 'What can I make you for dinner?'_

Peeta laughs and moves past Katniss to get to the fridge. Then he bends over and ---

Aaargh! Don't bend, don't bend! You did! My eyes! Where do I put them?

"This mayonnaise," Peeta says, pulling out a jar I never even knew was in there. "This is spoiled. Okay if I throw it out?"

"Uh. Sure?"

Peeta laughs again. "I personally think mayonnaise is the worst food ever invented."

Okay, mayonnaise is dead. Me and mayonnaise, we've just ended our relationship. I don't even remember buying it, to be honest.

"Oh, umm," Katniss says. "Someone must have left it there. Maybe the previous tenant?"

Lame. He's looking so intensely at me. Did I say something funny?

"Hey, Peeta? Is it okay if I leave you alone here for a bit? I have to check with the office, maybe pick up some work I can do tonight. I promise I'll pick up some flour. And cheese. And other stuff. On my way home."

Peeta stands and smiles easily at me.

Oh my GOD, I can't even.

"Sure! Go ahead. I'll be fine." When Katniss doesn't respond immediately, he adds, "I'm not going anywhere, don't worry. We can do this, right? Together."

* * * *

A few minutes later, Katniss exits her building. She can't help the huge smile on her face, she really can't.

San Francisco, I love you so much!

Her phone pings. For a second, she thinks it's Peeta, and glances down at the screen. Then she realizes of course it wouldn't be Peeta, he doesn't have a phone, and she'll have to remedy that situation, as soon as possible. Her mind goes blank when she sees the name on Caller ID: Gale.

Dread pooling in her stomach, she reads his message: Catnip, we really need to talk. I can meet you after work.

It's okay not to respond, right? I mean, he accused me of sleeping with Peeta! Which is totally ridiculous! I mean, why would he even think --

But that's pure Gale. Deflect guilt from himself and pile it on her.

She will never, ever take his calls. Not anymore.

Katniss cringes at the memory of their last conversation.

No, I won't answer. Let him stew.

* * * *

It's 6 p.m. Katniss is still in the office. Seneca was pissed at her no-show this morning, even though she explained she had a "medical emergency."

She's typing like mad, trying to finish a report, when her phone pings again. She doesn't check the message until 20 minutes later, when the report is done and she's about to shut her computer.

Gale: K, leaving my office now. Meet at your place?

Katniss checks the time of Gale's message: 6:08 p.m. Then she checks the time on her watch: 6:29 p.m.

Oh no! Has he gone to her apartment? She hopes Peeta hasn't buzzed him in!


	14. THE START OF GROWING TOGETHER, I GUESS?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot more streamlined than the original.
> 
> I changed the TV show they watch. It used to be "Scandal."

By the time Katniss gets to her apartment, she's out of breath. The uphill grade doesn't help, either. A sense of utter relief washes over her when she opens her door and sees Peeta. He's on the couch, his head thrown back on the couch, fast asleep. For a moment, she lets herself contemplate him. His lashes are so long. And -- she gives her head a shake.

Stop ogling him, creep!

He must have been so tired, after yesterday. After how he's been living, the last several months, she really can't blame him.

Katniss decides she'll order a pizza. She didn't have time to shop for groceries, one look at the text from Gale and she flew. Literally flew.

She really didn't expect Peeta to prepare dinner. She wondered why he even offered.

She dials her regular pizza place, three blocks away, on Powell. It's family-owned, and the customers are a mix of construction workers and bike messengers. It's nothing fancy, they feature just your regular toppings (Plus anchovy! But she won't risk Peeta not liking anchovy)

Then comes the hard part. Is Peeta vegan? If she had to guess, probably not. She orders the Uncle Vito's Special Combo: salami, pepperoni, bell pepper, mushrooms, and sausage.

_Whoa, rather heavy on the protein there, woman! But Peeta needs fattening up. He could use some protein. Here goes._

"Personal?" says the pizza guy.

"No, make it a large this time," Katniss says.

"Large it IS!"

_Do I sense snark? I'll thank you to keep your nose out of my business._

Uncle Vito's usually takes at least 20 minutes to deliver. More, during the evening. Katniss figures she has time for a quick shower. She really doesn't want Peeta to see her sweaty and panicky.

She opens the bathtub faucet and lets it run slowly, very slowly, so it won't wake him. She crouches into the drizzle of water as quietly as she can and begins lathering her hair, then quickly loses herself in a thicket of thoughts:

_I'm an emotional eater. When I'm stressed, I put on five lbs., at least. In fact, I'm almost sure no one back home in Seattle would recognize me, after the events of the last few months. I must have put on 10 lbs., all because of my devious ex and his shenanigans. Wonder what Gale wanted to talk about._

None of Gale's behavior is surprising. What's new is a feeling of anger bubbling up inside her.

_Can't he just leave me alone? So what if I was sleeping with Peeta (which I'm not, OBVIOUSLY), it's my body, I'll do what I want with it._

Suddenly: "Katniss!"

Peering through the pebbled glass of the shower door, she makes out a shape. She's so startled that she rises too quickly and bangs the back of her head into the faucet.

_Ooooowooooow!!!!_

"Are you all right?" Peeta says, his voice laced with concern. _What if he pulls the shower door open to check on me?_

 _Nooooo_!

"You're home!" Peeta says, palpable relief in his voice. "I started to worry." Pause. "Thought maybe you'd been kidnapped."

"I'll be right out!" she calls.

She quickly rinses off the last shampoo suds from her hair, grabs her towel, and steps out.

God! She forgot to bring a change of clothes with her into the bathroom. Now she'll have to walk out, clad only in a towel. But Peeta probably won't be looking. He'll probably have his back turned. Because he's gentlemanly like that.

* * * *

Katniss and Peeta eat their pizza standing up in the kitchen. After she sees how Peeta polishes off three slices in a matter of minutes, Katniss knows ordering a large was the right decision. Peeta asks her how her day went.

"It went fine," Katniss says. "It's not my dream job but hey, it pays the bills."

Peeta's face falls.

_Damn! I put my foot in my mouth. AGAIN! Perhaps this would be a good time to switch channels._

She asks, "How was _your_ day?"

"I fell asleep. Exciting stuff. Sorry, I wanted to cook for you and, umm. Any guests."

"Guests?"

"Yeah. I don't -- ok, forget I said that."

"He didn't come by, did he? I forgot to warn you. Don't let him in."

Peeta looks intently at her and nods. "I understand. I won't."

_He looks happy. Oh! My face is heating up! Uh-oh! Please, someone, help!_

"So what are your plans for -- ?"

_I must have mentioned that I had to sign a year's lease for the apartment. Is that what he's asking about?_

She shrugs. "I haven't really thought about after."

I'm here for ten more months, until my lease runs out. A lot can happen in 10 months.

Peeta says he really wants to stay in San Francisco. "I like it, it's a foodie town. There are a lot of opportunities for people who like to feed other people."

Maybe I'll stay too. Because I like being fed?

"You can make it, Peeta. Not 'can,' will. You will."

He looks at her and smiles. His smile is dazzling. He smiles with his whole face. Her eyes drift down of their own accord, to his soft lips, and -- she shifts and looks away.

There's a brief silence. They each chew on pizza.

"This is really good, Katniss. Thank you."

"Yeah? I wasn't sure what toppings you wanted. And you were asleep; I really didn't want to wake you."

"I'm big on protein, as you can tell," he gestures at the almost-empty pizza box.

"We can have pizza again tomorrow," she says. His face looks puzzled, and she thinks, Dial it back, girl.

"Want to watch TV?" she asks.

"Sure!" Peeta says.

"What do you want to watch?"

"Umm. Anything you want to watch."

"I'm pretty sure I can get Cake Boss."

"Nah. There must be something you like to watch."

"Umm. There's nothing, really. I just -- keep it on for the sound, mostly. Otherwise it's too quiet." UGH, why did she say that?

Peeta thinks. "I used to watch Battlestar Galactica ... "

"The original?" How did she even know about that show? Guess she's not as lame as she thought.

"No, the remake. You know they made Starbuck a girl. And she's really good."

"I think my package includes SyFy. Battlestar it is."

She moves to the living room, but stops short when she sees the couch opened up, the rumpled sheets. She has a sudden image of Peeta lying there, and ... she flushes. She spots the remote, resting on a side table, and starts browsing through the channel guide.

Peeta sits on the bed. Him on the bed, AARGH!

She doesn't look at him. "Bingo! It says there are six seasons."

"I've only seen the first."

"We can start at Season 2, then ... "

"No, let's start from the beginning. I might need to refresh my memory. It's been a while since I've watched."

I wonder what you were doing ...

"I'll fold back the bed," Peeta offers.

She nods. God, he must think I'm such a creeper.

It seems to take him just two quick heaves. His shirt rides up over his back, and she sees a sliver of skin.

She immediately looks away. Katniss, don't look! Aaaargh!

Peeta plops himself down on one end of the sofa and beckons her: "Come on! Sit!"

Katniss smiles. She arranges herself on the opposite end of the couch from Peeta. She makes sure there's at least two feet of space between them.

As soon as the episode begins, Katniss forgets everything. It truly is ... great. Peeta was right about Starbuck, too. That girl is great.

"I love it," she murmurs.

When Peeta doesn't respond, she tears her eyes from the screen. Oh! He's looking at her. He flushes and immediately turns his gaze to the TV.

They watch one more episode and then Katniss calls it a night. "Got to be up early tomorrow," she says. "Need my help setting up?" Ugh. Why does everything she says sound so suggestive?

I'm not really this weird, she wants to explain. But decides she should just say nothing and get out of there so he can have some privacy.

"Nah, I can handle it," Peeta says. "Good night."

"Well, you got everything you need, right?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Thank you."

"Katniss. You're doing that thing again."

"What thing?"

"Are you really that uncomfortable when I thank you? Because I'm going to be saying that a lot."

"Umm. You don't have to -- "

"Good night, Katniss."

"Good night, Peeta."

She turns and flees, her cheeks flaming.


	15. THE ROOMMATE

Katniss is curled up in her bed, trying to turn off her racing mind.

She's received another text from Gale, this one sent the night before, at 7:34 p.m.: **Hey, Catnip, something came up. But we really need to talk. I'll lay all my cards on the table. Jo and I -- we're just friends, ok? Maybe we got carried away, a little. But that was two months ago. It's still you. It always was. How could it not be?**

She turns off her phone and stares at the ceiling.

 _Huh_.

But it's not Gale she's thinking of. It's the man out there, in her living room. The one she invited to move in with her. The one who's kind, and funny, and respectful and -- let's just call it -- super-gorgeous.

Is he just another escape, too? Is she using Peeta for comfort, and is that fair when he clearly deserves so much more? Peeta deserves to have a woman fall in love with him. Someone who can make him realize how awesome he is. Someone who won't hesitate to tell him how much she enjoys his wit, his charm, his words, his hands, his goodness, his kindness, his  
\--

Stooooop!

She gives a dissatisfied snort.

And that is when she hears heavy footsteps going down the hall, towards the bathroom. She holds her breath, listening painfully. She tries to picture him -- is he still fully dressed, or has he decided to get comfortable now that she's safely in her room for the night? Does he sleep with his shirt on? Or off? Off, probably. But he keeps his pants on, because he's a gentleman like that.

She squeezes her eyes shut. It doesn't help.

She forces herself to think of something else: work, her grocery list -- her traitorous mind goes to Peeta in the bathroom.

She tosses off the comforter and stands.

Then she calls out, almost without thinking: "Peeta."

And she freezes.

It's suddenly -- silent? Where is he? Didn't he just go into the bathroom? Is he about to take a shower? What are these thoughts?

Oh, woman, this might have been a very, very bad idea. The worst.

After a fruitless hour or so of tossing and turning and being totally unable to sleep, she needs to munch on something. She thinks she remembers there being one last slice of pizza. Yes, she knows she is an emotional eater and if Peeta sticks around she will probably become as huge as Jabba the Hut, but -- she can't fight it by holing up in her bedroom. She has to do something.

He's probably in bed, probably even asleep. So it's all clear. Carefully, carefully, she cracks her door open. Stops. Listens. Nothing.

She ends up almost running to the kitchen. And slams into someone's body. She yelps. She's going to fall flat on her bum. She knows it.

But no, she doesn't fall flat on her bum. Because someone has a very firm hold on her. Whoever it is, he's strong. Because he's holding her by her waist. And oh, he smells so good. And -- she just freezes.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks, gripping her elbow to keep her from falling.

That voice! "Y--yes," Katniss stammers. "I think so. Umm. Sorry."

Goodness! Think, woman, are you even wearing pants? Don't -- whatever you do -- look down! Keep your eyes up there on his face!

"Katniss, can you just stop?" Peeta chuckles. He lets go of her elbow.

"Stop -- ?"

"Stop apologizing all the time. You don't act like this is your own apartment."

"I thought you were asleep?"

"Ah. I couldn't. New place, everything. It's a little --." Now it's his turn to blush. He takes a step back and looks away. There goes the hand to the back of the neck!

"It's a little -- overwhelming."

Katniss takes a deep breath. "Was the bed not comfortable? I'll be out of here in a few and you'll have the whole place to yourself. You can relax, watch TV."

Peeta smiles faintly. "Tell you what. When you get home, I'll have dinner ready."

"You don't have to do that!"

"Katniss. You work, I don't. I'll have dinner ready."

"We can discuss it when I get back . . . Actually, could you just wait till I get back? I haven't had a chance to tell the super."

"Will that be a problem? I don't want you to get into trouble because of me. You've been far too kind already."

The super knows Gale. He'll definitely have ideas about Peeta. She flushes.


	16. WHAT WILL THURSDAY BRING

Katniss persuades Peeta that she's really not that hungry, it's just a silly habit she has, she's happy he ate the last slice of pizza, he doesn't have to watch his weight like she does. Which gets them started on another tangent because Peeta declares she's "perfect," she shouldn't be worrying about watching her weight, and then Katniss assures him that she's gained 10 lbs. since arriving in San Francisco -- "mostly from the stress of, you know" -- and is she imagining things or does his face betray a brief flash of anger? He tells Katniss she must have been a toothpick before, because she's still slender, yes even now.

After 20 minutes of this back-and-forth, Katniss finally bids Peeta good night and returns to her bedroom, feeling a little happy from smiling so much. She falls asleep soon after that.

Then, it's morning. For a moment, she lies in bed, letting her mind wander over the events of the previous day. Maybe she just dreamed the whole thing: finding Peeta in the church around the corner, going with him to the Ferry Building, persuading him to stay . . .

Suddenly, she sits bolt upright, grabs a robe and barrels out her bedroom door.

She looks toward the living room: the sofa bed's neatly folded back in. She gasps.

 _Noooo_!

Just then, she hears a noise from the kitchen. She peers inside, heart pounding. There he is! He looks at her with such warmth. His hair is still mussed up from sleep, and it's sticking up in the back. He's fully clothed (Thank God, she doesn't think she can handle a shirtless Peeta.)

"Hey," she says, smiling.

"Hey," he says back.

"What are you doing?" Katniss asks.

"I started coffee," he says, gesturing towards the coffee maker. The one she's never touched. She usually dashes out in the morning. There's a Starbucks only two blocks from her office, she can usually grab a cup without more than a 10-minute wait, if she times it right. First she goes to her cubicle, starts up her computer, and goes over her To-Do List. If Seneca hasn't come in yet or there's not a scheduled meeting or she isn't meeting a deadline, she'll dash to the Starbucks for a  
Cappucino.

Funny, she doesn't recall seeing any coffee lying around. Peeta must notice the confusion on her face, because he says, "I was up early, so I ran out and got a few things."

She is speechless.

"Do you take milk in your coffee?" Peeta asks. He goes to the fridge and pulls out a carton of milk. When she still doesn't speak, he says, "Really, Katniss, it's no big deal. I got stuff for the cheese buns. They'll be ready and waiting for you when you get back from the office."

_Peeta! I can't even._

Peeta laughs. "Go get dressed, Katniss. Hope you have a good day at work."

"Thank you, Peeta. And I hope you have a nice day as well."

"Oh I will, don't worry. Me in a kitchen again? I'm just getting started."

Katniss takes the mug of coffee Peeta poured for her into the bedroom so she can sip while she's getting dressed. It's the mug with Han Solo's face on one side and the words NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS on the other.

_Good thing he didn't make a crack about how nerd-y I am. Gale always liked to tease me about my Han Solo fixation._

She takes a sip and can't help releasing a moan of pleasure.

_Soooo good!_

She had no idea how much she would love the taste of brewed coffee, first thing in the morning.

* * *

"You look different today," the redhead in her office says, bending over Katniss's desk. "Is it the hair?" Katniss scoffs without looking away from her screen. She's in a hurry to get home and have a taste of those CHEESE BUNS Peeta promised to make her. She can't seem to get the idea of them out of her head. In fact, she can probably taste them right now!

"Nope!" she says.

"Well, you look different," the redhead says. "More -- enthusiastic."

"I'm sorry. What?" Katniss says, finally shifting her eyes away from her screen and looking at the woman standing in her cubicle. That's when she recognizes her: she was the woman who smiled and waved at Katniss during lunch, earlier in the week. Up close, the woman is -- pretty. Pretty in a sort of airy way. Her eyes are an emerald green, and she has porcelain skin. She's wearing a loose, printed top, skinny black jeans, and grey flats. Katniss picks up a flash of gold on the woman's left hand -- so she's married.

When Katniss lets her gaze meet the other woman's eyes, she finds the woman is smiling. "My name's Annie," the woman says, extending a hand in greeting.

"Katniss," Katniss says, taking Annie's hand and giving it a polite shake.

"Me and a few others are going to Happy Hour at Café de la Presse. Care to join us? All the beer's 50% off."

_Oooh, tempting. But no._

"I'm sorry," Katniss says, feeling genuine regret. "I have other plans."

"That's okay," Annie says. "Maybe next time."

She gives Katniss a friendly little wave, twirls gracefully and quickly exits the cubicle.

_She looks sweet. But Peeta might worry if I'm not back right away._


	17. ROUTINES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is another short one.

Every morning for a week, the smell of fresh-baked cheese buns and coffee fills the apartment. Katniss is sure she's gained at least five lbs. But Peeta just can't seem to stop feeding her. She insists on their having a grocery kitty, not because she isn't happy to pay for whatever food they're consuming, but because it seems to make Peeta more relaxed.

Who knew she would end up sharing an apartment with a guy who loved to cook? The Universe must be smiling on her at last! The fridge now is filled with food, real food, like fresh mushrooms and bunches of kale, a selection of cheeses (Feta and fontina seem to be his favorites), various cold cuts and fresh orange juice.

After dinner, Peeta always insists on cleaning up.

"Go watch something," he urges her.

She watches a documentary about animals, Planet Earth or something. " She gets absorbed by the long shots of cheetahs running flat out across a savannah. Peeta chooses the next show they will watch together, and he chooses "The Walking Dead." She thinks it's a strange choice for a baker, but decides to go with it. Eventually, she gets it. She gets the whole idea of the apocalypse. The idea of struggling to survive. She even begins to relish the way the good guys like Glenn (her favorite) slice off heads with impunity.

The sofabed is always folded up when she comes home, and when she gets up in the morning. Peeta just seems to know that the implications of having it open, with rumpled, slept-on sheets, makes Katniss nervous. She appreciates that little instance of thoughtfulness, just one more in a whole spectrum of thoughtful deeds that Peeta seems to have, in unending supply.

She also never sees him without a shirt. He seems to have bought himself a couple of new clothes. She doesn't remember telling him about the laundromat two blocks down. But he might very well have found it on his own. There's no doubt that Peeta is a very resourceful person.

She tries her best to keep her own stuff from taking over. After the first night he spends in her apartment, she realizes how much of the bathroom counter space is taken up by her mess: her box of tampons, her hairdryer, her make-up, her hand lotion, her toothbrush, her dental floss, her combs.

She had gotten into the habit of hand-washing her underwear and hanging it from the showerhead to dry. She'd completely forgotten until, getting home the first day, she noticed them -- but not hanging from the showerhead, as she'd left them. They were on rubber suction hooks attached to the shower stall doors. Her cheeks flamed with heat. The bathroom itself was slightly steamy, evidence of recent use. So Peeta had showered and seen her stuff. He knew now that she liked practical things: no lace thongs, thank you very much. Just plain white cotton undies.

Once, she comes home soaked from the rain. When he catches sight of her, she shrugs apologetically. "I forgot my umbrella," she tells him.

He insists that she take a warm bath. When she emerges from the bathroom, rubbing her hair with a towel, he gently reaches for the towel, orders her to sit on the couch, and dries her hair, strand by strand. The feel of his strong, gentle fingers on her head makes her eyes droop. She falls asleep, right there on the couch. And she doesn't wake again until she feels his gentle hand on her cheek and his warm breath in her ear, telling her dinner's ready.

Sometimes, if she's very lucky, Peeta will be so absorbed in doing something in the kitchen that he won't hear her come in. Then she stands at the door to the kitchen and watches him for a few moments. Once she heard him humming a Cyndi Lauper song, terribly out of tune but she knew it was "Time After Time," one of her absolute all-time favorites. She didn't know guys liked Cyndi Lauper. She didn't know guys even knew who Cyndi Lauper was.

He always, always asks her how her day went.

About Gale -- well, he is still around, though she hasn't seen him. Maybe he tried and realized she'd gone ahead and changed her code? If there's one thing she understands about Gale, it's his pride.

And if he found out that Peeta was actually living here, with her, Krakatoa would have nothing on Gale Hawthorne.

It wouldn't matter how strongly Katniss swore that she was just helping out a man who needed a friend. No woman lets a man move in with her unless she has some ulterior motive. That's how Gale would think of the situation.

If the situation were reversed, if it were Gale offering a woman -- say, Johanna -- shelter in his apartment, would they be having sex? There is no doubt in Katniss's mind what the answer would be: Even if it were Katniss he loved, Gale wouldn't be able to keep his hands off a woman who shared his space: his living room, his kitchen, his bathroom. Especially if that woman were willing.

Bodies require completion. That is how Gale would think of it.

Sometimes, when she is lying in bed late at night, Katniss thinks she sees his point.


	18. HEAR THE CLOCK TICK AND THINK OF YOU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta likes singing in the shower.
> 
> Lyrics to Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" 
> 
> Sometimes you picture me -  
> I'm walking too far ahead  
> You're calling to me, I can't hear  
> What you've said -  
> Then you said, Go slow -  
> I fall behind  
> The second hand unwinds.  
> If you're lost, you can look and you will find me  
> Time after time.  
> If you fall, I will catch you - I'll be waiting.  
> Time after time.

He's just come out of the shower when Katniss catches him. His hair is wet, and there are still trickles of water on his chest. A towel's fastened around his waist, and he's humming. Humming to the song she heard him singing a few minutes ago. Who knew the words "You said, Go slow -- the second hand unwinds" would be the ones that do it for her? Who knew listening to someone singing the words in the shower would do it for her?

_He's a terrible singer._

Suddenly they're standing face to face. He's surprised to see her, and for some reason his right hand drops to the towel around his waist and she sees he's hanging on to his towel now and --

"So what comes next, Peeta?" she asks, her voice low.

"Next?" he says.

She steps up to him and winds her arms around his neck. "The song, you idiot. What comes next?"

"Oh," he says, looking sheepish. "You've been listening to me? Umm." He stops suddenly.

_He's clutching that towel like it's a life raft._

Katniss sings, "If you're lost you can look -- "

"and you will find me, time after time."

That's as far as he gets because she stands on tiptoe and kisses him. Peeta closes his eyes and stays absolutely still. Then, his hands slowly move to clasp her hips.

His lips are soft and pliant and wonderful.

Lips made for kissing.

 _All of him_ feels wonderful.

After a while, when she pulls back and rests her head on his chest, he chuckles, "I didn't know I was that good?"

"No. You're horrible."

"Sorry -- "

"Shut up, Peeta." She presses her lips against his once more.

* * *

The rest of Saturday, they stay in, but both keep busy with tasks. Peeta makes pancakes for breakfast and Katniss finds herself scarfing four down, a first.

Katniss insists on doing the washing up while Peeta draws up recipes for cakes he wants to try and make. Now that he has a kitchen to use, he's excited, like a little kid.

"I could start bringing some of the things you make to the office," Katniss says, excited about finding yet another way to help Peeta. "I'll say it's from my neighborhood bakery. Let's call you Peeta's Bakery. If enough people like it, word might get around and people might want to order stuff?"

Peeta blushes. "You really think people will like them?"

Katniss says, "Don't sell yourself short, Peeta." 

The hours fly by. Darkness settles in. They each get a little quiet, Katniss especially. She's lost in her own thoughts when Peeta suddenly sits next to her on the couch and reaches for her. She falls quickly into his embrace.

"Katniss," he says, stroking her hair. "I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. What about you?"

In response, she hugs him.

_Every girl should be so lucky._

"I'm happy, too." She feels his relief. She lifts her face to him and he lowers his lips to her.

He slides a hand down to link with hers.

"Do you want to watch something?" Katniss whispers.

"No, not really."

"Uh-oh. We're running out of things to do already?" Katniss says, smiling.

"I'm afraid so," Peeta whispers into her ear.

Katniss shivers. "We'll just have to think of something, then," she says. "Be creative."

"You want me to be creative?"

"You up for it?" Katniss says. "I'll do my best. Are you good at following instructions?"

Katniss laughs and taps Peeta's chest lightly with one hand.

"I'm afraid following instructions isn't one of my strengths."

"Really? So if I ordered you to spend the night with me -- you might refuse?"

"I might."

"That would be -- pretty terrible," Peeta says, bending his head towards her. "I could think of a few things to make it worth your while, though." Gently, he lifts her chin and covers her mouth with his own.

* * *

It's a little hard to stop kissing when the person you're kissing is Peeta. Katniss can't help being a little obsessed with his lips, the way his eyelids half-shut when he kisses her, the way he pulls her forward gently, with a hand at the back of her neck. Peeta apologizes for not getting dinner ready but Katniss says she isn't hungry. They do make a short run to Chinatown, where they have wonton soup from a tiny place Peeta insists on stopping at because of the row of ducks hanging from hooks in the front. Peeta asks Katniss if she's ever had roast duck before and when she says no, he grins and says he'll make her a dish that will rival her favorite, lamb stew.

They walk home in a light rain. They laugh and shiver when they get into the apartment. Katniss takes a towel, makes Peeta sit, and runs it lovingly over Peeta's hair. She doesn't get very far before he tackles her, pressing her back against the sofa. They kiss until their lips are slick and swollen. Eventually, Katniss convinces Peeta they should open up the sofabed and yes, they do have to sleep in separate beds.

She can't really explain why, when they're settled in their separate beds, and she's about to shut her bedside lamp, she decides to throw her comforter aside and run to him, her little T-shirt riding up and exposing quite a good bit of her ass as she goes to him and surprises him while he's reading a book, grabbing it and throwing it on the floor and going in again for another kiss, feeling the length of him immediately, and pressing herself into him deeper.

And then he has to say, "Katniss." "Hmmm?" she says, grinding down on him harder. "I don't --" he practically moans. "I don't have any -- condoms." 


	19. SUNDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens.

Peeta's skin smells of cinnamon and sweat.

They'd had to stop last night -- and part of Katniss thinks that was a good idea. The other part -- unf!

She didn't leave his bed, though. After she'd climbed off him, she'd snuggled against him, her back pressed to his chest. Was she imagining this conversation? The one where he'd asked her something like, "Katniss, what am I to you?"

She might have said, in response: "You are my favorite baker in the whole world." Because part of her doesn't feel ready.

And did he really laugh?

When it comes to Peeta, she really doesn't know what she's doing. Gale was her first and only boyfriend. He'd been a lot more experienced than her. He went after her a whole year before she finally agreed to sleep with him. And, now that she thinks about it, the experience had felt more like surrender.

There's a slow build-up of heat in her belly again. She's not surprised that Peeta is hard. But he's still asleep. Katniss closes her eyes and tries to ignore her pooling frustration. If only she hadn't impetuously thrown away the box of condoms she had by her bed, her first week in San Francisco. Foolish girl! She never thought she'd meet -- a baker.

She's on the point of drifting back to sleep when she feels Peeta stirring behind her. He buries his face in her hair and says, "How are you feeling?" She doesn't understand the note of uncertainty in his voice so she says, "Fine. I feel fine."

After a bit she adds: "I'm really kicking myself for not having -- "

"Wine?" Peeta says.

They both laugh.

"You read my mind," Peeta says. "I'm thinking a Cabernet. Great, bold aftertaste. Goes well with -- pizza. Mmmm." He rubs against her, he can't help it. Even though he knows there will be no release for him, not without protection.

_If you don't stop this, right now, Peeta, I'm going to have you, protected or no._

She twists to face him. His blue eyes are hooded, the pupils darkened to the point where they're hardly blue anymore. The bedding's been kicked to the floor. There are red marks across his chest. Did she do that? _Oh_.

"Hey," she says.

"Hey," he says back.

"You had me at pizza."

There's disappointment in his face but he tries to cover it. "How can a girl as tiny as you be so hungry all the time?" he teases, not letting go of her waist.

"Well, it's a good thing you're a baker, isn't it."

She taps his chest lightly. He falls back easily on the bed.

"I have to use the bathroom," she says, pushing away from him.

* * *

**R u with him?**

Gale's text comes in at 1:41 p.m. Katniss's first instinct is to lie. What business is it of Gale's anyway? Then her gaze lands on Peeta, happily preparing to bake the cheese buns that she'll bring to the office tomorrow. It'll be the official start of his new business.

Before she can even think what to text back, there's another message:

**R u there? Come downstairs.**

Katniss feels her brain go numb. She starts to text: Why?

Then she changes her mind and instead texts: **NO**.

There's no reply.

Katniss is tempted to shut her phone, but what if Prim tries to reach her?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Peeta says.

_Shoot. How does Peeta always know? And anyway he's already walked right up to me and his arm is around my shoulders._

Katniss mutely holds up her phone.

With his free hand, Peeta takes the phone from her and scrolls down the messages. He scowls.

"Forget it," he says. "Ignore him."

"He's outside, I think -- " Katniss says.

"What? Right now? Do you think he'll go away, eventually? Or did you want me to -- ?"

_Want you to what? Slap him silly? Yes, but no._

Peeta is a mind reader. She knows because he starts to shrug on a shirt.

"Where do you think you're going?" she blurts out.

"Nowhere. I'll be right back, don't worry."

"Wait." She grabs his arm. "You realize you've just contradicted yourself. Twice."

He stops and looks at her, puzzled.

"First you said to ignore him. And then I asked where you were going and I'm pretty sure I heard you say, Nowhere. Unless -- unless this is all a dream."

"I'm just going to talk to him."

"And why do you have to talk to him? He doesn't matter."

"But he's stalking you. This has to stop."

Firmly, she grasps Peeta's belt buckle and pushes him backwards. He's so startled he almost falls. But she keeps pushing and pushing until, really, there's nowhere else for him to go. His back is pressed against the kitchen counter. Right behind him, she can see the tray of cake batter, each spooned into little circular shapes.

Oh God, she's about to do something really, really unsanitary.

With her right hand, she undoes the top button of his pants.

 _This is hard. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't take this long. But I've never been an "undo-a-guy'spants"_ _kind of girl. Until now._

"Katniss, stop," Peeta finally says. "If you really, really want to do this, I -- "

But then she does something with her tongue, and he can't talk anymore.


	20. HOT!

"Let me go, Katniss. I won't be long."

Uh-uh. Think again, Peeta.

Katniss shakes her head. "No! Peeta, I am not letting you go. Anyway, like you're just going to run out of here, with that -- that -- " Katniss gestures at the very prominent bulge in Peeta's pants.

"Well -- "

"So, got anything to say now?" Katniss says sweetly, leaning against him.

She has him pinned against the kitchen counter, and right behind him, directly where his butt is pointing, a whole tray of cheese buns ready to be popped in the oven --

"What are you doing to me, Katniss," Peeta moans.

I'm gonna suck all your juices dry!

"I'm making sure you stay safe. And warm. Which means you have to be right here. Where I want you. Right. Here." She runs her hand up and down his bulge and then sticks her hand underneath his boxers and Holy Cow! She knew it had to be bigger than Gale's. And it was! Definitely bigger.

Peeta puts his hand over hers. "Stop," he whispers. "Please stop. If we start something now, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to -- " Peeta says.

"Hmmm," Katniss says, dragging his boxers down and staring at him. Oh! He's beautiful. There's a lot of blonde hair down there. She lets her tongue swirl around his tip. "You taste like cheese buns! So good! I don't think I can ever let you get another restaurant job, Peeta. Just the thought of other people smelling you-- "

He gasps and throws his head back.

_Ha! She has him now!_

Peeta moans but doesn't seem to be struggling that much.

Hmmm, I'm gonna wiggle against him just a teensy bit more.

He flings an arm over his eyes. His hips start to move.

_Definitely not going anywhere now._

Katniss hums happily to herself.  
  
Oops! Looks like Peeta had a little accident there.

"God! I'm sorry! It doesn't usually happen like that. I mean -- "

"Looks like it's been a while," Katniss says, looking down at her hand. She sniffs him on her.

Ummm. Lick? Yes. Good! Tastes better than sushi!

Peeta pulls up his boxers with a sheepish grin.

"Wow, that was just -- " he runs his hand over the back of his neck.

"I could do that again!" Katniss says, with an impish grin.

"Not fair!" Peeta protests. "You took me by surprise."

"Stop whining!"

* * *

  
They don’t have much energy for anything, after. They nap, Katniss's chest pressed against Peeta's belly.

Then Peeta tells her, Your phone's been ringing.

Katniss moans and reaches for it. Prim! She'll have to call her back. For the first time, Katniss feels regretful about returning her sister's call. But she gets up, winding a sticky sheet around her waist and walking to the bathroom. She leaves the door a little ajar, she doesn't want Peeta to think she minds his hearing the conversation.

Prim tells Katniss she misses her and Katniss says she misses Prim, too. But Prim unexpectedly says, “So Mom says we should go down and visit.”

Something twists in Katniss’s stomach. “Yeah? When?”

“Unless – “

“There is no ‘unless.’ I want you to come. You and Mom.”

“All right!” Prim whoops. “Mom said she could take the week of Thanksgiving off.”

“The whole week?”

“Yup! I couldn’t believe it.”

Katniss says that’s wonderful, but inside she doesn’t think it’s so wonderful. Thanksgiving’s only a month away. And how is she going to explain Peeta?

After she ends the call, Peeta tells her he can always move back to the Church. But she tells him no, the apartment is theirs, she refuses to hide their relationship.

"Let's just try and enjoy as much as we can before Thanksgiving gets here. Let's start with getting condoms." Peeta grins.

* * *

That night, Katniss insists Peeta sleep with her in her bedroom. She slips on a T-shirt, he slips on his boxers, she lifts the comforter and he crawls in with her. They lie with her back pressed against his chest.

Katniss’s skin is still alight. She’s not sure she’ll be able to get any sleep at all.

She has to, though. The last thing she needs is to fall asleep at her desk on Monday.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Katniss asks.

“Do what?” Peeta says, nuzzling her neck.

“That thing with your tongue.”

She can feel him smiling. “Where'd you learn to give blow jobs?”

“Don't try and distract me. Did – did you do that a lot? With your girlfriends?”

_Of course he did. He's entirely too giving. He'd do anything for his woman._

He shrugs. "They seemed to like it."

She jabs her elbow into his chest.

"Are you jealous?"

"A little bit."

Peeta laughs. "I like it when you're jealous. That wasn’t your first oral. Or was it?”

“It wasn’t, but that wasn't Gale’s thing. It bored him.”

Peeta reaches for her hand and squeezes it. "We won't talk about him anymore. You should sleep,” he says.

Katniss’s eyes drift closed. When she opens them again, she can see sunlight seeping through her blinds. She’s alone.

She has an ache of loneliness, but not for long. She recognizes a smell – fresh-brewed coffee. She rises quickly, determined to make the most of every moment until she has to leave Peeta and go to work. He's there, standing in her kitchen stark naked, a mug of coffee in his hands.


	21. AGAIN?

She walks in from the office and tosses her bag to one side.

The way Peeta looks at her. The warmth in his eyes.

Katniss takes his hand and leads him straight to her bedroom. It's been hours. She marks Peeta's neck, his chest, his shoulders, with her lips. Through an open window, she hears traffic, sirens. She says, "I'm not scared, Peeta. I'm not."

He hovers over her, his chest slick with sweat. Only moments earlier, he'd slid on the condom.

"I want to do this every day, if we can. I love you," Katniss says.

Those last three words are enough. Peeta surges into her.

The feeling -- oh! -- he's big, and she moans. Her hands claw his back, his shoulders. "I'm sorry," he mutters, but he doesn't stop. It truly feels as if she's being engulfed. Her hands leave his back and fist the sheets.

"It's so -- " she tries to say. No.

What she means is, with Peeta she feels he is possessing her utterly. It's a scary feeling, but she knows he'll always be there with her, when she's close to the edge.

She spreads her knees, tries to open herself up more for him.

He lowers his head and leans his forehead against hers. No. She wants him to show her his face. She wants to see it happen for him. She wants to know she did that. Her hands reach up and grab his hair. The strands are silky-soft. She practically has to yank his face up. But she needs to see him. Needs to know what his face looks like when he comes.

And when she does see his face, she knows. She knows that for him it's more than sex. It never was about sex, not for him. Not for her.

"You're beautiful," she says. Gasps, really. Because he _is_.

She feels him empty into the condom, and he pulls out. He rolls off the bed, and her hands reach out automatically. She keeps them open for him. When he's back in the bed, she folds him in her embrace. She waits a moment, then whispers into his ear, "Again?"

* * *

  
"Stay," Katniss murmurs. "So warm . . . "

He leans over and kisses her but in the next moment she feels him pull away. She reaches out a hand --

_Greedy. But who wouldn't be. With Peeta._

She grabs air.

"I'm just gonna heat up some food, okay? We need to eat."

"Oh, we do? I thought we just needed to fuck." She giggles.

Suddenly, he's on top of her again.

"You're. Terrible," he says, kissing her breathlessly.

"I'm your landlady, Peeta" Katniss murmurs. "You don't want to mess with me." She gives his hair a sharp tug. Peeta winces. Katniss laughs.

"No," Peeta moans. "I don't want to mess with you. Definitely. Not."

* * *

It's late. They've kicked the sheets off. Both of them lying, resting.

Peeta splays a large hand over Katniss's belly, then slowly traces her hip bones, the right first, then the left.

She turns her head to look at him. There's enough light to see the small smile on his lips.

"You are the tiniest big eater I know," Peeta muses. "Where does it all go, I wonder?"

His hand moves back and forth, back and forth over Katniss's belly, making her shiver.

"Will you let me feed you now?" he asks.

"No," Katniss says. She points at the open window. "That's some moon, don't you think?"

Peeta doesn't look where her finger points. Instead, he drops his head and presses a soft kiss to her navel. "Oh," Katniss says. Peeta's lips are moist and slide slowly, easily over her sweat-slick skin.

_Good. So good._

They stay together all night. When it's time for Katniss to get ready for work, she sees Peeta's still asleep and quietly presses a kiss to his hand, the one lying half-fisted on the sheets. She aches at her core and her limbs feel almost boneless. The week can't pass quickly enough for her.


	22. THE MOTH AND DAGGER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta gets a paying gig! 
> 
> Re-posting these chapters are really like a walk down memory lane. I wrote this when I lived in downtown San Francisco, and there really was a tattoo parlor called The Moth and Dagger around the corner.
> 
> What a different world. San Francisco is not the same city.

Annie's lurking around Katniss's desk.

"So? Take my advice?" she says, eyebrows raised suggestively.

Katniss says, "Hmmm?"

"Oh missy, you have a hickey on your neck."

"I do not!"

"Here. Right here," Annie says, gently tugging at the collar of Katniss's sweater.

Katniss jumps up. "I need to go to the restroom."

"Honey, was he good? Did you jump him the moment you walked in the door?"

Shut UP! Aaaargh!

"Annie," Katniss says, "Shhh! People can hear you . . . "

"I want every juicy detail."

"ANNIE!"

"Oh, come on. Don't act like such a Little Bo-Peep. Sex is good."

"Out," Katniss says.

"Hmmm. Okay, lunch. I can't wait to hear all about it."

Katniss says, "We'll see. I've got to finish these reports. Might have to work through lunch."

Annie slams her right hand down on Katniss's desk with surprising force.

"Girl, I'm your biggest cheering section. If you only knew. Last night, I asked Finn about him. Finn said Jo tried to climb him like a tree, and he turned her down flat. Sounds like someone thinks he's committed."

"Is that Jo's mojo? Coming on to strange men?" Katniss says, unable to keep the bitterness from her voice.

"Jo usually gets what she wants in the men department, so when Finn told me that about your guy, I was pretty impressed! WEEEEE! Go, Katniss!"

Katniss's cell buzzes. "I have to take this, Annie. Sorry."

Annie smirks. "Oh please, don't apologize. Especially if that's Yummy Buns."

Katniss hurries to the women's room. After checking to make sure she's alone, she answers. It's Peeta. He sounds excited.

"Cinna just called. I have to be at The Moth and Dagger tonight."

"I got your text!" Katniss says. "That's amazing, Peeta!"

"Yeah. It's actually for two separate shoots. It's good money. Can I take you out to dinner?"

"Peeta, no," Katniss says. "When you get paid, you shouldn't spend it on me."

There's a short pause. "I want to," Peeta says. "It'll be a date. Our first."

Katniss can't help smiling.

When she gets a chance, she quickly googles The Moth and Dagger. She is surprised to learn it is a tattoo parlor. Why the heck would Cinna be doing a shoot there? Scrolling quickly through their website, she finds that they do body piercings as well. She'll have to ask Peeta all about it.

It only hits her later, when she enters her empty apartment, that he won't be home till late. Even though they've only been sharing the apartment for a little over a week, she has to master her disappointment. It seems wrong to enter the door and not see Peeta, ready with a smile and a hug and the smell of bread and other goodness. He did tell her it was a night shoot -- something Cinna wanted, atmosphere or something like that. She makes a half-hearted attempt to pull together a salad, but it doesn't feel right, to be eating by herself. So instead, she curls up on the couch and waits for Peeta to come home.

It feels like she's just closed her eyes when she hears him say, "Katniss! I'm sorry it's so late. What are you doing on the couch?"

"I didn't want to sleep in the bed alone," she says.

At that, he bends down and kisses her softly, gently.

_Will I ever get tired of the taste of Peeta's mouth? Not likely._

Her hands wander up to Peeta's hair. She frowns and pulls her hands away.

"Euuuw! Sticky! What the hell?" she says, making a face and wrinkling her nose.

"Yeah, sorry. Cinna's stylist insisted on hair gel . . . I'll wash it off right now."

"So," Katniss says, getting up. "What were you -- some kind of _Sons of Anarchy_ biker dude?"

Peeta laughs. "Something like that. I tell you, modeling isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's hard work."

He goes to the bathroom and Katniss follows, watching as he strips off his shirt.

_Holy Cow! What is that painted on his back?_

"Peeta, wait!" Katniss says.


	23. LIKE A MOTH TO A FLAME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wings sprout on Peeta's back! Wish I had a picture. When Alliswell and I were batting around ideas in the early days of this, I think I saw a picture of Peeta's back, someone made it. GREEEAT visual. It might be in the little chap-lets Alliswell made for this universe.

Peeta whips around. "What?" he says, anxious.

"Oh! Your back . . . " Katniss whispers.

_It's so beautiful._

"Yeah, that took two people hours," Peeta sighs.

Katniss runs her fingers over it. "Wow, that's amazing. Stop moving so I can look properly."

Peeta stills and waits patiently while Katniss runs her fingers over his back. The drawing -- or painting -- or whatever you call it, is definitely a work of art. Peeta's entire back is covered in intricate lines and whorls that remind Katniss of pictures she's seen in history books depicting ancient Celtic burial grounds. Just beneath his shoulder blades, someone has painted -- in great detail -- an enormous pair of wings. Essentially, Peeta spent an entire night letting his back become a kind of canvas. Suddenly, it hits her: whoever decided to paint on those wings must have been inspired by something in Peeta himself.

_I know why Cinna chose you._

"Is that just -- a pretend tattoo?" Katniss asks. She can't seem to stop from tracing the markings. Beneath her fingers, she can feel Peeta taking deep, slow breaths.

"Yeah. It's just paint. It's hard to get off, though. I already tried at the tattoo parlor. They let me use the shower after, I saw a little of the color come off, but not much."

"I hope it's not -- toxic," Katniss says suddenly. "You know, I hope they used non-lead based paint?"

"Oh, they did," Peeta says. "They gave me a page to read that talked about how careful they are with all the materials they use. But, damn, it's going to take me a while to get the whole thing off. And Cinna wants to do another shoot day after tomorrow. After all this, I should just go ahead and get myself a tattoo. Fuck, I could probably get one done for free."

Katniss is a little taken aback by the curse word uttered so casually by Peeta. Hmm, maybe there's a whole side to Peeta she doesn't know. She has to admit, though: the idea of Peeta getting an actual tattoo is pretty sexy.

"Oh yeah? Where would you put it?" she asks.

"Right here," Peeta says, without hesitation. He touches low on his right hip, below the waistband of his jeans.

_He's thought about this._

"Umm. I like that -- location," Katniss says. "What would it be?"

Peeta looks suddenly shy again. He gives his head a rueful shake and chuckles. "Well, to be honest, I've always wanted a tattoo that says _Lucky you_."

Katniss just stares at him open-mouthed.

"I know," he says. "It's a little chees-y."

"Naughty boy," Katniss murmurs. "There's really no need for you to advertise the goods." She cups his chin with her right hand and turns his face towards her. She stands on tiptoe and is about to plant a kiss on his -- dirty, delectable -- mouth when she notices something else.

She gasps. "Are you wearing eyeliner?"

"Yeah. I was hoping you wouldn't notice," Peeta says, turning a light shade of red. "I'll just wash it off."

_He looks like a bad boy rock star! Soooo hot!_

A disagreeable thought occurs to Katniss. She takes a step back from Peeta and crosses her arms over her chest. "Were you -- umm, the only model? Or was this one of those band things again with Jo?"

"No," Peeta says. "Cinna had to do this shoot for another magazine. And there was no one there except me, Cinna, the stylist, and two tattoo artists." He sighs. "It was a very tight space, and they had bright lights aimed at me the whole time, and it got hot and -- ugh, Katniss, I'm pretty tired right now. Would you mind if I just crashed?"

"Come on," Katniss says, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him toward the bedroom. "I was going to ask you to leave the paint on anyway. I want to take a closer look tomorrow."

"Seriously?" Peeta says.

"Seriously," Katniss says. "And by the way? I think you totally rock the eyeliner. So awesomely San Francisco metro-sexual."

"That's -- good, I guess?" Peeta says, running his other hand -- the one Katniss isn't holding -- over the back of his neck.

Katniss pushes him onto the bed. "You are one gorgeous man, Peeta Mellark."

Before he can laugh or make a self-deprecating joke, Katniss leans over and kisses him. They kiss long and deep and then Peeta pulls back and groans. "Fuck, Katniss," he says. "Do you want to -- ?"

"No," she says at once.

_I'm lying._

"We both need to rest."

She helps him unbuckle his pants and get them off. Then, she kisses him one more time and curls up with her back against him. She feels him press into her just once, and she holds her breath. Moments later, she feels the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest and knows he's fallen asleep. That's when she -- oh so carefully -- turns around till she's facing him. Her fingers feather over his face: his brow, his nose, his mouth, his jaw. That's all she does for a long while.  
  



	24. AN EFFECT OF WINGS

Peeta wakes up when she does, but she makes him stay in bed.

“I can get my own coffee, Peeta,” she says.

He falls back easily on the sheets, grabbing a pillow and half-burying his head in it. She thinks she hears him say a muffled “Right.”

Katniss’s eyes wander to his back. She swallows, slowly pulls the sheet down to his hips. Peeta’s shoulders are hunched around the pillow; the painted wings seem to be lifting him.

_So beautiful._

“Hey,” Katniss says, nuzzling Peeta’s neck. “Don’t take this off, okay? I’ll help you do it later.”

He flips over and looks at her, a smile on his face. “Sure,” he says.

She sees, looking out the window, that it’s raining – a light drizzle. All the way to work she things of the wings the tattoo artist had painted beneath Peeta’s shoulder blades.

_Angel wings._

* * *

"Hey, Kat!” Katniss jumps. A woman with an enormous beehive and a neon pink sheath dress stands at the entrance to her cubicle.

“Annie?” Katniss whispers, peering more closely.

“Ta-ra!” She twirls for Katniss. “You like? Why aren’t YOU wearing a costume?”

“Oh, I – uh. Forgot.”

“Forgot? Forgot? It’s only the most hellafun holiday in the entire year. Not counting Valentine’s. Which isn’t until months from now. Practically next year. Oh, wait. It is next year. Sorry, I’m getting mixed up. Still doesn't get you out of wearing a costume."

Katniss snorts. "I've never dressed up for Halloween. I don't intend to start doing it now."

"Girl! I have just the right outfit in mind for you!"

"Oh, yeah? Do tell."

"Short, super-short mini. Red of course. Black tights. Torn in a few places. Stilettos. And little devil ears. A headband, sort of."

Just listening to Annie describing it has Katniss blushing.

"You have quite an imagination," she says. "I like it!" comes a booming voice from the other side of the cubicle. Katniss's stomach sinks. Cato's head pops up over the cubicle wall. "Hot! You gonna wear that outfit?"

* * *

Katniss runs the sudsy water over Peeta's muscular back. His hair is wet, he's bent forward, and she's behind him, her thighs gripping his hips firmly.

"Is that good?" she asks.

He doesn't speak, only lowers both hands a little behind him and squeezes her thighs.

The paint runs off, the images fade, fade, fade.

_Too bad. I'll miss those wings._

"Hey," Peeta says. "You're so quiet all of a sudden."

"Well," Katniss says. "I just started thinking of something -- "

"Yeah?" "Like -- whose idea was it. The wings." "Oh. Cinna's. He had it all worked out in preliminary sketches. Then he and the tattoo artists talked about it. He showed them pictures from some of his previous gigs. One of the artists, Clove, she picked me."

"Clove," Katniss repeats the name, musing.

"Yeah, she's really cool," Peeta says.

"I can imagine," Katniss says drily. "Who was the other artist?"

"Thresh. He owns the shop."

"Huh," is all Katniss says. She's quiet for a few more moments. "Did Cinna tell you what magazine the shoot was for?"

"Yeah. It's for some biker magazine, _Born to Ride_."

"What? Is that a real mag?"

"Yes it is. Seems copies have been flying off the rack since the _Sons of Anarchy_ premiere. And the magazine requested a shoot with Moth and Dagger because, well, the shop does nearly all their tattoos."

"Wow," Katniss says. "That's incredible."

"Yeah. Biker chic. It's a _thing_ now." Peeta chuckles.

Katniss doesn't say anything, just keeps running the sponge over Peeta's back. Most of the paint's gone. She's -- sorrowful?

"Do you know what they're planning for tomorrow?"

Peeta shakes his head. "Cinna says he only knows for sure sometimes not till just before a shoot."

"Hmm. Interesting," Katniss says. She runs her hands over Peeta's shoulder blades, and her mouth traces the fading outlines of wings.

When Katniss starts moving her mouth across his back, Peeta seems to freeze. Then, turning slightly, he says, his voice low, "Katniss, what are you doing?"

"I don't know," Katniss says. "Do you know?"

"I don't know, but -- "

"Do you mind?"

She feels Peeta take a shuddering breath. "No," he whispers. He turns forward again. He's silent a few moments then says, "I should pay Cinna, I think."

Katniss smiles. "No, _I'm_ the one who should."

Peeta steals a glance over his shoulder. "Really?"

Katniss smiles. "Really."

She taps his cheek lightly and he faces forward again. Katniss says, "Such a shame, to lose the painting. It was beautiful."

Peeta takes a deep breath. "Yeah. I would have gotten ink last night, only -- "

"Only what?"

"I lied about _**Lucky You**_. I was thinking more along the lines of our initials . . . "

Katniss stills.

_Our initials? What?_

"Sorry," Peeta rushes to say. "I wasn't sure if you'd allow it. Too much?"

"Just our initials? K and P?"

Peeta nods.

"Oh," Katniss says. "That seems kinda -- "

_Like . . . bungee jumping? Or skydiving? Or . . . or falling off the face of a cliff?_

"It's okay, really. I know, we're not, you know -- "

"We're not -- what?"

"Dating, you know. This is -- terrible. I'm going to stop talking."

"You really wanted to do that? Have our initials? Seems kinda -- permanent."

"Katniss. There won't _be_ anyone else for me. Not after you. Not after _us_."

Katniss is stunned.

_Girl, if you don't say something in the next second . . . Wait, when did he turn around?_

Peeta looks at her, the blue of his eyes more intense in the dimmer light of the bathroom.

"Umm . . . " she says.

_How did he turn around without me even noticing? Am I in some kind of alternate universe? Are we really going to -- here? Right now?_

"Peeta," she says, putting one hand on his chest. "You know love's like a poison, right?"

_Oh no oh no oh no, I didn't mean. Why is he looking at me that way?_

"I mean, in a good way. The way poison gets into a fish, and -- it's all over. Infected."

_Can I ask for a time out?_

"Are you saying -- I'm the poison?"

"No, no, I don't mean that."

_Time out! Time out!_

The fingers of her right hand run across his mouth. He's smiling, but not really.

_No. It's more like he's trying to smile, but not managing. He's worried._

He's between her legs. With her thighs, she gives his hips an encouraging squeeze. She leans back a little, trying not to slide all the way into the water.

"Love is the good poison. I mean -- it gets you. All over," she finishes weakly.

_Honestly, do we even have to talk right now? Because I mean, I feel like, I'm so much better without words. Like doing this. And this. And this. When I touch you, here._

Suddenly, Peeta's lips are working on her neck.

_I really can't think right now. But I want you to know, Peeta --_

"What? Tell me," he says, urgent.

Oh no. I said it aloud. I didn't mean -- "I'm -- a good poison?"

"Yes," Katniss gasps. "Really good."

"I heard you say it once," he says. He stills and sits back again. "Say it again, please."

No! "I heard you say it once. That you loved me."

_Words spoil things. Gale said he loved me, all the time. Words can be twisted. I don't trust words._

"What if," Katniss says. "What if, Peeta, this were all just a game?"

"A game?" Peeta says, his eyes stormy. "I don't know anything about that. Girls are always better at those -- kinds of things."

"Oh, we are?"

"Yes." Peeta looks suddenly disgruntled, almost angry. He pushes away and sits up.

_No, I won't let you._

Katniss sits up with him. He's not looking at her now. She reaches for his face and grasps it with both hands, lifts it so she can look into his eyes.

_His eyes are a new color of blue. How does he do that?_

"Peeta. Don't. Don't act like that. Like I'm pushing you away because that's not what I'm doing."

_Breathe, Katniss. Breathe._

"I think it's incredibly sweet that you want to put our initials on you. And yes, Peeta. Yes, go ahead and do it."

_You trust me so much. You just put your words and feelings out there. How do you do that? And sometimes, I don't know how to react._

"You've got to believe me when I say this. I'm not very good with words, so I won't say it very often," Katniss says. "I love you. I do love -- unfff!"

_Well!_


	25. THE MOTH AND DAGGER (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Peeta point of view chapter!

Peeta's cell rings while he's just pulling a batch of cheese buns from the oven.

"Hey," Peeta says.

"Peeta, this is Cinna," the caller says.

"Yeah. What's up? Still want me to come in at 7?"

"Can you come a little earlier? At 6? I know it's very short notice. Clove has to do something really early tomorrow and she asked if we could put this shoot to bed a little earlier."

"Of course!" Peeta says. He glances at his watch. It's 5:30 p.m. He was hoping he could catch Katniss before he left for the shoot, but hey, Cinna's paid him a lot. A lot more than Peeta's ever gotten paid before. And he mostly just has to stay still and let people doodle and fuss over his back. He can't complain.

Besides, home earlier sounds good. Last time, they wrapped at 1 a.m. Katniss had been curled up on the couch. He didn't want that to happen again.

Peeta leaves the tray of buns on the kitchen counter, takes a quick shower, then leaves Katniss a post-it note next to the tray. He's texted her, too, but the post-it note is something he can't resist. He doodles a dandelion on one corner.

Then he rushes out. His T-shirt isn't pulled all the way down, his hair's not fully dry, and he might even have forgotten to double-knot his sneakers. But he makes it to The Moth & Dagger right at 6. He's determined to be professional, to let Cinna know he knows this is work, even though his part in this shoot is probably the least important one.

He can't help being struck by the irony of the whole situation: He came to San Francisco to be a baker. He wanted to have the creative freedom to design his own cakes. He knew so much about the city already, just from keeping up with the food news. He knew who the pastry chefs were at SPQR and at Massimo's, at Fiorella and In Situ, and he'd wanted a shot. The reality had been far different. In six months, he was out on the street, too proud to beg his family for financial assistance.

When he left for San Francisco, his brothers had cried Foul, saying Peeta had put business over family. His mother had said worse, never having been one to stint with words. His father, who might have stood up for him, was dead, felled by a virulent cancer that took his life only monthsafter his diagnosis.

Things had gone from bad to worse. He bounced around a few friends' couches, then made the hard decision of going to a shelter. From there, he expected it to be just a matter of time before he landed another job, but found out soon enough that good restaurant jobs -- not busboy types of jobs, but real chef jobs -- were rare. Practically, non-existent. Restaurants lured chefs from other restaurants. Chefs had track records, which Peeta didn't have. He didn't want to drop the name of the family bakery, but when he met Katniss he was on the point of doing just that: name-dropping the Mellark name, touting his experience back in Seattle, even maybe massaging his resumé a bit. But after he met her -- with the chees-iest line: "Are those flowers for me?" -- his focus drifted.

Peeta's also spent time thinking of the ink he wants (on his bicep, he's decided) of his and Katniss's initials. He's wondering if it can be something more elaborate than initials, though. Maybe her face? But how much would that cost? And he'd have to ask her first if that was okay.

It's not a problem showing them photos because he's taken a lot of Katniss on his cell. Not all of them while she was aware. Maybe half of them, he's taken surreptitiously. Not while she's undressed, in bed, or anything intimate.

But she _is_ beautiful. And he loves looking at her. She hates having her picture taken.

Peeta's going to have to ask her why, at some point. In his experience, beautiful girls love having their pictures taken. And why not? They're proud of their looks. Perhaps that's what drew him so forcefully to Katniss -- the fact that she was beautiful but didn't seem to care or didn't _want_ to care.

When he gets to The Moth & Dagger, he doesn't wait to pull off his shirt, assuming they'll be doing more of what they did on his back the first time. It's a little confusing when Cinna tells him he won't be lying on the table. In fact, his gut twists a little, wondering. Not that Cinna would ever ask Peeta to do something gross. He just hasn't struck Peeta as being that kind of person.

Everything's very professional: the same tattoo artists as the first night, Thresh and Clove. Clove gives him a little apologetic smile. The same stylist, a red-head whose name, if Peeta remembers correctly, is something that sounds like Fox Face.

Peeta learns that Thresh is an avid motorcyclist. He's personally restored several Triumph motorbikes, including a 1964 Triumph Bonneville, his latest acquisition. He told Peeta about it while he and Clove were preparing Peeta's back.

Peeta understands, now, why bikers come from all over California -- and even beyond -- to The Moth & Dagger for their tattoos. It's not just the artwork. It's because Thresh is one of them. He's family.

Cinna pulls a chair forward. "We'll have you sit on this chair, Peeta. No, no, sit with your back outward. You'll have to straddle it. Just like that. Perfect. What do you think, Thresh? Clove? Is that all right?"

He tells Peeta, "For this shoot, we won't be showing your face at all. Just your back."

"Oh," Peeta says, giving Cinna an easy smile. "Cool. So, no eyeliner this time?"

Cinna laughs. "No, no eyeliner this time. Sorry to disappoint."

Peeta asks, "Can I see what you have in mind? I mean, the drawing?"

"Sure!" Cinna says. He shows Peeta his sketch. It's more of a painting, really. It's colored, with beautiful gradations of orange and blue. It's a large bird of some type. Not an eagle -- no, this is a bird Peeta isn't familiar with. A raven? A blackbird?

The bird has an arrow in its beak. Peeta's eyes wander down. Gripped tightly in the bird's talons is a bright red heart.

"Wow. It's beautiful," he murmurs.

"Thank you, Peeta!" Cinna says, with genuine warmth. "I think tonight's shoot will turn out to be pretty special. I'm very glad you were free."

When Peeta feels Clove's fingers on his back, drawing the bird's outlines, he feels a thrill of pride.

"Can you lean forward just a bit?" Clove tells him. "There. Like that. Perfect."

The shoot doesn't take as long this time. Thresh is part of the photographs, hovering over Peeta's back with a needle poised over Peeta's skin, as if he's just putting the finishing touches on his handiwork.

After, he hears Thresh say to Cinna, "The boy's great. Where'd you find him?"

"Pulled him off the street," Cinna replies.

"What? Are you kidding?"

"No," Cinna says. "Literally pulled him off the street. Watched him for a few days before I finally approached. He told me he'd lost his job and couldn't find another apartment. He had something, you know?"

"He's got a great back," Clove puts in. "Not that his face is anything to be ashamed of, either."

Peeta feels himself blushing.

Turning to Peeta, Cinna says, "Thanks for tonight. You'll be hearing from me soon."

Peeta smiles. "Can't wait to see the final results," he tells Cinna. He waves to the others and hurries out the door.

Clove turns away with a shrug. Thresh pokes her playfully in the side.

"A little young for you, don't you think?"

Clove gives a rueful laugh. "He's got a girlfriend."

"You asked?"

"No. He's thinking of getting some ink. Some girl's face."

"Yes!" Thresh gives a loud hoot and follows that up with a fist pump. "You go, Peeta!"

"I told him he'd better be sure, though," Clove says. "If he really wants to make a go of this modeling thing. Takes a lot of time covering up tats for a shoot. Might get -- tedious."

Thresh starts putting away his tools, shaking his head and smiling.

A few blocks away, Peeta picks up his pace. He's just switched on his phone. There are three texts from Katniss.

Done. Almost there, he texts quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I'll load one more chapter tonight.


	26. PRIM, MEET PEETA

Katniss stays late at work. She got Peeta’s text that he had to start his gig an hour early and Seneca’s given her another project. Dropped the file on her deck at 4:08 p.m. precisely. She tries not to scowl when she looks up. She shouldn’t have worried. All she sees of Seneca is his back, headed towards the conference room.

Annie waves to Katniss on her way out. “Working late this evening?” she says. Katniss finds herself glancing at Annie’s belly. There’s barely a bump, and she’s got to be past four months.

“Yeah,” Katniss says. “Peeta’s got a gig.”

“That’s great!” Annie says. “Cinna’s a good guy. If he likes Peeta, he’ll make sure Peeta gets more jobs.”

Katniss returns Annie’s smile. Then she looks back at the file, staring right up at her from the middle of her desk. Annie follows Katniss’s glance. “Oh no,” Annie says. “You’ve been philistine-d.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re getting the red folder,” Annie says, shrugging. “That means – oh well. Don’t work too hard. Maybe Peeta can kiss the hurt away when he gets back.”

Annie giggles. Katniss just stares. With a last wave of her hand, Annie waltzes out.

She makes a mental note to invite Annie and Finnick over, sometime. It’ll be good for her and Peeta to meet other people. As a couple. She realizes their only mutual friend is that priest, Fr. Haymitch. Well, there’s Gale but – Katniss pushes the memory of her ex away. Luckily, she hasn’t seen him in a while. Not since their confrontation in the office.

It’s almost 8 by the time Katniss decides to call it quits for the day. Just before shutting off her computer, she gets an idea. She googles “chef jobs San Francisco.” Her eyes scan quickly down the screen. Line Cook. Barista. Bread Baker. Pastry Cook. Most offer $20 to $30 an hour.

That’s not bad, she thinks. Which reminds her, Thanksgiving is right around the corner. She can’t help a twinge of guilt. She still hasn’t found a way to tell Prim and her mother about Peeta. She has to do it soon.

The evening is surprisingly warm, for November. As she heads to Union Square, she realizes she’s not as bothered by the homeless begging on almost every street corner. They’re there, of course. They’re always there. She still thinks it’s wrong for a city as full of rich people as San Francisco is to let the problem fester. She’s grateful Peeta managed to survive in such an environment. She’s continually amazed by his resilience.

There’s some kind of demonstration in Union Square. So what else is new? She glances curiously at a few placards: MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN. DEPORT TRUMP. The police are out in full force. People are being re-directed. She turns left on Powell.

After the chaos of the streets, her apartment is silent, almost eerily so. She smells the cheese buns before she sees the tray Peeta must have pulled from the oven just before he left. He's left a post-it note next to the tray, with a squiggle of a dandelion on one corner. She texts him, but doesn’t get an answer. She tosses her things on the bed and decides to run herself a bath. Okay, she’ll admit she just wants to luxuriate in her memories of what they did in the tub the previous night.

She remembers the foam bathtub pillow Prim gave her as a moving-in present, months ago. She’s not one for little luxuries, but lately, with Peeta in the apartment, she’s savoring small pleasures. And to tell the truth, after sitting hunched over her desk most of the day, her neck is stiff. She rubs the back of her neck absent-mindedly and wanders to the bay window. She’s set a small table by the window and on it Peeta’s placed a small filigree-shade lamp. She asked him where he got it and he just smiled and said he found it but won’t say where. It is beautiful. She lights the lamp and imagines it like a beacon, calling Peeta home.

_Calling Peeta home? Woman, will you just listen to yourself?_

She looks around restlessly. Might as well relax for a bit, read that Jeff Vandermeer Peeta gave her – seems like ages ago.

_Has it just been two months?_

She’s completely forgotten where she’s stowed the bathtub pillow. She eventually finds it, still in its box, shoved to the back of her clothes closet. She smiles reading Prim’s card, still taped to the front:

**For My Big Sis. Because we can all do with a little pampering. Love, Little Duck.**

She misses her sister. They need to put together a plan for Thanksgiving. Maybe she’ll see if Prim can Skype this evening?

* * *

Peeta enters the building and mounts the stairs with more than a little energy. His mind is roiling with thoughts. Cinna seemed to imply there’d be another gig in Peeta’s future. It’s not exactly the kind of work Peeta ever imagined he’d be doing, but he heard Cinna and Thresh talking and Cinna called Peeta “a real find.”

“Katniss?” Peeta calls out as he enters the door.

“In here!” Katniss says from the bedroom.

Peeta rushes in. His hair’s a bit disheveled, his hands are on the bottom of his T-shirt, as if he’s about to take it off.

“Hey,” he says, quickly stripping off his shirt.

Suddenly, his eyes flit to the lighted square on the bed. Katniss is sitting cross-legged in front of it. In the square is a young woman – blonde, blue-eyed.

“Umm. I’m skyping with Prim,” Katniss says. Her face is a little – embarrassed?

Prim is silent. Her eyes are huge, though, as she takes Peeta in.


	27. PETER/PEETA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prim's interactions with Peeta are going to be the most "fun" aspect of this story!

"Hi," Peeta says at the screen, his right hand going up to rub the back of his neck. Even in the somewhat dim bedroom light, Katniss can see the flush slowly spreading over his cheeks and down his neck.

"Prim, this is Peeta," Katniss says softly.

_Can I take his hand? Why do I even have to think about it? We shouldn't have to hide what we are to each other._

"Hi, umm, Peter," Prim says.

"No, not Peter," Katniss says. "P-E-E-T-A."

"What kind of name is that?" Prim says. She turns to Katniss and asks, "Is he Swedish?"

_Really, Prim? Really?  
_

"No," Peeta says, smiling. "I'm not Swedish. Do I LOOK Swedish to you?"

Prim's eyes rake over Peeta's bare chest. Then they slowly drag up to his face. "Well, yeah," she says. "You could be. You have the whole Skarsgaard thing going . . . "

Peeta looks puzzled. Katniss has to hand it to him. Though shirtless, he is totally unabashed. If anything, Katniss is the one who feels embarrassed. As if she's been caught flirting.

_When she hasn't. She hasn't!_

"Tarzan movie?" Katniss says. "The remake."

Peeta still looks puzzled. Katniss rushes in: "Peeta's not much into movies."

"I can see that," Prim says. "So,PEETA. What were you so excited to tell Katniss a moment ago?"

"Prim!" Katniss bursts out. She has never seen her sister be this nosy with another man. Granted, the only man Prim's had extensive interaction with was Gale.

"No, it's all right," Peeta says, chuckling. "I shouldn't have barged in on Katniss like that. Umm, I think I'm gonna head back out now."

Suddenly, Katniss reaches out and links the fingers of his right hand in hers. He gasps and looks searchingly into her eyes. She smiles reassuringly. When she turns back to the screen, Prim's mouth is hanging open. "Prim, Peeta's my boyfriend," Katniss says.

There's a heavy silence. Katniss waits for a few beats. When nothing seems to be forthcoming, she chides her sister: "Close your mouth, Little Duck. A closed mouth won't catch flies."

The look of fury Prim gives her is priceless.

Peeta pulls his hand out of Katniss's. "Umm, I really have to go. I haven't had anything to eat all night." He looks directly at Prim. "Nice meeting you, Prim."

"Nice meeting you, too, Peeta," Prim says.

Peeta gives Prim a small wave and turns around to leave the room.

Suddenly, Prim exclaims, "Holy fuck! Is that for real?"

Katniss is about to chide her sister ( _Language, Little Duck!_ ) but forgets everything when she glances at Peeta's back.

_Prim's right. Holy Fuck._

"Come closer," Prim says. "I want to see. Is that a bird? A bird with an arrow in its beak? Katniss, can we skype somewhere where there's a little more light?"

_Really? Since when have you become such an ink aficionado?_

Prim continues, "Oh, come on, Katniss. I've never seen anything like it. And, from the look on your face, neither have you."

Katniss takes her laptop to the dining room. Peeta's straddling a dining chair, his back to the screen. Prim's face is large as she presses her face close. Her eyes are flitting over Peeta's back. If she were the one being scrutinized so closely,Katniss knows she would hate it. But Peeta is the soul of patience. Even though she heard him say he hasn't had dinner, and he must be dying of hunger, he still takes time to do this for Prim. And, if Katniss were being completely honest, she knows he's doing this for her as well.

Katniss has to fight the urge to touch Peeta's back. Instead, she puts a hand on his shoulder. The warmth of him sends waves of heat over her. He looks at her, his blue eyes showing a touch of weariness.

Prim can't stop asking questions: "You get paid to just sit there and have people paint that on your back?" She sounds awed. "That's wild!"

"Well, they were looking for someone with a -- with a -- particular -- " Peeta tries to answer, but he doesn't seem to be able to come up with the right words.

"Strong, sexy back!" Katniss bursts out. She claps her hand over her mouth.

_Oops! I can't believe I just said that! To my little sister!_

"You know," Prim says, as if Katniss hasn't spoken up, "you could probably make a ton of money just doing body work."

"I suppose," Peeta says. He's full-on blushing now. Good thing Prim can't see his face.

"Yeah, absolutely," Prim continues, excited. "This was for a biker magazine? Do you actually get to ride a bike?"

"That would be cool," Peeta says. "But I just did the tattoo parlor scenes. Thresh, the owner of the tattoo shop? He's got a beautiful collection of bikes. He's gonna be the cover. I'm just a side piece."

"Well, he wouldn't just get anyone to work with, Peeta. He must really like you," Prim says.

At that, Katniss can't stop a small smile of pride from creeping onto her face.

"Yeah," Peeta says, quickly glancing over at Katniss. "Cinna mentioned he has me in mind for another gig. That's what I was so excited to tell you, Katniss."

"Peeta, that's fantastic!" Katniss says.

Prim nods eagerly. "Did he say what kind of shoot?" she asks.

Katniss can't help feeling amused by Prim's interest.

"I think it's -- " Peeta begins.

"No shirt? Body shots?" Prim says.

Katniss raises a quizzical eyebrow.

"Well, it's something to do with food. He didn't share too much," Peeta says.


	28. AWESTRUCK

"Prim, gotta go. Peeta hasn't had dinner, and I have to get up early for work," Katniss says.

"Sure!" Prim says brightly. "See you soon!"

"See you soon," Katniss echoes. Peeta stands and stretches.

_His hips, oh my God his hips. And that trail of darker blonde hair going into his jeans._

_Well, damn._

Then he smiles directly at the screen. Prim hasn't moved. Katniss doesn't think she's ever seen her sister this awestruck.

"Nice meeting you, Prim," Peeta says.

Prim swallows and manages to croak out, "Nice meeting you too, Peeta." Katniss doesn't miss the way her younger sister's eyes look straight at -- Peeta.

The screen dims and Prim's face disappears.

"Thank you so much, Peeta," Katniss says. "I didn't realize you hadn't eaten." She chuckles. "I also didn't expect Prim to enjoy talking to you so much."

"It's fine," Peeta says. "I'm so glad I finally met her."

Katniss smiles, then grasps Peeta's hand and pulls him towards the kitchen. Since Peeta moved in, he's kept the fridge full. She even saw prosciutto the other day. Prosciutto! And cheese! And o.j.! And milk! And eggs! And butter! And tomatoes and lettuce and vegetables!

As she bends over, pulling the makings of a sandwich from the shelves, she feels Peeta behind her.

_Oh my God, he feels hard._

She straightens and looks at him. He pulls her towards him.

"Peeta -- " Katniss says. "Don't -- " His lips land on hers. He gives her a tender kiss. Then, he pulls back. "God, I'm tired," he says. "I'm just going to drop on the bed."

"Making you a sandwich first," Katniss says. He nods and moves away from her. Katniss is acutely conscious of the heat uncoiling in her belly.

"Ham? Or pastrami? Roast beef?"

"Roast beef," Peeta says, then adds: "Please."

Katniss piles on the roast beef; it's a very top-heavy sandwich, the top piece of bread slides.

"Shit," she breathes. "I'm so bad at this."

Peeta comes forward and puts his hand over hers. "Like that matters."

She shoves the plate at him, and he takes a huge bite. Half the sandwich gone! She stares at him.

"I always wanted to tell her before she and Mom came," Katniss whispers. Peeta nods, munching away. "What about your family?" Katniss says. "They're not mad because you're not going home for Thanksgiving?"

He stops chewing, swallows. "No," he says. "They won't be mad."

"Okay," Katniss shrugs. "You don't seem very close to them."

"I'm not," Peeta says tersely. He tosses the plate into the sink; it makes a loud clatter.

_This is obviously a touchy area. Should I keep going? I'll keep going._

"Got any siblings?" Katniss asks.

"Yeah," Peeta says, turning the kitchen faucet on. "I have two older brothers."

"So you're the youngest," Katniss says. "Huh."

Peeta says, still with his back turned, "What does HUH mean?"

"It's just -- you'd think they'd worry about you. All the more so because you're the youngest."

"No one worries about me," Peeta says.

"Not true. I worry about you," Katniss says.

"I wasn't referring to you."

Katniss says, "Peeta, look at me. What is WRONG?"

"You really want me to spell it out?" He turns, wiping his hands methodically on the dish towel. "My mother -- she's abusive."

Katniss gasps. "What? What do you mean 'abusive'?"

"I got black eyes all the time."

"No!" Katniss can feel the sting of tears. "That's horrible."

"Oh, I'm no martyr, don't worry," Peeta says. "I got out of there as soon as I could." He shrugs. "I never call home. Never."

"But what about your brothers?" Katniss asks. "Don't they talk to you?"

"No, not really," Peeta shakes his head. "So now you know why I joined the Army."

"How old were you?"

"I was 18."

_Peeta was in the Army? He might have died!_

"Oh, don't worry," Peeta says, as if he can read her thoughts. "Mellarks are pretty hard to kill. Unless they have cancer."

There is something so immeasurably sad in Peeta's voice as he says the last word. Katniss comes up close and wraps her arms around his waist.

"Was it -- your dad?" she whispers.

_Here it comes._

Peeta nods. She can feel him tremble in her arms. They go to bed, neither of them able to do much more than hold each other.

Peeta falls asleep first. Katniss waits until his breath evens out. Then, ever so carefully, she moves her face up to his. Breathes for a few moments over his face. Carefully presses a soft, tender kiss on his right eyelid. Waits to see if he rouses. He doesn't. She presses a soft kiss on his left eyelid. Three times more, on each eyelid. Trying her best to erase the last traces of the memory of his blackened eyes.


	29. STIRRING

"Peeta?" Katniss calls out.

"Kitchen!" he says.

Katniss didn't really need to ask. She should just have realized, from the smells wafting through the apartment.

"I got the asparagus and cheese you wanted!" she says, entering the kitchen.

There he is: standing with his back to her, wearing just his jeans, stirring something in a pot. He hasn't washed off the art on his back yet. Katniss smiles, looking forward to helping Peeta with it later.

"Do I smell -- bacon?" Katniss says, with a big grin.

"Pancetta," Peeta says. "We're having spaghetti ala carbonara tonight!"

"Yummm," Katniss says, coming up to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Smells wonderful." Peeta stills, and covers both hands with his own. She asks, "Want me to open a bottle?"

"Sure," he says.

_Something about him feels different tonight._

Katniss pulls a chilled bottle of Maubet from the fridge. It's a fruity French wine. It's something Katniss discovered about Peeta: he likes white wine. And he knows his labels, too.

She pours a generous amount in two glasses, then pushes one in front of him.

"Are you all right?" she asks.

He doesn't look at her.

"Yeah."

"You seem -- quiet."

He looks at her, sensing her concern. "I'm fine," he says. Then, he shakes his head. "No. I can't lie. I'm not fine. I spent all day thinking about what I told you last night. About my mother."

Katniss moves closer and puts a hand on Peeta's forearm.

"And I've been thinking -- feeling, actually -- pretty awful all day. I'm sorry. I'm such a downer."

"Hey," Katniss whispers. She turns him around gently. "I'm glad you told me. All right? You shouldn't have to keep that a secret. It isn't your fault."

"But -- " Peeta takes a deep breath. "After I told you. The look on your face. Like you pitied me. I don't want your pity, Katniss. I don't need your pity."

"Peeta, I -- "

He moves out of reach, quicker than she can react. Carefully, he drains the noodles and gets six eggs from the carton on the counter.

"Go sit down," Peeta says. "Dinner will be ready soon."

"I don't want to sit down," Katniss says. "I want to be here, with you."

Peeta simply shrugs. "Suit yourself," he says. He rinses the asparagus she brought, then slices them up. They don't speak. She watches as he whisks egg whites, and then adds them to the pasta.

He divides the pasta into two bowls, carefully making a nest in the center of each portion. He gently drops an egg yolk into each nest. "Dinner is done!" he says, nudging her toward the dining room.

Katniss sits, and Peeta places a bowl in front of her. She stares, fascinated, at the yolk. "I've never had pasta like this before," she says.

"You're supposed to stir the egg into the pasta," Peeta says, with a chuckle. "Oh! I forgot the Parmigiana. Be back in a minute."

He goes to the kitchen. Katniss puts her fork down and waits. She can't help the unease she feels.

_He's really different tonight. Withdrawn._

He places the bowl of grated Parmigiana on the table. "Eat!" he says, gently touching her hand.

Katniss just nods.

They eat quietly for a few moments.

"Katniss, I've been thinking," Peeta says.

Katniss feels her stomach drop.

"Your family's coming next week, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable -- "

"I won't be uncomfortable. Prim knows about us . . . "

Peeta smiles. "You've been wonderful, Katniss. You've taken such good care of me. I can't thank you enough."

"You've taken care of me, too. It's a two-way street, Peeta," Katniss says.

"Yeah. But -- wouldn't you prefer I move elsewhere, at least for Thanksgiving? I can ask Fr. Haymitch -- "

"No, Peeta. No!" Katniss says, reaching out and clutching his hand. "You will NOT do this. We've been OVER this."

"I know. But," Peeta says. "I want to do things on my own for a little bit. To prove to myself I'm not the worm my family thinks I am. So I don't feel like I'm leaching on you." When Katniss doesn't say anything, Peeta clears his throat. "How's the carbonara?"

"Oh, umm, it's good," she says.

_I'm dying inside._

"Really good," she emphasizes. Slowly, she picks up her fork.

* * *

As Peeta gets up to clear the dishes, Katniss puts her hand over his. "Leave it," she says. "Let's go take a walk."

He looks at her. "Where?"

"Anywhere. Doesn't matter. Come on." She holds out her hand.

He smiles. "I'll get my jacket."

They hold hands as they go down the stairs.

_It could be any normal night. We could be any normal couple._

_We're so not._

They cross the small lobby, their boots making loud sounds against the faux marble floor.

Outside, it's stinging cold. The sidewalk is empty.

"So glad it's not raining," Katniss says.

"Which way?" Peeta asks.

She comes to a stop.

"Something wrong?" he says.

"I remember this place."

Peeta looks around, a little confused.

"You don't remember?" Katniss says, accusingly. Peeta just stares. Katniss prompts, "Are those for me?"

Peeta nods, slowly. "Of course."

"You said it here. Right here."

Peeta looks down at his shoes.

Katniss continues: "We didn't know each other. Or, at least, I didn't know you. You were just some random homeless man. And you came up to me."

"Yeah." A soft smile appears on Peeta's face. "I saw you with those irises. You were so beautiful."

" _Were_?" Katniss says, poking him in the side.

"No, ARE. ARE beautiful." Peeta pulls her to him.

"We've come a long way since then, haven't we?" Katniss murmurs against Peeta's chest.

Peeta's arms tighten around her. "Yes, we have."

"And now," Katniss says, "Now we're in love and blissfully happy."

Peeta pulls back and looks deeply into Katniss's eyes. "Are you, Katniss? Are you blissfully happy?"

"I am," Katniss says. "Are you?"

Peeta answers without hesitation, "I am. When I'm with you."

"No more looking back, okay?" Katniss says. "Prim and my mother are coming next week. You're going to cook all of us a fan-TAS-tic holiday dinner. You're going to walk around the apartment without a shirt so my little sister can ogle your back . . . "

Peeta's laugh is rich and loud. "Really?"

"Really," Katniss says, and stands on tiptoe so she can press a kiss on his lips. Then, she gives his right ear a tender nip.

_He tastes like boy and cinnamon, all mixed together. A little bit of sweat, too. MMMM. Delicious._

"And we're going to be oh-so-thankful that, this Thanksgiving, we have each other," she murmurs into his neck.

"Katniss -- " Peeta says, his voice gruff.

_Oh. I can feel what my words do to him._

"It's a bit cold out here. Inside? Now?" she says.

Peeta says, "Did you drag me out here just for this?"

Katniss says, "You're not mad?"

"Surprisingly, no."


	30. MONSTER TURKEY

Katniss pats her slightly distended belly. Peeta's been testing pumpkin pie recipes, and she's had a different version the last three nights.

There's an almost completely defrosted Diestel turkey in the fridge. She had to persuade Peeta not to go for the Monster Turkey -- "It'll just go to waste," she argued. "We'll hardly be home." The menu Peeta devised is pretty straightforward, but Katniss can't imagine having that much food -- every shelf in the fridge is packed. Peeta says he's preparing a special stuffing for the turkey, but he hasn't shared the ingredients with Katniss.

It's Tuesday. Prim and her mom are arriving the next day. Katniss is going to the airport to meet them. Peeta said he'd stay in the apartment, "tidying up."

Since the event Katniss now refers to as "The Talk," when she felt Peeta pulling away and she had to practically force him back to her by taking him to the sidewalk and reminding him of how they met, the two have spent every evening tangled in each other's arms. They talk. Often, the talks end in silence. Always, they make love. They don't always make it to the bed. Looking around at their little nest, they both know things will never be the same.

Katniss is excited to have her mother meet Peeta (Prim's already met him, Skype counts). She hopes her mother doesn't say, "What about Gale?" or anything Godawful like that. So far, she's said absolutely nothing about Peeta.

Prim is another story. She seems half in love with Peeta already, so no worries on that score. If anything, Katniss worries she might have to rein in her little sister's flirting. She's always behaved well -- at least, with Katniss. But Peeta seems to have brought out something a little wild in her.

She's sure Peeta can handle it, though. Women ogling his chest? He must have gotten plenty of that in his three photo shoots. He hasn't seen the proofs yet from his latest gig, but Cinna's asked Peeta to meet for coffee, the Monday after Thanksgiving.

"Maybe it's about a new gig," Katniss says.

"Maybe," Peeta says. "He's really nice. I wouldn't mind working with him again."

"You think I could come along and watch, sometime?" Katniss asks.

Peeta hesitates. A green shoot of jealousy sprouts somewhere in Katniss's chest. But she says, hurriedly, "Don't want to throw you off your game, though. It might seem a bit -- unprofessional, having your girlfriend on-set?"

"It won't," Peeta assures her.

_Yeah, right._

But right now, she's happy. She can't even remember what she did the Thanksgiving before. She must have spent it with Gale. Hadn't she? He was already in San Francisco. Did she fly down? She frowns, wondering at her absent-mindedness.

"Hey," Peeta says, kissing her softly. "You're scowling." He traces her right eyebrow with a forefinger.

"Was I?" Katniss says. "Sorry. What was the last thing you said?"

"I said, Sharks."

Katniss fixes him with a glare. "No, you didn't."

"I did," Peeta says, laughing. "I said, 'So sharks can shoot beams from their heads.' And you just nodded and said, Uh-huh."

"Did not!" Katniss says, throwing a mock-punch at his shoulder. They arm-wrestle for a few moments, laughing like schoolchildren. That is, until they start kissing and their hands move deftly beneath each other's clothing, kindling desire.


	31. SERIOUSLY, MOM?

"Prim! Prim!" Katniss calls out, waving. The small crowd waiting with her at the gate give her an indulgent look, clearing a path towards the the blonde girl with the pink backpack who shrieks back in response: "Katiss! Katniss!"

Prim and Katniss run, meeting each other halfway and hugging.

"I've missed you, Little Duck!" Katniss says, joyfully.

"Me, too!" Prim says.

Katniss lifts her eyes. "Mom," she breathes. Her mother looks tired, shadows under her eyes. "How was the flight?"

"It was okay. Except for the screaming babies," her mother says.

"Mom had to work some; we almost didn't make our flight!" Prim says.

"Oh, no!" Katniss says, reaching out and squeezing her mother's hand. Her mother gives her a wan smile in return. Before she can say anything, though, Prim breaks in with, "Is Peeta here?"

"Umm, no," Katniss says. "He's waiting in the apartment."

"I'm looking forward to meeting him," Mrs. Everdeen says.

"Let's get your luggage," Katniss says.

* * *

Prim and her mother each have one large rolly. "Oof!" Katniss says, tugging the first rolly off the carousel. "What do you have in here? Books?"

"Yes," Prim says.

"I told her she was bringing too many clothes," her mother says.

"Seriously, Mom?" Prim says. "We're here five days!" Prim turns to Katniss. "It's just a couple of sweaters. And a jacket."

"She brought along her high-heeled boots, too," her mother adds drily. "I told her there are hills, but she wouldn't listen."

"Well, I'll make sure you get to wear those boots, at least once," Katniss says, smiling.

"You're the best, sis!" Prim says, grinning happily.

Katniss calls for an Uber. Once they're settled inside the white Prius, Prim says, "Okay, we're going to play 20 questions. What is Peeta's favorite color?"

"No," Katniss says. "I am not playing this game right now."

"Why not?" Prim whines. "What's his favorite food? Where's he from? How'd the two of you meet?"

"Slow down," Katniss says. "Why don't you wait till we're in the apartment and you can ask him yourself?"

"Spoilsport," Prim says. She leans back in her seat, sighing softly.

"How've you been?" Katniss's mother asks, putting a hand over Katniss's.

"I'm fine," Katniss says.

_Never better._

"Well, you look good," her mother says.

"Thank you," Katniss says. Then she swallows. "I'm happy."

Prim looks over her shoulder at Katniss. "Yeah. Cause you're not with Gale anymore."

The silence in the car is thick.

"Have you seen Gale since -- ?" her mother asks.

"No," Katniss says. "It's better this way."

"That's too bad," her mother says.

"Really, Mom?" Katniss says. "He cheated on me."

"Only because you let him go."

"I let him go? I let him go? I flew down here to be with him. That was the only reason."

"Katniss, he made a mistake. He's sorry. Did the two of you even talk?"

Katniss feels a surge of anger.

"You're acting like you feel sorry for him," she grits out. "Like he's the victim."

"Of course not. Stop putting words in my mouth," her mother says tartly.

Prim keeps her face turned away. Katniss knows this is her sister's way of absenting herself from the conversation. They're trapped together in a car, which is the only reason she doesn't walk away.

"Mom, I am not getting back together with Gale. I've moved on."

Her mother nods and doesn't say anything more. When the lights of the San Francisco skyline come into view, Prim grabs her mother's hands. "Look! Look!" she says.

"Very pretty," her mother says.

When they get to downtown, and the streets start to climb, Prim gasps. Directly ahead, almost perpendicular, are a string of cars, red brake lights flashing. "I could never drive here," she murmurs. They stop to allow a cable car to pass.

"Oooh! Katniss, can we ride one?" Prim says.

"Of course!" Katniss says. "Can't have you in San Francisco without riding a cable car!"

The driver unexpectedly puts in: "You can get them on any street corner on Powell."

"Do you know how late they run?" Katniss asks.

"Till midnight," the driver says.

"So, would you like to do that tonight, Prim?" Katniss asks.

"Umm." Prim casts a brief glance at her mom. "Maybe tomorrow."

There's no parking in front of the building, so the driver asks if it's okay to drop them at the corner.

"Sure!" Katniss says.

The driver pops the trunk, and Katniss, Prim, and her mom get out of the car.

Katniss has just put her hand on her sister's bag when she hears someone say, "Let me."

_Peeta!_

"Were you waiting on the sidewalk?" she asks, giving him a nudge and a quick peck on the cheek. His cheek feels cold.

_He must have been waiting a while._

Katniss frowns, not liking the thought of him in the cold. But before she can say anything, she hears a giggle. She straightens and sees Prim staring at Peeta, a huge, shit-eating grin on her face.

Her mother's voice cuts in: "You must be Peeta."


	32. PILLOW TALK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get awkward. Pretty fast.
> 
> Peeta is just so intuitive.

"Hey, everything okay?" Peeta asks. His arm is wrapped around Katniss. They're nestled against each other in her bed. Katniss planned for her mother and Prim to take the bedroom and for her and Peeta to sleep on the sofabed, but her mother wouldn't hear of it. To tell the truth, Katniss is relieved. This gives her and Peeta some privacy, and maybe if they're really quiet --

"Yeah," Katniss says, curling deeper into him.

_God, he just feels so good. And he smells good, too._

"Think they liked dinner?" Peeta asks.

"Of course!" Katniss says. "The amount of food you prepared was insane. And you did all the washing up, too. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? What's there to be sorry about? I love cooking."

"I meant." Katniss swallows. "I'm sorry about my mom."

Peeta's silent for a moment. "She didn't say anything wrong," he says.

"She could have been -- friendlier."

"Katniss, no." Peeta tightens his hold on her. "She was tired."

"How do you do that?" Katniss asks.

"Do what?"

"Always see the good in people."

"Correction. I do not always see the good in people."

"Well, I'm just saying. Feel free to blow off my mom tomorrow if you feel like it."

"She's fine, Katniss. It's going to be fine."

"What? We're all going to have a peachy family day? Is that what you're thinking?"

"Well, I don't know about PEACHY . . . funny, I've never heard you use that word before. Yet a new entry for my Katniss Lexicon."

"You have a _Katniss Lexicon?_ " Katniss tries to turn around, but Peeta holds her firmly in place. "Why haven't I heard of it before?"

"Because it's secret," Peeta says. Katniss can feel his smile on her shoulder.

"Oh? Well it's not a secret anymore."

"Ah. But you only know one word in the lexicon. You won't learn the others so easily."

"Peeta -- " Katniss wriggles, trying to get up. "Stop. Your mouth is -- you're tickling me."

"I'm TICKLING you?"

"Yes. And you know, we can't. Not until we're absolutely sure they're asleep. They've probably got their ears peeled right now."

"Really. You think they're waiting to hear us having sex?"

"Peeta!"

"Well, I don't think so, Katniss. I think they're probably nodding off right now."

"Maybe my MOM is. But _Prim_ \-- "

Peeta sighs. "Okay." He releases Katniss and flops on his back.

"She's -- my little sister. It would be weird."

"Absolutely. Yes. Okay."

Katniss plants a kiss on Peeta's jaw. "She's a little -- well, she's got a super-big crush on you."

"She's sweet," Peeta says.

"It's really funny, watching her try to flirt with you."

"She wasn't."

Katniss chuckles. "If you say so. I know my sister. I've never seen her act so -- giggly."

"Let her be."

"So, I'm not at all sure how tomorrow's going to go. I'm just warning you. Between giggly Prim and Mom-From-Outer-Space . . . "

"All we need now is for Gale to show up."

Katniss startles at the bitterness in Peeta's voice.

"He is NOT -- what is wrong with you? Why bring him up? Now, of all times."

"You don't think your Mom was thinking about him?"

"NO."

"All right."

Katniss flops away from Peeta and tugs the comforter around herself, feeling bruised. They don't speak again.


	33. HEART TO HEART

Katniss doesn't fall asleep until the wee hours. When she rubs her bleary eyes and glances at the clock, it's barely 6. She groans, thinking of the long day ahead. She casts a quick glance at Peeta. Nope, he's out like a light. He must have been worn out with all the events of yesterday.

Katniss bites her lip. She can't help feeling guilty about her mother, the coldness of their initial meeting. Out there, on the sidewalk, Peeta had extended his hand. His mother had hesitated. Peeta kept the smile on his face but Katniss could sense something in his eyes. Surprise first, then caution. After that, he'd hugged Prim but his mother's steady gaze seemed to be fastened on him all evening. He'd dropped a wine glass while pouring some wine. It had shattered on the kitchen floor and Peeta had cursed, loudly. Katniss had hurried towards him, her mother right behind. She had shooed her mother away so that she and Peeta could clean up the mess. Katniss caught just one brief glimpse of Prim: standing at the door to the kitchen, her face anxious. She lifted her head, caught Katniss's gaze, and quickly turned away.

Eventually, they'd all sat down to dinner, and everything had gone more or less smoothly. But Peeta never seemed quite able to recover his aplomb. And Prim was quiet. Too quiet. Not the slightest giggle from her.

It all made Katniss feel tired. So tired.

Now, she slips outs of bed and heads for the kitchen, trying to be quiet so she doesn't wake either her mother or Prim. She enters the kitchen and stops. Her mother is standing there, facing the sink. She's wearing the same worn bathrobe she's had for as long as Katniss can remember. Her blonde hair looks thin. Her shoulders are stooped.

"Mom?" Katniss says hesitantly.

Her mother turns. The shadows under her mother's eyes are, if anything, more pronounced than they were last night, when Katniss met them at the airport.

"What are you doing up so early?" Katniss asks.

Her mother shrugs. "Too much on my mind," she says.

"I was going to make coffee," Katniss says.

She goes to stand beside her mother. In a low voice, Katniss says, "You don't like Peeta." Katniss emits a shaky breath. "Just, please wait. Wait until you've gotten to know him a little better. If you only knew how -- "

Her mother gazes at her. "You're wrong," she says. "I like him. I like him because he makes you happy."

Katniss's mouths trembles.

_Dammit, I'm going to cry._

Her mother lifts a hand and gently strokes Katniss's cheek. "You are beautiful," she murmurs. "And brave. And you don't give yourself enough credit. Your dad always said that any man who chose you would be the smartest man in the world. And he was right."

"Oh, Mom," Katniss says. It comes out sounding more like a sob.

"You know," her mother continues, "when you came to the airport yesterday, there was something different about you. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I thought at first I was just imagining things. But later, the more you spoke, the clearer it became. You never really loved Gale, did you?"

Katniss shakes her head. "I thought I did," she says.

"I thought you did, too," her mother says. "But -- you're so different now, Katniss. It's like, there's a light inside you. Radiant. For the first time. It was quite a shock, let me tell you. You and Gale -- everyone just thought you were the greatest couple in the world."

Katniss wraps her arms around her mother's shoulders. She can't speak. Her mother strokes her back gently. "Funny. I used to think Gale was so right for you. He was like you, in so many ways. But, honey, it would have been a big mistake, marrying him. I know that now."

Katniss's arms tighten around her mother.

"You and Peeta, on the other hand -- it happened so quickly. And I worried about you, Katniss. I really did worry. I thought it was too soon, right after you and Gale broke up. There's one thing I'd really like to know: How did you and Peeta meet?"

Katniss straightens. She squares her shoulders and looks intently into her mother's eyes. "Peeta and I met . . . on the street."

"Is that the name of a club?" her mother says.

"Umm. No. Not -- exactly. I meant I met him on this street. On Grant."

"Oh!" her mother says. "Silly me. When you said 'Street' I immediately thought: CLLUB! I don't know why. I know the one you and Gale liked, in Seattle. Alley Cat, was it? You and he wouldn't get back until the wee hours and I thought for sure you'd be pregnant before you'd even been dating a year."

Katniss's eyes narrow. "Mom? Umm, I've got to lay some ground rules here. Don't mention Gale again. Not to me, and _especially_ not to Peeta."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like it's gonna be a loooong week for Katniss. And Peeta. Hah!


	34. HEART TO HEART, PART 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've written Katniss's mother as asking the most GAAAAH questions. 
> 
> Thank you to all who read and who comment. Really brightens my day!

Katniss's mother just stares, a look of hurt on her face.

_Oh shit._

"Mom, I'm sorry to be so -- blunt. But Peeta isn't just some straw man, sitting there for -- I don't know, your entertainment? He -- I mean, WE -- are in a relationship. And every time you bring up Gale, how do you think he feels?"

"I'm sorry, honey," her mother whispers. "I don't know why, but every time I'm with you, I end up putting my foot in my mouth."

_Damn it!_

"I have an idea," Katniss says. "Let's go have coffee. Just you and me. Don't worry about Prim; she'll be asleep for at least another hour, I know her. And anyway, this won't take long. There are some important things I have to tell you about Peeta and me, and it's best if we do it away from here."

Her mother nods. "I'll get dressed," she says quietly.

Katniss's heart thumps loud in her chest, and a voice in her head thunders: _What are you doing?_

It doesn't take her mother long and soon, they're on the sidewalk. The sun feels wonderful. There's a man lying on the sidewalk in a fetal position. Her mother gasps. "Is he dead?" she asks Katniss.

"No, just sleeping off a hangover, probably," Katniss says.

_Of all the luck. I think that was Grasshopper._

Katniss steers her mother away from the man and they head to Bush Street. Thankfully, there are only a handful of homeless around. The ambulatory ones. And none of them are too aggressive. For the most part they look glum and pre-occupied and ignore the two women.

Katniss and her mother pass Father Haymitch's church. Katniss glances up quickly, wondering if Father Haymitch is up and handing out coffee and bagels to the homeless who usually crowd the church's side door. She doesn't see anyone in the alley, though.

Her mother doesn't miss a thing. "You go there?" she asks Katniss, indicating the church with a tilt of her head.

"Umm, no. Not really. Peeta knows some of the priests, though."

"Oh, is he Catholic?" her mother asks.

"No, he's -- " Thankfully, they're at the Starbucks. It's almost empty. "I'll explain after I've gotten our coffees. What'll you have?"

"Café au lait," her mother says.

"Take that table over there," Katniss says. "I'll go order."

The table's tucked away in a corner, next to the newspaper stand. Even if people start streaming in, it will afford them some privacy.

When Katniss is seated in front of her mother, her mother blurts out, "You're pregnant. I knew it."

"Mom!" Katniss huffs. "Why is it always x+y= n with you? Being in a relationship does not mean I'm going to get pregnant!"

"I'm just preparing myself for the worst," her mother says. She doesn't look the least bit sorry. In fact, she looks like steel. "Is he -- on drugs?"

"No. Why? Does he _look_ like he's on drugs?"

"No, not really. I thought I smelled something last night, that's all. That kind of skunk smell. I know it's weed. And this being San Francisco -- " her mother shrugs. "And that store we just passed had a big sign in the window saying BEST PURPLE KUSH. I don't know anything about Purple Kush, but I've heard enough about San Francisco and its relaxed ways."

"Mom," Katniss says. "That was a medical clinic. The Purple Kush is _for medicinal purposes only._ "

"Oh I see," her mother says, a disbelieving look on her face.

"Besides, that's not the point. Neither Peeta nor I smoke. But, FYI, Gale does. Who do you think gave me my first toke?"

"Katniss!"

Katniss shrugs. "Things aren't always as they seem. Just saying."

Her mother sips her coffee carefully, for once seemingly content to listen.

Katniss pushes herself to sit up straighter in her chair. "Anyway," she begins. "I didn't ask you here to waste time talking about Gale. I asked you here so we could talk about Peeta."

Katniss hesitates.

_This is hard._

"It was about a month after I got here. I remember it was a Friday. I was planning to spend the whole weekend by myself, watching Netflix. On the way home, I stopped to pick up a bunch of flowers, just to cheer myself up. I was just a block from my building when I heard a man ask, _Are those for me?_ And -- it was Peeta."

_Keep going. She's listening, at least._

"He saved me that day. Just a minute before, I was feeling really desperate and sad. After that, I felt I could change. That things could get better. And they did. When I met him, he had fallen on hard times. He was between jobs. But he still had so much light and optimism. I like to think that he passed some of that optimism along to me. After what you said to me last night, how you saw I'd changed, I think maybe he did."

Katniss stops to collect her thoughts. She doesn't dare look at her mother, it's hard enough trying to parse her relationship with Peeta. It's hard enough remembering how she was _before_ Peeta, when she'd spent every night crying and stuffing herself with tubs of vanilla ice cream because she didn't have the energy to cook dinner for herself. She never laughed since getting to San Francisco -- not once -- not until the day Peeta struck up a conversation. Now, with him, the laughs come easily. Loving and being loved by Peeta made that happen.


	35. THE OTP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what you might call 'The Never-Ending Conversation.'

"Katniss, before you go any further," her mother says. "I have to confess something."

_Well, this is unexpected._

"Your dad, he was the love of my life. But he wasn't my first love. When I met him, I was with someone else."

Katniss shifts uncomfortably in her seat.

_I'll just keep this blank look on my face._

"My first boyfriend was a Mellark."

At this, Katniss's eyebrows rise so far up, they almost hit her hairline.

"A -- WHAT?"

"A Mellark. You know, the baking family."

"Oh. I see," Katniss says.

_Even though I can't even._

"My boyfriend's name was Tom. Thomas. We dated for years -- all through senior year of high school and through college. And then, one day --"

Now it is her mother's turn to stop. She takes a deep breath. "One day, I was invited by a girlfriend to watch her boyfriend rehearse: he was in the Music Department and they were doing a chorale program for the Holidays. Not all the singers were from the Music Department; some were from other departments but auditioned and were accepted. Your father was one of those from an outside department: He was in Biology."

Her mother takes one of Katniss's hands in her own. "I think you know where this story is going, don't you, Katniss?"

Katniss nods. "What I felt for your father was so different from what I felt for Tom. I attended every rehearsal after that, and little by little, your father and I fell in love. Tom could see it happening -- right before his very eyes. But he didn't do anything to stop it. He let me go. He was a prince."

"Your father and I were married, and we had a wonderful life together. He was the kindest, sweetest man. And we made two beautiful daughters."

_So Peeta's dad was my mom's boyfriend? It's too much. What are the odds?_

"I heard that Tom Mellark married. He had three boys. I didn't know his wife at all, we didn't move in the same social or professional circles. Yes, we both lived and worked in Seattle, but we never saw each other again. And then, several years ago, I was casually reading the obituaries in the Times and I saw his name."

Suddenly, her mother's eyes fill with tears. She swallows. Katniss reaches her other hand out to her mother. The two remain silent, gripping each other's hands across the table.

_So she did love him. Not as much as she loved my dad, but she did care about him._

"He had cancer. He left three surviving children. One of his children -- I remembered the name because I kept thinking how unusual it was -- was named Peeta."

"I didn't attend the funeral, I didn't want to see his family (His parents knew I had broken his heart; maybe even his wife knew). But I still think about him now. Even though I made the right decision in marrying your father, I know I changed Tom's life forever, and I always prayed that he was happy."

"After that, I'd see snippets about the Mellark boys in the papers. The two were cut-ups, problems in school, public drunkenness. The youngest joined the Army. I don't know why, I worried over him, as if he were my own child. I was so relieved to find out -- I'm not even sure from where -- that he was back."

"Peeta told me about that," Katniss whispers. "He volunteered when he turned 18."

"Yes, and I remember thinking that you don't just go off like that, there has to be a reason. Something he's trying to escape."

"I knew that having a love like the one I shared with your dad was rare. And when he died, it broke me. I'm sure you remember how I was those years."

Katniss nods.

"I prayed you would never suffer like I had to. When you and Gale started dating, I was relieved, to say the least. You were so alike. I knew your relationship was based on a strong friendship, and that even if the romance floundered, even if those passionate feelings waned, you'd still have the friendship as a foundation. Which meant, I thought, that if something happened to Gale, you wouldn't be like me. You wouldn't be as affected. You'd survive whatever it was. Because I never wanted you to have to go through what I did when I lost my One True Person."

Now her mother is full-on crying. There are a few more people in the Starbucks now, and two of those, a young couple seated two tables over, are openly staring. Katniss gives them her best scowl and they quickly look away.

Her mother releases Katniss's hands and sits up. She takes a deep breath, "A few months ago, Katniss, I got a call from Gale. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

_WTF? Gale called my mom??? That douche!_

"He -- " her mother hesitates. "He told me that you were with a new guy. When he mentioned the name -- Peeta -- I remembered from Tom Mellark's obituary. I asked Gale to spell it, thinking it was probably 'Peter' and Gale just heard wrong, but Gale was very definite. It was P-E-E-T-A. Like I said before, it's a pretty unique name."

_That asshole! I'm going to ream him good. I still have his number . . ._

"He got me so worried! I know you and Gale had a falling out, but I didn't know you'd taken on another relationship, so soon."

Katniss's face is all kinds of red. Her scowl might be permanently etched on her face. She slides her chair back, getting ready to storm out of the Starbucks. But then her mother's hand shoots out.

_Umm. I forgot how strong my mother is. She's got me in her Death Star grip._

"No! I am not letting go of this conversation just yet. Sit down, young lady!"

Katniss has to bite down a sharp retort, but she returns to her seat. She can't look at her mother. She's furious: at Gale, yes, but at her mother, too.

"I'm sorry, honey, but hear me out. Gale, the first time he called -- "

"He called more than once?"

"Dear. Let me finish. The first time he called, he was so broken up, he could hardly speak. He was sobbing."

 _I can't believe this. Gale went behind my back to smear Peeta to my own mother! Of all the_ _FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!_

"I love how your face tells me exactly what you're thinking, dear. You probably want to break Gale's neck, right now."

The couple two tables away, who've fallen unaccountably silent, begin shifting uneasily around in their chairs.

"I let him say his piece. Something about it all being his fault. But, you know, as soon as I found out he was talking about Peeta Mellark, I thought: the universe really does work in strange ways. Mellark men just can't resist an Everdeen woman. It must be written in the stars or something. That's what I was thinking. While your ex was blubbering on the phone."

Katniss wants to burst out laughing. But if the couple eavesdropping don't yet think she's absolutely nuts -- in about half an hour, she's gone from holding her mother's hand, to threatening to leave, to wanting to burst out in hysterical laughing, LMAO! -- they might now. She keeps her face placid.

"You told me he just approached you on the street and asked about some flowers. When I heard that, I knew there was no use fighting it -- here are two young people who meet randomly on the street, and what are the odds that they would both be from Seattle. Not only that, the girl is my daughter, and the man is the son of the man whose heart I broke. You know, sometimes the universe needs a generation to get things right. That's what I'm thinking right now, honey. Now let's hurry on home. I'm worried about your sister. She has a big crush on Peeta and there's no telling what she'll do if she surprises him in the shower."


	36. NOW THE FEAST

"Prim?" Katniss calls out, just as she's walking in the door, her mother following close behind. A delicious smell of roast turkey, baked sweet yams, and cornbread wafts over the two women as they remove their jackets.

"Katniss!" Prim says, running out of the kitchen. "Peeta said I could help him cook! Where've you been?"

There's a rim of something around her upper lip. Katniss chuckles and lifts a hand to touch her sister's mouth.

"Is that what I think it is?" she asks.

"What?" Prim says, swiping at her mouth.

"It's mashed potatoes," Peeta says, coming out of the kitchen. His hair's tousled, as if he's just gotten up from bed.

_But he smells clean, too: like shampoo and soap. And roast turkey. Let's not forget._

_Oh._

"Peeta makes the best mashed potatoes!" Prim says. "He let me try."

"I'm starting a new batch. Since she finished almost everything in one go."

"Prim!" her mother says, shaking her head at her younger daughter. But she's smiling. "Now, Peeta, tell us how we can help."

"Nothing to do," Peeta says. "Please, just get comfortable. Turkey's almost done. And then we feast!"

Katniss's mother smiles. Unexpectedly, she reaches up a hand and pats Peeta's right cheek.

"You remind me so much of your father," Katniss's mother says, before continuing on to the living room, and leaving two stunned young people -- three, counting Katniss -- in her wake.

"What? What was that all about?" Prim asks.

"I'll explain later, Little Duck," Katniss says. "Stop calling me that," Prim says, huffily.

"What?" Katniss says, hurt. "I've always called you Little Duck."

"I know, but -- I'm a young lady now. And Peeta said I could have some wine."

"You're not even 20," Katniss says, with narrowed eyes.

"He let me have a glass already," Prim says.

That must be why she's so flushed. Either that or she got that standing next to Peeta in the kitchen all morning.

Suddenly, they hear their mother gasp. All three run out. Mrs. Everdeen is standing in the dining room, staring at the table. In the very center is a large bouquet of beautiful orange and yellow roses.

"Peeta!" Katniss's mother says, never taking her eyes off the flowers. "You didn't! You shouldn't have! On top of cooking and everything else --"

"I got them," Prim says suddenly. "There's a flower shop on the corner. He said his favorite color was orange."


	37. THANKSGIVING

"How much did you pay for these? I'll take a guess: $50?" Katniss's mother asks her younger daughter, whose face is turning pink.

"Not that much," Prim says. "Peeta gave me a $20, and I made up the difference."

"That's still too much, Prim," Katniss begins.

"It's Thanksgiving," Prim says. "Can we all just relax? He wanted to run out and get some flowers but he had his hands full with the cooking so I offered to do it."

Katniss decides to let it go. Instead, she mutters: "Well, looks like the two of you have been keeping busy."

"You didn't tell us where you were going," Prim says. "Peeta came out of the bedroom, looking really worried."

"You weren't answering your cell," Peeta says to Katniss.

"That's because Mom and I were having a heart to heart," Katniss says.

At that, Peeta's eyebrows quirk upward.

"A heart to heart?" Prim says, sarcastically. "About G--"

"Peeta, where's that cranberry punch we made for Prim?" Katniss interrupts.

"I'll get it," Peeta says, hastily retreating to the kitchen.

* * *

An hour later, Peeta brings the turkey to the table. It's a beautiful golden brown, resting on a nest of parsnips and yams.

"Prim, can you move the flowers?" he asks.

"Sure!" Prim says, jumping up from the couch. She, her mother and Katniss had started watching the Thanksgiving Macy's Day Parade when it was clear they were only making Peeta nervous by hovering around him in the kitchen. "He knows what he's doing," Katniss had said, pulling her sister out.

"I know. Doesn't seem right to have him do all the work, though," Prim points out.

"Girls! Let's just do what he says, all right?" their mother says, settling the matter.

Things don't get any easier when they hear the oven door open; a rich cornucopia of smells wafts out.

"Oh. My. God," Prim said.

"That is just about the most beautiful turkey I've ever seen!" Katniss's mother says.

"Thank you," Peeta says, smiling. "I like to cook."

"So did your father," Katniss's mother says.

Peeta looks confused.

"Wait," Prim says, staring at her mother. "You _know_ Peeta's father?"

"Knew," Peeta says. "My dad passed away several years ago."

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Prim cries.

Peeta shrugs. "It was just before I joined the Army. He had cancer."

"I read about it in the papers," Katniss's mother says, patting Peeta's hand. "I knew your dad in college."

Peeta looks at her in amazement.

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Prim bursts out.

"Because it wasn't important. Until now," Mrs. Everdeen says. "Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't wait to try some of this turkey! Peeta, would you do the honors?"

Everyone sits quietly, watching Peeta carefully arrange slices of turkey on each plate. He spoons a little stuffing and gravy on the slices and follows that up with generous helpings of the roasted parnsips and yams. They pass around the mashed potatoes, the cranberry relish, the steamed brussels sprouts and the corn bread. Just before they tuck in, Katniss's mother says that she wants to say grace, and they all bow their heads.

"Lord," Katniss's mother says. "Thank you for gathering us around this table, for bringing together our little family, and for this magnificent feast. Help us all grow in love and understanding for one another, and may the coming holidays be filled with joy and peace. And, lastly, thank you for Peeta, who's been taking such good care of my daughter -- " she stops suddenly and bites her lip.

Katniss reaches across the table and takes her mother's right hand in hers. Peeta takes Mrs. Everdeen's other hand. He extends his free hand toward Prim and she takes it. They all bow their heads and say, "Amen."

Then Mrs. Everdeen looks up, with a little laugh. "All right! Let's feast!"

For half an hour, there's no other sound than the clink of silverware against melanine plates, and low murmurs of, "Can I have another slice?" or "Can you pass the mashed potatoes?" Or, "More wine."

Finally, Katniss groans and sits back in her chair. "I can't," she says. "I'm going into tryptophan shock."

"Me, too," Prim says. "Are there any mashed potatoes left?"

Katniss shows her the empty bowl, and Prim sighs.

Peeta says, "Don't worry, I'll make a fresh batch for you. Every day."

Prim grins.

"Peeta, that was absolutely delicious!" Katniss's mother says. "The best Thanksgiving meal I've ever had!"

"But we haven't even gotten to the dessert yet," Peeta says, with a laugh.

"He made pumpkin pie," Katniss says. "From scratch!"

"I think, before we get to that, we need to do our annual Everdeen Thanksgiving ritual." Katniss and Prim nod solemnly, and after a few moments, Peeta nods, too.

"Everyone around the table shares a memory about someone who's not able to be with us today. Doesn't have to be a member of the family, just someone we miss and remember with love. Peeta, you don't have to share if you don't want to."

"I want to," Peeta says softly. "I'll share."

"Okay," Katniss's mother says. "Who wants to go first?"

"I will," Katniss says. She swallows. "I miss Dad. He taught me about plants, about everything that grew in the woods. Our weekend camping trips were some of the happiest times of my life."

"I miss Buttercup," Prim says. "I hope Leevy remembered to give him extra treats today, because he sure misses me."

 _The cat_ , Katniss mouths silently to Peeta, with a roll of her eyes.

"I miss my husband," Katniss's mother says. Her voice trembles. "He was the best husband and father a woman could hope for. I miss him every day."

"And I miss my father," Peeta says. "He taught me by example: to love what you do, to be kind, and to be honest. He died too young, but his legacy lives on. In me."

"That it does, Peeta," Katniss's mother says, looking straight at Peeta. "Your father was a prince. I told Katniss as much during our talk, and I don't mind repeating it to you. He was a prince. The world needs more people like him."


	38. TALKING AND SHARING AND . . . STUFF

Katniss and Peeta lie together on the bed, Katniss's head on Peeta's chest. He gently strokes her hair. They'd been discussing Buttercup.

"He's an awful, disgusting creature," Katniss says. "But for some reason, Prim bonded with him."

"I'm looking forward to meeting him someday," Peeta says.

"He's just a stray. I don't know what she sees in him. Seriously."

"Yeah, but your sister loves him. He's got to have some redeeming qualities." Peeta says.

After a moment's silence, Katniss nuzzles Peeta's neck and murmurs, "You're so warm. You're always so warm. Like there's an oven inside you. Did you crack open the window?"

"I did."

She's happy. She thinks she'll always be happy, as long as she can fall asleep with Peeta's arms around her. Her eyes are starting to drift closed. It's been such a long day. But there's something she has to say to Peeta, something important . . .

"Peeta," Katniss whispers. "Thank you for dinner. Mom and Prim were so happy. I've never, let me tell you, seen my Mom take third servings. Never."

Peeta smiles. Katniss raises her face to look at him. With the finger of one hand, she traces his cheek, his jaw . . .

"You look tired. Well, after that production, who wouldn't be?" Katniss presses a kiss to his chest. "Thank you. Just -- thank you so much."

"Katniss," Peeta says, catching her hand and holding it tight against him. "It was nothing. I was happy to share a Thanksgiving meal with your family. They're great."

"Prim adores you," Katniss says. "I think she'll have major withdrawal pangs when it's time for her to leave."

"Well, they're coming back for Christmas, aren't they?"

"They are?" Katniss says.

"Yeah, thought Prim said something about that."

"She did? She did not!"

"No, I'm almost sure she said it."

"Hmmm," Katniss says. "Peeta?"

"Yeah?"

"What you said at dinner, about your Dad . . . "

The hand that's been stroking her hair stills.

"You loved him a lot."

"I did. I do."

"Tell me something else about him. I want to know."

Peeta's still silent.

"I'm sorry," Katniss says. "I just want to know -- everything -- about you."

Peeta turns over on his side, so he can look at her. She can't read the expression on his face. His head rests on one hand, the other's still in her hair.

"It's easier," Peeta says, "if -- you ask questions, all right? Go ahead, ask a question."

"Okay," Katniss says. "Umm. Your mom and your dad, how'd they meet?"

Peeta takes a deep breath. "They met in college. My dad had just broken up with his first girlfriend, who left him for another guy. He was pretty depressed. His friends set him up on a blind date. That's how he met my mom."

"Oh," Katniss says.

 _I know I should tell him about how my mom knew his dad, but I can't. Why can't I? Because it_ _would seem cruel? Because he'll start drawing parallels between himself and his dad? And I can't_ _have that. Never._

Katniss presses a soft kiss to Peeta's lips. "Thank you," she says.

"That's it?" Peeta says, moving himself a little closer. "I was expecting a little more." He drops his head and moves his lips over Katniss's.

"Am I allowed to ask another?" Katniss murmurs.

 _He's such a good kisser. Wonder if his dad -- ugh. No. My mom and his dad. Oh no no no,_ _Katniss. You do not want to go there._

"Sure," Peeta says. His hips are flush with hers now.

_We fit so well. Like puzzle pieces._

"So was it instant chemistry? I mean, during the blind date?"

Peeta laughs and pulls back a little. "No. I don't think so. You're really curious about them, aren't you?"

_No. Yes. I am._

"Well, your dad sounds like such a sweet guy," Katniss says. "And your mom, well, she's a witch. So I'm wondering how you got to be the way you are, and I'm guessing you got your, umm -- character? -- from him."

"My oldest brother was born five months after the wedding. My mom told everyone he was premature, but -- five month-old babies don't have a very good chance of survival. At least, not back then. Doubt anyone believed her."

"Oh."

_Doesn't sound like Peeta's dad at all. Not from what Mom's told me about him._

"Yeah. My mom got my dad on the rebound. And the rest, shall we say, is history."

"Well, I'll always be grateful to your mom for one thing," Katniss says.

"What?"

"For you."

Katniss throws her leg easily over Peeta and he groans.

"And, so -- " Katniss says, gently stroking Peeta with her left hip, feeling him hard and ready.

_But we shouldn't, right? Right?_

"Your brothers? How old and what are their names?" Katniss says.

Instead of answering, Peeta suddenly flips them so he's on top.

_He wrestled in college. It shows._

"That's not fair," Katniss says.

She spreads her legs and Peeta nestles easily between them.

Then she can't speak anymore. Because she wants it, too. She taps him on the shoulder and wordlessly tilts her head toward the bedside table, code for him to open the drawer and get the condoms they store there. He does it quickly.

She moans, long and low, as Peeta enters her. He's panting, and much as she relishes every sound he makes she can't help thinking -- imagining -- he's extra-loud tonight. She says, against his shoulder, "Shhh."

Moments later, though, she can't keep back a cry. This time it's Peeta who puts his hand over her mouth. She buries her face in his shoulder, trying to stifle the sounds she wants to make.


	39. BLACK FRIDAY

"Kaaaaatnissssss!"

Katniss rubs her bleary eyes. God, is it morning already? WTF? Something hits her in the face.

"Peeta, cut it OUT!" she yells.

"Peeta's in the shower," Prim says.

Katniss sits straight up in bed. God, where's her -- nightie? She grasps the bedsheet and raises it to her shoulders. "Prim! What time is it?"

"It's time to get up," Prim says, sitting back. She's seated at the foot of the bed, scanning the rumpled sheets with a knowing glint in her eye.

"Did you see Peeta? I -- "

"Oh yeah, I SAW him," Prim says, then bursts out in a loud peal of laughter. "This room stinks of sex."

"PRIM!!!"

"What? It does. Where are we going today?"

"Didn't you say you wanted to go shopping? It's -- "

"Black Friday. Yeah. And the H & M on Powell opens at 9:30."

Katniss groans. "And of course we have to be there right when it opens."

"Of course," Prim says. "$3 tops. It says so on the website."

"Oh my God, why?" Katniss says. "I feel like I just -- "

"Oh, hey, Prim!" Peeta says, coming into the room. He's got a towel tied around his waist, another one draped around his shoulders.

_Decent, good._

"Peeta!" Prim says, flashing him a brilliant smile.

_I do NOT believe this._

"Okay, Little Duck, OUT," Katniss says.

"Just for that, I'm staying."

"Well, if you are, then Peeta can't get dressed."

"Sure he can! I've seen everything!"

Katniss yells, "OUT!"

Prim fake cries and hops off the bed. "See ya, Peeta! Going with us shopping?"

"Oh, hmm. I might join you in a bit. Got to see a friend first."

"Really?" Katniss says, frowning. "Who friend?"

"Father Haymitch. Did you forget?" Peeta says. "I'm helping him at the soup kitchen today."

"Oh."

I could kick myself.

"Bringing him some of the turkey and stuffing. Text me where you'll be in the afternoon and I'll come join you." He gives Prim a wink.

Prim giggles and practically skips out of the room.

Katniss turns to Peeta and says, "Okay, mister. Cut it out."

"Cut it out?" Peeta bends over her and plants a kiss on her lips. "What am I doing?"

"You're buttering her up. Trying to get on her good side. Making her into an ally."

"An ally! Why would I need Prim as an ally?"

Before Katniss can answer, her phone gives a loud Ping.

Katniss scowls and reaches for it. "Must have forgotten to turn it off last night." She glances at the name of the caller and frowns.

"Who is it?" Peeta asks, too quickly. She also doesn't miss the sidelong glance he directs at the screen before he moves a little farther away, rubbing the towel vigorously over his head.

"Umm," Katniss says.

It's Gale. His text says: FOR OLD TIMES SAKE. BELATED HAPPY THANKSGIVING. SPENDING IT IN SEATTLE WITH THE CLAN. MISS YOU.

_Ugh._

"Ignore him," Peeta says. "He'll get tired eventually and just stop."

_He doesn't know Gale._

She's still holding her phone, staring at Gale's text, when she feels the mattress dip next to her. Peeta puts his arm around her shoulders. "Hey," he says. "Don't let him bring you down. Your mom and your sister are here, and you're going to have fun shopping with them today. H & M, $3 tops, remember? Prim hardly talked of anything else yesterday."

Katniss puts the phone down and looks at Peeta. His blue eyes are filled with concern. "You're right. I'm not going to let him bring me down." She cups Peeta's jaw and kisses him softly. "How do you always find the right words?"

"It's easy to find the right words," Peeta says, kissing her back and tightening his grip around her shoulders, "when I'm with you."


	40. FR. HAYMITCH MEETS THE EVERDEENS

Prim insists on going with Peeta to see Fr. Haymitch.

"I thought you wanted to be at H&M right when it opened," Katniss says, perplexed.

"I'm not that shallow, Katniss," Prim says, rolling her eyes. "DUH."

"Oh, let's go with Peeta," Katniss's mother says. "I'd rather meet a priest than go to H & M first thing on Black Friday. Shopping gives me a headache."

So they all troop together to the church.

Fr. Haymitch was expecting Peeta, but his eyebrows rise when he takes in the whole group.

"Peeta? You didn't say you had family visiting," Fr. Haymitch says.

"This is Katniss's family," Peeta says.

"I'm Prim," Prim says, coming forward and extending a hand.

Katniss and her mother exchange glances.

"Has she been this friendly before?" Katniss hisses to her mother.

"No, not really," her mother says, with a bemused smile.

"And this must be -- Katniss's sister?" Father Haymitch says, extending his hand to Katniss's mother. Mrs. Everdeen takes the proffered hand with a big smile.

_Careful, Mom. At the rate you've been smiling, you're in danger of becoming a -- kewpie doll?_

"I'm Mrs. Everdeen," she says. "Katniss's mother."

"Whoa!" Father Haymitch says, pretending to give Katniss's mother a once-over. "Katniss, I had no idea your Mom was such a dazzling beauty."

"Oh, Father!" Katniss's mother says, giggling.

_Mom is giggling?_

"Well!" Father Haymitch says, rubbing his hands together. "Everyone have a good Thanksgiving?"

"Yes! Peeta cooked!" Prim says.

"Well, aren't you lucky!" Father Haymitch says. "I happen to be very familiar with this young man's cooking, and it's good enough for a restaurant, let me tell you."

"Father Haymitch is a good friend," Peeta says, shrugging.

"He made the turkey," Prim says. "We brought you some. And stuffing."

"Well, well, well. Thank you SO much, Peeta! Looks like we might have more than the usual drop-ins today," Father Haymitch says. Under his breath, he continues, "The police have been clearing Union Square. They have nowhere else to go."

Peeta's face darkens. Mrs. Everdeen looks concerned. Katniss notices that Prim has been carefully following the conversation. Suddenly, she pipes up, "I could help."

"What? No, Prim! I'm sure Father Haymitch and Peeta don't need you getting in the way -- " Katniss interjects.

"I won't be in the way! I can help distribute the food," Prim insists.

Fr. Haymitch watches the exchange with an amused twinkle in his eye. He says, "This your sister, Katniss? She looks more like she could be Peeta's sister!"

_For some reason, Mom begins blushing. I'm so confused!_

"Yes, Prim is my sister. She takes after my Mom," Katniss says. Then adds, unnecessarily, "Obviously."

Peeta glances at her. She detects humor in his eyes.

_He thinks my family is hilarious. Of course he does. They ARE hilarious._

"Well, young lady," Father Haymitch says. "I can tell you have a good heart. And thank you most kindly for the offer of help. But our drop-ins, more than a few are quite a tetchy sort. And after a day like today, they're not in the best of moods. There might be some language not appropriate for a young lady to hear. I suggest you go on with your plans for the day, and I'll send Peeta along as soon as I can."

Prim looks crestfallen. She eventually nods and murmurs, "Okay. It was nice meeting you, Father Haymitch."

"Likewise," Father Haymitch says, grinning. "I know we'll be meeting again."

Finally they arrive at H&M. Luckily, the crowd isn't (yet) overwhelming. But Prim keeps glancing around in a distracted way.

_Another mood swing? What is UP with her?_

"I thought you wanted to check out tops," Katniss says. "Suddenly, you act like you don't even want to be here."

"Can we do karaoke tonight?" Prim asks.

"What?" Katniss says. "You won't be allowed in. They'd card you, and you're not legal."

"Oh, fine," Prim says.

"Are you having your period?" Katniss says.

"Very funny," Prim says.

"I'm serious. You go from happy to bored in about three seconds."

"Where's Mom?" Prim asks.

Katniss sighs. "Trying on some things."

"Mom is trying on some things?"

"Why not? She never tries on things usually?"

"No. Not usually. But now I'm beginning to wonder about something."

"Something, meaning -- what exactly?"

"I think she's met someone," Prim says.

"She did NOT," Katniss says, irrationally disturbed.

"I have my suspicions."

"So, who is it?"

"Someone at the hospital. One of the doctors."

Katniss's eyes narrow. " Come on," she says. "Let's see what Mom's up to."

After 10 minutes of circling, they find their mother at a sale bin for sportswear. She's holding a tiny pair of pink satin shorts in one hand. She colors up when she realizes her daughters have found her.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Katniss hisses.

"What do you think? Shopping for sales. Look, these shorts are going for $5."

"Those are for teenagers," Prim says, frowning.

"Oh," their mother says. She quickly lets go of the shorts.

"I swear, Mom," Prim says, rolling her eyes. "Just get the shorts if you really want them."

"No, honey, I started looking through the bin because of that sign." Their mother points to a red sign that says: Everything in this bin: $5."

"I think you'd look good in pink satin shorts," Prim continues.

"Yeah?" her mother says, a flash of anger in her eyes. "You're constantly reminding me of my age. Like when you convinced me to give away my UGG boots because, according to you, no one over thirty wears them."

* * *

After three hours, they're finally standing on the sidewalk. Their mother is clutching a small bag.

Wonder if she ended up getting those satin shorts?

Prim is proudly showing Katniss her purchases: a white hoodie with a slogan across the front: FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY REPEAT.

"Where shall we have lunch?" their mother asks.

"I'm starving!" Prim says.

"Well," Katniss says, "Peeta told me about this restaurant on Belden Place . . . "

"Peeta!" Prim says. "Is he joining us?"

"He hasn't texted. Maybe later."

Prim looks around. Her eyes land on the middle of the square.

"Ice rink!" she cries. And then: "We can do that later. Tonight, maybe."

"Is Belden Place walking distance?" their mother asks.

"It's not too far," Katniss replies.

"Is it uphill?" their mother asks.

"Yes," Katniss says.

"Then let's just stick to this area," their mother says.

"There's a Cheesecake factory inside Macy's," Katniss says.

"Oooh!" Prim says. "Let's go there."


	41. PEETA MEETS UP WITH THE EVERDEENS

Around 2, Peeta gets a text from Katniss: Hey, are you still coming? We're hanging on to this table until we hear back from you.

He texts: I'm coming.

He looks at Father Haymitch. "Go ahead, boy," the priest says. "I can handle the rest."

They've been dishing soup and turkey for hours. Peeta can't say exactly how many people they've served: 200? Maybe more?

He fights through the crowds in Union Square and takes the escalator to the top floor of Macy's, in his hurry almost knocking over a middle-aged woman with a large shopping bag who's getting off just in front of him. "Hey!" she protests.

"I'm so sorry!" Peeta says, grabbing her elbow to steady her and giving her a brilliant smile.

The woman's frown melts. "It's okay, sweetie," she says. "Nothing happened."

As Peeta turns away, the woman calls after him: "Hope she's worth it!"

A hostess stops him at the entrance to the restaurant. "There'll be at least a half hour wait," she tells him.

"I'm meeting some people," Peeta tells her, his eyes scanning the tables for the Everdeens. The restaurant is packed, and voices are pitched loud.

Is he too late?

"Peeta!" he hears Prim's voice. He spots the Everdeens at the far end of the room, over by the windows. Prim waves.

"Go ahead," the hostess says.

"Wow, you got a great table!" Peeta says, accepting the chair Katniss pulls out for him. "Great view!"

"They wanted to seat us at the bar but I insisted on waiting till we got a table with a view," Katniss says.

"How was shopping?" Peeta asks, leaning over and kissing Katniss lightly on the cheek. He glances up to catch Mrs. Everdeen's eyes on him. The older woman averts her face quickly.

"Have you eaten?" Katniss asks, lightly touching Peeta's cheek.

"No, but I can wait," Peeta says. "What are the plans for after?"

"Waiter!" Mrs. Everdeen calls.

"You don't have to do that," Peeta protests. "There are people waiting -- "

A tall, young man, comes up and acknowledges Peeta with a nod. Turning to Mrs. Everdeen, the waiter asks: "Is your son having lunch or is he just having coffee?"

"He's not my son -- "

"Bring him a menu," Prim says.

"Really, you don't have to -- "

"Stop it, Peeta. We're not going anywhere till you've eaten," Mrs. Everdeen says.

Peeta gives her a grateful smile. He then looks around the restaurant. "Wow, I've never been here before," he says. "Food any good?"

"Try the Chicken Bellagio," Prim says. "It was really good."

"Or the Miso Salmon," Katniss says. "That's good, too."

"I had the avocado egg rolls," Mrs. Everdeen says.

"Avocado egg rolls! I've never had those before," Peeta says.

"It's just an appetizer," Mrs. Everdeen says. "But I wasn't very hungry."

Prim gives her mother a calculating look. "Why are you watching your weight? You're not fat. Not even a little bit."

"I'm not watching my weight," Mrs. Everdeen retorts. "I just feel more energetic if I don't stuff myself."

Prim rolls her eyes.

"What did you buy?" Peeta asks Prim.

"I got a really cute white hoodie," Prim says. "Mom got something, too, but she hasn't told us what it is."

"Oh," Mrs. Everdeen says, making a vague gesture with her hands. "Just some athletic wear. I've joined a gym."

"You HAVE?" Prim says.

"Yes. A month ago. I needed something to work off stress."

"That's a good idea," Peeta says. He turns to Katniss. "And you?"

"I didn't get anything," Katniss says.

"Why not?" Peeta asks, reaching for her hand.

"Didn't see anything I liked," Katniss says. "I'm just not into shopping."

"Well," Peeta says, squeezing her hand. "We've got to fix that."

_My gorgeous girlfriend. I've got to get her something. A bracelet? A necklace?_

When the waiter returns, Peeta orders the Miso Salmon. The waiter asks if any of the others want dessert.

"Honestly, I'd rather have your pumpkin pie, Peeta," Prim says.

Peeta turns a bright red as the waiter looks him over. "Oh," the waiter says, amused. "You've got a fan. How nice."

Now it's Prim's turn to blush. She doesn't say anything more, only asking if they can watch the ice skaters afterwards.

* * *

  
The way out takes them through the jewelry section.

"Hey, just a sec," Peeta says, tugging on Katniss's hand. She looks at him, eyebrows raised. "There's something I want to show you," Peeta says.

"Mom!" Prim calls. Mrs. Everdeen's almost to the door, but she turns when she hears Prim call out. "Wait up! Peeta wants to look at something."

"Why don't you and your Mom go ahead, Katniss and I will catch up," Peeta says hurriedly. "Just tell us which side of the rink you're gonna be on? Stockton or Geary?"

Prim throws Katniss a sidelong glance and then shrugs. "Sure. Mom and I will text when we're -- situated." She gives Peeta a half-wave and takes her mother's arm. Mrs. Everdeen looks confused but she allows Prim to lead her out of the store.

Peeta lets out a sigh of relief.

"What's this about, Peeta?" Katniss says. "You know I don't wear jewelry."

"I know," Peeta says. "But there's something I want to show you. Please. Indulge me for a bit."

"Okay," Katniss says doubtfully.

Peeta steers her to a counter with gleaming gold and silver jewelry. Katniss looks down hesitantly.

"These look expensive," she says.

"75% off," Peeta says.

"I know, but -- are those real diamonds?"

"Of course they are!" says a smooth, male voice. Katniss looks up. A dark man with a thin moustache is gazing at her with an unctuous smile.

"We're just looking," she says quickly.

"Look as much as you want!" the man says. "If you want to take a closer look, I'd be happy to take anything out of the case for you."

"How about those bracelets?" Peeta asks. He points to a row of thin, black bands -- rope of some kind? -- woven through delicate diamonds in figure 8s, hearts, hummingbirds, circles.

"Any particular one you'd like to see?" the salesman asks. "The lady can try them on, if she wishes."

"Oh, no, no," Katniss demurs, putting up a hand.

"What about that one, with the entwined hearts?" Peeta says.

"Excellent choice!"

"Peeta!" Katniss hisses. "Don't be crazy. Those are -- "

"75% off this weekend," the man says. "Mark-down price is only $380."

Katniss blanches but Peeta says, "Try it on, Katniss."

The salesman delicately pulls the bracelet off its stand. Katniss hesitantly stretches out a wrist and the salesman gently -- ever so gently -- drapes the bracelet over it. The diamonds seem to wink in the overhead light. "It's beautiful," Katniss whispers. "But I don't know, Peeta, I'm just not -- a jewelry-wearing person, I guess."

"You have very delicate wrists," the salesman says. "For you, thin bracelets work best."

Peeta seems dissatisfied. His eyes pore over the contents of the jewelry counter again. "What about earrings?" he says. "Can we see those?" Katniss looks down to see what Peeta is pointing at. A pair of diamond studs.

The salesman reaches into the case again. "Your boyfriend has excellent taste," he tells Katniss. "These are also 75% off. That makes them just $1000."


	42. MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

"Did I do something wrong, Katniss?" Peeta asks as they're leaving the store. The salesman tried to pitch a lay-away plan, but Katniss put her foot down and eventually managed to drag Peeta away.

"Of course not," Katniss says, "It's really sweet, your wanting to give me something. No one's ever given me jewelry before."

_No, that's a lie. Gale gave me -- no! Stop! Don't think about Gale!_

Katniss bites her lip.

"It's okay," Peeta says abruptly. "There they are." He smiles and waves at Prim. Prim waves excitedly back. Peeta hurries toward her. Katniss follows, feeling doubtful and unsure.

"Peeta." She tugs at his arm. "I don't need things like that. I'm happy. You give me that."

He doesn't respond. Instead, he lets go of her hand as they near the corner where Prim and her mother stand. Katniss tugs fretfully at her earlobes.

_Is he mad at me? I think he's mad at me._

She gives his arm a hard yank.

"Peeta. Stop. Hear me out."

He stops and turns his head. Not all the way.

_He looks a little -- leery?_

"We are not going to fight about this, right?" she asks. "Because it's so not important. Jewelry. BLING."

Peeta turns fully to face her. Behind his left shoulder, she can see Prim, wondering what is happening.

"Why can't I show you? Why can't I do things for you? Why won't you LET me do things for you?" Peeta says. His voice is pitched a little higher than normal.

_What is happening?_

Peeta's cheeks are flushed with more than just the cold.

Katniss gasps. "I do! I let you cook, I let you buy me flowers, I let you do A LOT of things for me. You SPOIL me. I feel so guilty sometimes. No, most of the time. I'm still getting used to it. Having someone like you."

"Someone like me," Peeta repeats, frowning. "What does that mean?"

Katniss touches his cheek. "Someone who's kind. And good. And brave. Someone who picked up a broken girl, and -- "

"KAT-NISS!" Prim calls out.

"We'll talk later, okay?" Katniss says hurriedly. "Tonight. When we're by ourselves."

Peeta's glance is diffident, but he nods.

"Peeta!" Prim calls, from right behind him. Peeta turns quickly. "Hey!" he says, giving Prim a brotherly hug. "Why aren't you skating?"

"You have to reserve a time," Prim says. "It's okay. Mom won't skate, and it's no fun skating alone anyway."

"I'll fall," Katniss's mother says, appearing so unexpectedly beside them Katniss blinks. "I haven't ice skated in years."

"You won't fall," Peeta says. "Come on. I'll skate with you."

* * *

Peeta starts with his mouth on Katniss's right nipple, then moves to her left. Again she moans. Again he has to lift his hand and cover her mouth.

She wants to bite his hand. It's too much. But they have to be careful about the sounds they make.

First she hovered over him, laving him with her tongue. His hands crept to her hair and pulled her forward.

"I don't know how we can -- " she says.

"We can," he says. "We can. Just. We'll be quiet."

They try to be, anyway.

After, they collapse on their backs, side by side, chests heaving. When her breathing finally slows, Katniss rolls over to face him. "Okay," she says. "Now we talk."

Peeta glances at her. "I need a minute."


	43. WE'RE STILL GOING TO HAVE TO TALK

Katniss lifts herself and places her ear against Peeta's chest, listening to the strong and steady beat of his heart.

Then Peeta turns on his side so they're facing each other. His hands slip behind Katniss's back and hold her, and she follows suit. They kiss again, a kiss that goes on for a long time. It's Peeta that finally takes a breath and pulls back.

Katniss looks at him: in the dark, she can still make out his straight nose, his lower lip, his jaw. When she lifts her eyes, Peeta's are taking her in and she feels so completed she wonders why they even have to have this talk; can't they just make love again, bruise again, can't she just keep saying his name over and over again -- _Peeta, Peeta, Peeta_ \-- because that's all she really needs, just him.

She runs her fingertips down over his belly, feels his hardness growing again.

The room is so warm: she kicks off the bedsheets that are tangled around her legs.

"Katniss?"

She gives her head a little shake. She's thinking of a few moments ago, when he placed his large hand over her mouth, trying to calm her panting. Did she really bite him? It was just a little nip. He winced, slightly, but didn't remove his hand.

She lifts her face and nips at his earlobe.

His breath is warm against her neck. The way he holds her. The way he looked earlier, when she was riding him.

And suddenly, they're back at the jewelry counter, and they're not alone. There's a man with a thin moustache. He's holding up a delicate bracelet, draping it over her wrist. She's looking down at it. She can feel Peeta's eyes on her. Her words clog in her throat. All she can really do is gasp.

The man keeps talking. His voice is like a river. She herself is like a rock, the water of the other man's voice eddying around her. She's standing next to Peeta but she feels him so very far away. It hurts to have him next to her but to feel him so far away.

_Where are you, Peeta? What did we do? Please, say you'll never leave me!_

It was when Gale gave her the ring that she started to break apart.

That's when she knew, the thing with Gale wasn't real. All those years they were together, only to realize at the end: it wasn't real.

Will that happen with Peeta?

No, she can't lose him. She won't.

And that's when the rain starts -- she can hear the sound clearly, through the windows that Peeta always leaves open just a crack. The sound pulls her back into the room, back to herself, back to him. She takes a deep breath. This is the man she plans to spend the rest of her life with. She knows, there will be no other.

And then she hears him, his voice just audible over the sound of the rain: "I think I understand, Katniss. Why you didn't feel comfortable at the jewelry counter. And I'm sorry I put you on the spot."

"No, Peeta," Katniss says softly. "It wasn't that. It's just -- do you really feel you need to prove something to me? When all I want is here, right here." She rests her hand over Peeta's chest. This is what she needs, the feel of Peeta's heart beating beneath her hand, steady and strong.

Peeta reaches down, folds her hand in his, then raises it to his lips. He kisses her hand, softly. She smiles, and after a moment, she feels him smile, too. He keeps her hand in his when he says, "Katniss, are there ever times, do you ever ask yourself, what are you doing? Because I have moments like that."

_He sounds so -- defeated, almost. What does he mean?_

Katniss listens, heart in her throat. Peeta opens his mouth, as if he's going to say more. But he doesn't. Her body's suddenly cold. Her chest hurts. It's a sharp, very real pain.

The mattress shifts and for one wild moment she thinks --

He's going to get out of bed.

She pulls her hand out of his, hastily, as if she knows what's coming and it's going to burn her.

She can see his face a little better now. Maybe it's the moon or the streetlight outside or the rain stopping and clouds parting. She watches wordlessly as he blinks, slowly (like a man waking up from a daze) and finds herself mesmerized by those ridiculously long eyelashes of his, those eyelashes that make him look almost feminine, if you didn't clearly see how beneath his clothes his body is firm and strong. For some reason, Katniss wants to kiss him again.

Peeta reaches for her. He moves the middle finger of one hand over her wrist and she shivers. It's such a simple gesture. But it almost unmoors her.

"Katniss," he says, "you have no idea who I really am."

Her initial response is to flinch, as though she's been slapped. But she bites down her fear.

"Then, who are you, really, Peeta?" she says, as calmly as she can. "I'd like to know."

"You really would?" Peeta says.

"Yes, I would."

He's quiet for a bit, then leans over and kisses her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, one hand holding  
her just beneath her rib cage, the other stroking her hair.


	44. AND STILL MORE TALKING

"Katniss, I love you, you know that, don't you?" Peeta murmurs into her hair.

She nods. She thinks of that word, LOVE. She knows she loves Peeta, really loves him, but she hasn't told him that in a couple of weeks.

Now, she wraps both her hands around Peeta's wrists and stills him. "I know that. And you know I love you, too. Right?"

"I think I know that," Peeta says.

"You don't sound very sure," Katniss says. "Do you think I would be doing this with you, if I didn't love you?"

"No, I'm sorry, of course I don't think that. I think, though, there are times I wonder if you'd be better off with someone else -- someone more stable."

"Stable, meaning -- "

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"I mean, someone with a steady job -- "

"You're getting there, Peeta. It's not like you're just sitting on your hands. You've gotten two gigs with Cinna, and are about to get another. Speaking of Cinna, I really hope I get to meet him, soon."

"Sure!" Peeta says. "I'll mention it to him next week. We're supposed to meet to discuss my next gig. You'll like him. He's very low-key."

They lie quietly for a few moments. Then, Peeta says, "Being with you makes me want to be a better person. You know? I want to find a steady job, shower you with diamonds -- "

"Ah-ah. Not diamonds," Katniss says. "We've been over this."

"Okay, well, sorry, not diamonds. How about dinner at the Fairmont?"

"The Fairmont? On Nob Hill? Again, no. You know what I'd really like? There's a place on the Great Highway, across from Ocean Beach . . . "

"You mean the Beach Chalet? I know it! A friend of mine used to work there."

"So how about there? We can go there at sunset, get a table overlooking the mighty Pacific ocean, sip Mai Tais . . . "

"Sounds great," Peeta murmurs, bending down and kissing her.

Katniss feels a quickening hunger, and she thinks Peeta feels it, too. They make love again, quickly, and then she feels like she's floating, imagining her limbs are like water and someone is there, murmuring into her ear, and pulling a sheet over her body and when she next opens her eyes, she's alone in the bed, the sun's coming in through the slats in the blinds, and she hears, far off, the sound of the shower. Her eyes close again, a fog of exhaustion making her doze off again, and then she feels the mattress dip and raises her head, and she sees her sister there. She smiles at Prim, but for the first time this visit, Prim looks sad. Katniss sits straight up and says, "Prim! What's wrong? What's the matter?" And her sister says, "Katniss, I don't want to leave."

Peeta comes back from the shower, and it reminds Katniss of a scene just a few days earlier -- Prim's first morning in San Francisco, when she came bounding into the room, so happy and excited. It's hard to believe their visit is almost over.

"Hey, Prim," Peeta says easily.

"Hey," Prim says, disconsolate.

Peeta doesn't pick up on her dampened mood because he continues, in the same cheery tone, "So, what are we doing today?"

"I don't know," Prim says, shrugging. "I don't care."

That's when Peeta finally picks up on her mood. His face is grave, but instead of saying anything, he just opens a drawer, takes a t-shirt, grabs a pair of jeans from the closet, and heads back out to change in the bathroom.

"We could go to the Asian Art Museum?" Katniss says.

_Ulterior motive: Peeta's been wanting to see the exhibit on The Ramayana._

"It doesn't matter. Sure," Prim says.

"Li-- " Katniss begins, then stops. "Prim, you told Peeta you were coming back on Christmas . . .  
"  
"I know, but Mom talked to me and said no, she can't make it. She said I could go by myself, but I can't. It wouldn't -- feel right. Can't you and Peeta come up to Seattle? It would be so sad not to see each other for the holidays!"

Katniss stares at her younger sister. There's so much hope on Prim's face that Katniss is momentarily at a loss. Before she can respond, though, Peeta returns. He sits on the bed next to Prim. He looks concerned. Katniss wonders if he heard the last part of the conversation.

"Or we could just walk around, we don't have to go to a museum," he says.

"No," Prim says. "I want to see The Ramayana exhibit."

Katniss can't help the rueful smile that appears on her face. Her sister is a true Everdeen woman, no mistake.

They end up spending the day walking around Chinatown. Peeta buys a whole duck; he says he'll cook it for dinner. He takes a picture of Prim, Katniss and their mother standing in front of the Dragon's Gate. They have a quick lunch of spring rolls, fried rice and mu-shu pork at a tiny restaurant with just six tables. Peeta teases Katniss about the way she holds her chopsticks. After, they get mochi from a place on Grant called Dragon Papa. Katniss buys her sister and her mother silk scarves. Prim chooses a bright pink scarf with a pattern of white peonies. Her mother chooses one that is a vivid blue-green. Peeta tries to get Katniss to get one for herself, but she says she has two good scarves already. Peeta takes pictures of Prim and her mother wearing the new scarves, in front of a store that sells Chinese lanterns.

By the time they finally head back to the apartment, Prim's happy and smiling.

Prim chatters away as they walk and Katniss is so distracted that she doesn't notice the man waiting for them at the entrance to her building, not until they're only a block away. She and Peeta are holding hands; he doesn't notice the man either. Not until they're too close to do anything other than greet him.

When Gale turns toward them, his face has that stormy look that Katniss knows so well. His lips are chapped and he's got both hands stuck into the pockets of his jeans, as if he's cold.

"Catnip," Gale says. His head jerks back when his eyes land on Peeta. It's strange how Peeta causes this physical reaction. But he gives Peeta a small nod of acknowledgment, at least.

_Well, that's progress. I think?_

Suddenly, Katniss feels a firm grip on her left arm, the one on the other side from Peeta. Her mother moves forward, putting herself between Gale and Katniss, almost as if she wants to shield her daughter.

Katniss turns her head anxiously, looking for Prim, until she sees that her younger sister has moved to Peeta's other side.

"Hello, Gale," her mother says evenly.


	45. NO, HE DIDN'T

From the looks of it, Gale's been standing there awhile. It's chilly, which probably accounts for the flush in his cheeks as he approaches their little group.

He comes closer and closer, only coming to a halt when Mrs. Everdeen steps out in front of Katniss. Gale's eyes wander uneasily from Katniss to Peeta to Mrs. Everdeen to Prim. "Hey, how's everyone doing?" he says, probably having decided that brazening out is the best strategy. "Looks like you all went -– “

"I thought you were in Seattle,” Katniss bursts out.

Gale gets a distant look in his eyes. "I was. Flew back this morning. Got to prepare for work on Monday.” His eyes briefly flick over Peeta before turning back to Katniss. “Mom was asking about you, Catnip. She says hello.”

Katniss feels Peeta begin to pull away, but she grips his hand tighter.

“That’s nice. Tell your mom I said hello back," Katniss grits out.

"Tell Hazelle I'll call her in a few days," her mother adds, placing a calming hand on Katniss's shoulder as they both edge forward, toward the building entrance.

But Katniss doesn't miss the way Peeta reacts to the tone of familiarity in her mother's voice.

_Of all the rotten luck --_

"Well, we’ve got to get this duck inside,” Katniss says, motioning to the plastic bag dangling from Peeta’s hand. “Nice seeing you.”

“Duck?” Gale says, looking confused.

“Peeta’s cooking for us tonight,” Prim pipes up. “We went to Chinatown and he’s going to prepare us roast duck.”

“Oh, I see,” Gale says, keeping his face perfectly blank. “That’s nice. I won’t hold you guys up. Glad I caught you, Mrs. E, Prim.” He starts to walk away, a crestfallen look on his face.

“You’re welcome to join us --“ Peeta says, then falters. Katniss squeezes Peeta's hand so hard he actually winces. “Unless, uh -- you probably have other plans.”

“Other plans?" Gale says quickly. "No, actually, I have nowhere else to be right now, and it would be nice to get caught up with all of you. Thanks, Peeta! Can’t say I’m a duck man myself – I’ve had goose, but not duck. Still, I’ll give it a go. Anything to spend more time with the Everdeens!” Gale gleefully rubs his hands together. Katniss has to suppress bile rising in her throat. She clutches Peeta's arm and hurries him along, while Gale, her mother and Prim bring up the rear. They're all silent as they climb the one flight of stairs to the apartment.

Katniss bitterly regrets the sudden change of atmosphere: at one moment, they were happy, enjoying their last evening together. The next, Gale was there, acting like an old friend of the family. And Peeta -- Peeta had felt so bad about turning him away that he'd called out to him and invited him for dinner.

Katniss doesn't see any way the evening can end well.

* * *

They all shuffle into the apartment, and Peeta immediately retreats to the kitchen. "I'll go see if he wants any help," Prim says, taking off after him. Her mother excuses herself and proceeds to the bathroom. Katniss takes a deep breath, turns and faces Gale. He's looking around the apartment with an intense brightness in his eyes, almost as if he's seeing it for the first time.

"What?" Katniss says, curtly.

"Looks different," Gale says.

"I haven't changed anything," Katniss says.

Gale smiles, the tightness that was in his face on the sidewalk completely vanishing. He removes his jacket. "Mind if I have a drink?" he asks.

"You're not really planning on staying for dinner?" Katniss hisses.

"Why not?" Gale asks, widening his eyes in mock innocence. "He --"

_He never can bring himself to even say the name._

"Peeta," she prompts.

"Right," Gale says. "HE invited me."

"Peeta invited you, he was just being polite. If you had any manners you'd have made up an excuse and left."

They stare angrily at each other.

_I remember this. And I don't like it._

Suddenly, Peeta's out of the kitchen. He's standing there, the apex of a triangle. "Everything cool?" he asks, keeping his eyes on her.

"Yeah, we're good," Katniss says. "I'll get us some wine."

She turns and heads to the kitchen. She expects Peeta to follow right behind her. It's only when she pulls out a chilled bottle of white from the fridge that she notices he's not in the kitchen with her. She rushes back to the living room. The two men are standing facing each other, mimicking her stance of a few minutes earlier.

"Peeta," Katniss says. He doesn't turn toward her. "Peeta!" she says, in a sharper tone. "I need your help. Could you find the wine glasses?"

"I have them," Prim says, brushing past Katniss and heading toward the dining table.

* * *

Somewhere around her third glass, Katniss looks desperately toward the kitchen. "Duck ready?" she asks.

Peeta's voice floats over from the kitchen: "Nope!"

"Duck takes time," Gale says, smiling devilishly into his wine glass.

"-- such bullshit," Katniss says, unsteadily getting to her feet. "I need some air."

"Good," Gale says, getting up as well. "I need to stretch my legs."

"Don't even _think_ of following me," Katniss grits out.

* * *

Katniss stands on the sidewalk, taking in big lungfuls of air. Her cheeks are wet.

_What? When did I start to cry?_

"Katniss!" a voice says from behind her.

Katniss turns. It's her mother.

"The world keeps spinning, Mom," Katniss says. "And I just don't know what to do."

"Baby," her mother says, opening her arms. "Whatever you do, don't look back. Don't ever look back."

Katniss rests her head on her mother's shoulder.

_Don't let go._

She cries so much it feels like she's literally emptying out her tear ducts. Her mother pats her back.

"Now, let's go back inside. Peeta needs our help. He needs YOU."

Katniss nods and swipes hastily at her eyes. "Got any kleenex?" she asks.

* * *

Katniss's mother raises her wine glass. "I'd like to propose a toast," she says.

"Sure!" Gale says. "What are we toasting to?"

"We're toasting the wonderful young man who prepared this dinner." Katniss watches Peeta blush, while Gale takes a long pull of his wine.

* * *

They're about halfway through their meal when Peeta says, hesitantly: "Umm, Mrs. Everdeen? There's something I've been meaning to ask you. You mentioned you knew my father . . . "

"Yes," Katniss's mother says. She puts her fork down and rests both hands in her lap. "We attended the same high school. Roosevelt."

"Huh," Peeta says, smiling. "That's amazing."

"What about you, Peeta?" Katniss's mother asks. "Where did you go to high school?"

"West Seattle," Peeta says. "And, Katniss? Where did _you_ go to high school?"

"Ballard," Katniss says.

"That's where we went," Gale puts in, gesturing between himself and Katniss.

_Shut the fuck up, creep!_

"Hmm," Peeta says, and resumes cutting up his food.

"And then," Katniss's mother says, "Tom -- Peeta's dad -- and I attended the same college."

"Wow!" Peeta says. "High school and then college, too?"

"Yes," Katniss's mother says. "We knew each other well. We were -- good friends."

"And how did you meet Mr. Everdeen?" Peeta asks. "Was he in the same college, too?"

"Choir," Katniss says.

"Excuse me?" Peeta says, a bemused look coming over his face."

"It was in choir. That's how my mom and dad met."

Peeta nods and says, as if to himself, "So, both Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen were in the choir . . . "

"No, just my dad was," Katniss says.

Peeta quirks an eyebrow.

Katniss says, "My mom and your dad went together to a performance, and my dad was in the choir."

"Oh, I get it," Peeta says, a small smile on his lips. "So, love at first sight?"

A dreamy look steals into Mrs. Everdeen's eyes. "Yes as a matter of fact," she says softly, glancing between Peeta and Katniss, "it was."

* * *

"More wine, anyone?" Katniss says. Her words come out sounding like _Shmah Waahn._

Prim gesticulates. "Over here," Prim says.

* * *

Katniss brings a pile of dishes to the kitchen and dumps them in the sink. As she runs the hot water over them to soak, she releases a shaky breath. "Oh my God," she mutters.

"Here's more!" Prim chirps, coming up right behind her.

"And STILL more!" Peeta says, following close on Prim's heels.

"Unfff!" Mrs. Everdeen says, bringing up the rear. "That was fabulous, Peeta! Now, who's up for a final shopping run?"

"I have a headache," Katniss grumbles.

Peeta comes up behind her and wraps both arms around her waist. "Come on," he says. "You deserve a break. We all do."

Katniss hears the pleading tone in Peeta's voice. She turns, stands on tiptoe, and presses a soft kiss on his lips. "All right," she says. "As long as we do this together."

Peeta tightens his arms around Katniss and they begin swaying back and forth as if they're listening to music, some music only the two of them can hear.

Mrs. Everdeen taps Prim on the shoulder and tilts her head silently towards the door. Prim nods. Without another word, Mrs. Everdeen and her younger daughter leave the kitchen. Prim turns once: Katniss and Peeta are still swaying in each other's arms, eyes closed, holding on tight.


	46. GALE AND MRS. E

"Katniss -- " Gale says, looking up. He's been sitting by himself in front of the TV. It's tuned to a game, but the sound is turned off. He's not watching. Instead, his eyes dart behind Mrs. Everdeen and Prim, towards the kitchen. He swallows.

"I think you should know," he says to the older woman. "He's not what he seems."

"Oh?" Mrs. Everdeen says, sitting down on the couch next to Gale. She shakes her head and keeps her eyes down. "So why don't you tell us, Gale. Tell us what he is."

"Did Katniss tell you he was homeless?" Gale says.

Mrs. Everdeen tilts her head. Gale can tell this information comes as a surprise. He was right: Katniss would never tell her mother.

"The first time I met him, they walked into the apartment, holding hands. I was shocked. Katniss had never even mentioned him. It was about two months after she moved to San Francisco. I started asking around about him, and J -- a mutual friend -- told me he was homeless."

Mrs. Everdeen doesn't say anything.

"I think he's taking advantage of her."

"She loves him," Mrs. Everdeen says, finally. "I'm sorry, Gale, but it's time to move on. You have to let her go."

Prim stands next to her mother, fidgeting. "Mom?" she says. "Ummm -- can I step out for a bit?"

Mrs. Everdeen shakes her head. "This won't take long," the older woman says. She turns back to Gale. "He's a good man."

"Just hear me out, please?" Gale says.

Mrs. Everdeen sighs. She looks at Prim, who's still standing there, staring at her mother. "Okay, Prim, I'll let you go out by yourself. But be back in half an hour. You have your phone? Keep it on. If you're not back in half an hour, I'm filing a missing persons report."

Prim nods. She quickly slips out the door.

When Prim is safely gone, Gale continues: "His family owns that bakery. Mellarks? It didn't make sense, why he'd be here, living on the street. So I went on-line and did a google search on him. Turns out he's been cut off by the family. The mother said in an article that he was difficult and moody, suffered from bi-polar disorder, but refused to get therapy. So they just washed their hands of him. That's why he left the family bakery so abruptly and came here."

"When I went home for Thanksgiving, I dropped by the bakery. One of his brothers was there and we started to talk. His brother says no one speaks of him. He quit the family business last year without giving them any notice. It was the middle of the peak holiday season. Then they found out (through a third party) that he was pastry chef for a bakery here in San Francisco. They don't care what happens to him anymore. He's completely a non-person to them."

Mrs. Everdeen looks down at her lap and sighs. Gale rushes on: "Here, he's been hanging out with drug addicts, pushers. He could have got himself cleaned up, but he didn't. He liked living on the street, scoring drugs. He's not the kind of man you want hanging around Katniss."

At that point, Mrs. Everdeen puts up a hand. "Gale, stop it. Just -- stop it. I won't tolerate this kind of nonsense any more. I took your calls because I was worried about Katniss and she seemed so unhappy. But now, I've come to know Peeta. And I respect him. Which, I'm sorry to say, is not what I feel for YOU."

Gale seems undeterred:

"You don't have to believe me, but I printed out some articles I found on-line. I got copies of them here, if you want to take a look," he starts reaching for his jacket, which he's flung on the back of the couch.

Mrs. Everdeen shakes her head. "I don't want to see them," she says. "I don't need to see them."

"Somehow, he's found a way to get under her skin," Gale says. "She was lonely, and he saw how vulnerable she was. I'm just looking out for her. I still love her, Mrs. E."

"You broke her heart, Gale," she says. "Even now, it's breaking her, what you did. She's grieving, and that boy is helping her. They're helping each other." She pauses. "It broke my heart too, even. My daughter doesn't open her heart easily, but she opened it to you. And what did you do? You crushed it into tiny pieces, stomped all over her. And now that she's beginning to come back to herself, you want to come back into her life, thinking everything can just be forgiven and forgotten? Oh, I don't think so. I think it's time for you to leave, Gale."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Mrs. Everdeen," Gale says. He stands. "I know it's over between Katniss and me," his voice breaks a little. "I know it's my fault. But I still care about her. I would hate to have her hurt -- by him. All I'm saying is, don't trust him. He has secrets."

Gale has to pass the kitchen on his way out and for just a moment, he hesitates. Like he's tempted to go into the kitchen and say something to Katniss himself. But he doesn't. He straightens his shoulders. He keeps going. He closes the door quietly behind him.

 _Good_ , Mrs. Everdeen thinks.

She sits by herself for a few minutes, looking pensive. Then she lifts her gaze to the bright bouquet of orange and yellow roses Prim bought, Thanksgiving day. The flowers have held up pretty well. It seems Peeta has charmed not just Katniss, but her sister as well. _Even, perhaps, me_ , Mrs. Everdeen thinks.

"Katniss!" Mrs. Everdeen calls, then waits. After a few moments, her older daughter's voice floats over from the kitchen. "Yeah, Mom?"

"Could you ask Peeta to go get Prim? I told her she could have half an hour to walk around by herself, but I'd feel so much better if Peeta could go get her." There are a few moments silence. "He's gone, by the way."

Katniss emerges from the kitchen. Ah! Mrs. Everdeen thinks. Katniss's lips are plump and swollen. Peeta follows a few moments later, his hair tousled and his lips equally swollen. My God, Mrs. Everdeen thinks. She remembers Peeta's father. He was a good-looking man. But he has nothing on the son. Peeta's far more good-looking than his father ever was. And that means -- he could also be dangerous.

Mrs. Everdeen shakes her head, determinedly trying to clear it of Gale's poison.

"Mom wants you to go get Prim," Katniss says to Peeta.

"Sure," Peeta says, running a hand quickly through his hair. "Any idea where she might have headed?"

"I think you might try the skating rink," Mrs. Everdeen says.

Peeta pulls his jacket from the hall closet. Katniss puts a hand on his arm. "I'll come along," she says.

"No. Katniss? Let him go," her mother says. "You and I are going to have a talk."

"I'll be back soon," Peeta tells Katniss, and leans forward to place a soft kiss on her lips. He glances back at Mrs. Everdeen, gives her a small smile, then leaves.

Katniss walks toward her mother, her eyes alight with an unexpected fire.

Katniss thinks: _If she asks why I didn't mention that Peeta was homeless for a while, I'll tell her there's no shame in it. He made do. He didn't go running back to his family. He survived._

_I'll tell her about Cinna: Peeta's two gigs, and the one coming up._

_I'll say that I love him: that I love his gentleness and his kindness. And I'll tell her that one day, I want to have his children -- yes, a whole houseful of his children._

_No! Where am I going with this? What is happening to me?_

"Katniss," her mother says. She reaches out a hand to her daughter. "Come here."

* * *

_Where are they?_

Katniss pushes herself through the crowd around the skating rink on Union Square. It's only 6 p.m., but already full dark. The tall Christmas tree is fully lit. Katniss traces the lights all the way to the red star at the very top, and sees the moon, just to the right of the star. It's a full moon, wreathed in tendrils of cloud.

_Oh!_

She hears Peeta's rich laugh, and Prim's unmistakable giggle. She turns her head sharply. The two are chatting merrily away, not really watching the skaters at all. They're each holding cups of something that steams in their faces and makes Katniss remember old Christmases, long ago Christmases, when her father was still alive, when she and Prim wore their hair in identical hairstyles (long, with one thin braid at the crown) and matching Christmas sweaters.

"Is that hot chocolate?" she asks, and both Peeta and Prim look up, startled.

"That was a quick talk," Peeta says. The way he smiles at her makes her bend down and plant a sweet kiss on his mouth.

"I missed you," Katniss says.

"Please don't say we have to go back right away," Prim pleads. "It's my last night."

"Mom's taking a nap. We don't have to rush back," Katniss says. She reaches for Peeta's hand and links it with hers.

_His hand is so warm._

She presses a kiss to the back of Peeta's hand. She looks at Prim, who quickly turns her head away, as if she's been caught looking at -- what?

"Where'd you get the hot chocolate?" Katniss asks, burrowing into Peeta's side.

"Back there," he says. "I'll get you some."

"No," Katniss says, hanging on to him. "You just stay right there."

Peeta presses a kiss to the top of her head and whispers, "So, how'd it go?"

Katniss sighs. "Just about as I expected," she says. She grabs Peeta's chin and turns his face towards her. "I told her I was truly, madly, deeply in love with you." They kiss, long and sweet.

Prim jumps up and says, looking down at the couple: "I've never seen so much kissy stuff from my sister, honestly, Peeta. It's like she's been hijacked by -- a Christmas reindeer or something."

There's that rich laugh of Peeta's again. He jumps up and says to Prim, "Hey, come here" and tackles her in a bear hug. She squeals and people look at them but after Peeta's folded Prim into his side, she sort of collapses into him and makes a sound almost like a sob. Katniss's face stills as she looks at her little sister.

_Oh, no._

* * *

They come into the apartment chattering and Katniss tells Peeta and Prim to be quiet: "Mom's asleep."

"No, I'm not asleep," comes her mother's tired voice. The lights are off and the living room couch has been opened up and the TV's on.

"What are you watching?" Katniss asks.

"I don't know," Katniss's mother says. "Some re-run. I think it's _The Big Bang Theory_. Or, no, it's _Modern Family_."

"Mom," Katniss says, picking up the remote and clicking on the TV listings. "There's quite a big difference between _The Big Bang Theory_ and _Modern Family_. You really can't tell the difference?"

Her mother covers up a yawn with her hand. "Well, watch what you like. Lord! I can't believe we're going back home tomorrow."

Peeta suddenly jumps into the bed next to Katniss's mother. "Hey, this looks comfy. Mind if I join you?"

Katniss's mother stares at him with her mouth open.

"Don't mind if I do," Katniss says, jumping into the bed on her mother's other side.

Prim jumps in last, landing over her mother's feet.

"Ouch!" Mrs. Everdeen says. "What is going on?"

"It's called TV night," Katniss says, stifling a yawn herself. When she looks over at Peeta, his blue eyes are fastened on her. There is such intensity in his gaze; it makes her shiver.

* * *

Katniss is drifting off when Peeta bends over her and says, "Hey, did I tell you about the time I met a hypnotist?"

She tries to decipher his expression in the dark, but she can't. He's looking down at her. His voice is so serious.

"Seriously?" She is really, really tired. But she flings one leg over Peeta's hip anyway.

"Yeah. It was when I first started living on the street. There was this woman. She could tell I was stressed or something. I met her in a laundromat. And she said she could hypnotize me into being calm. Relaxed."

"Yeah, right," Katniss says, suddenly remembering a time long ago: the older woman who'd asked Peeta to fuck her for $500. "Well, did you?"

Peeta trails kisses down the side of her neck, across her collarbone. His hands measure her small breasts.

"Umm," Katniss says. "Did you?"

"No," Peeta says. "Why would I?"

"Oh," Katniss says. "Then why are you telling me this story?"

Peeta stills for a moment. "I'm not sure, exactly." He lowers his head and blazes kisses across her breasts and down her navel, and lower still. She clutches his hair and tries to pull his head up. "NO," she says, as firmly as she can. But he doesn't stop and after a while Katniss bites into a pillow, hard.


	47. BYE FOR NOW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things must end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the one following were originally one long chapter but I decided to split them. The next chapter will be about Peeta's next gig.

The leave-taking with her family at the airport was hard. Prim hugged each of them, and then burst into tears.

"What? What's wrong?" Peeta had said, his arms still encircling Katniss's sister.

Prim swiped hastily at her cheeks and ran down the tunnel leading to the plane.

Mrs. Everdeen looked at Katniss and Peeta and gave an apologetic shrug.

"Thank you both," Mrs. Everdeen said. "We had a lovely time."

"Come back soon," Peeta said. "We'd love to have you. Anytime."

Mrs. Everdeen looked at him. "Sweet boy," she said, and patted his cheek.

Peeta colored.

They took BART back to the city. In a crowded train car, full of people with suitcases, people who'd just arrived in San Francisco or were returning home from visiting family elsewhere, Katniss told Peeta about his dad and her mom.

She and Peeta were leaning against each other. Peeta listened quietly while she whispered the story, his head bent. She wanted to see what emotion was swimming in his blue eyes, but from their position she just couldn't. Her face was against his shoulder. There were people around, hemming them in. And she didn't want to lose the feel of his warmth, even for a second. So she kept her head down as she told their parents' story. And from the way the hands wrapped around her trembled slightly, she knew Peeta knew that her mother had been The One.

"She read about your dad's passing in the papers," Katniss said. "She was sorry she didn't go to the funeral."

* * *

Macy's is crowded, as usual. But Peeta knows exactly which counter he wants, so he cuts quickly through the crowd. By a strange coincidence, the man at the counter is the same salesman who showed them the diamond bracelet and earrings, the Friday after Thanksgiving. And the man recognizes Peeta.

"There you are!" the salesman says.

He still has that thin moustache.

"I remember your girlfriend. She didn't seem to like your choices."

Peeta gives the man a rueful smile. "I guess. But I have an idea for a present and I wanted to run it by you, and maybe you could help me put the pieces together?"

"Sure!" the salesman says, rubbing his hands together. "Anything for such a beautiful couple."

"Oh, um. Thanks," Peeta says, running his hand nervously through his hair. "To start with, a thin gold chain."

* * *

Peeta hurries home; Katniss is already there. She's sitting cross-legged on the couch, a book propped up on a pillow in her lap. The light from one of the standing lamps casts a glow over her features. She must just have taken a shower; her hair is still wet and dripping. There's an empty wine glass in front of her on the coffee table.

Peeta smiles and asks her what she's reading. She doesn't answer, just lifts the book so he can see the cover. It's the one he gave her many months earlier.

He scoots over next to her on the couch and puts one arm around her shoulders. "So what do you think?" he asks.

"I like it," she says. "It's a little disquieting, though. How things go bad so quickly for the members of the expedition."

"Yes!" Peeta says. "Doesn't it remind you a little of Conrad?"

"It does."

Peeta looks a little more closely at her. "What's wrong? You don't seem like yourself."

"I'm all right. Just -- tired," Katniss says, leaning her head back on the couch. "Where'd you go?"

"Umm, ran into a friend," Peeta says, not liking to lie.

The locket feels heavy in his jeans, now. He should put it away. He stands, kisses Katniss softly on the mouth, and tells her he needs to change.


	48. THE THIRD GIG

The tear sheets come back from Peeta's second gig with Cinna.

"There you are," Katniss says softly, looking at the series of shots. Peeta's face is hidden in most of the photographs. He's straddling a chair, back to the camera. His arms are crossed on the chair back. His head is bent.

His hair was a little longer then. The stylist left a few strands against his nape.

His back is beautiful, broad and strong and pulsating with color. The angle is low. He fills the frame. And his hips! They look amazingly slim in those jeans.

"Hey," Katniss says, linking her fingers through Peeta's. "You look great in these."

Peeta smiles and rests his head on top of Katniss's.

"A little thin, maybe," Katniss continues, and swallows. At that point, he'd been living on the street for months. They'd known each other only a few weeks. "So when are these coming out?"

"I don't know. Next month?"

"We've got to get extra copies. Send one to Prim."

Katniss vividly remembers the first time he came home with the art on his back, how she'd told him not to wash it off until she got back from work. She remembers what they did together after. The second night of that gig was when he met Prim. She and Prim were videochatting in the bedroom when Peeta came rushing in. From that moment, her sister seemed smitten. She'd made him sit in the dining room where there was more light, just so Prim could have a closer look at Peeta's back.

* * *

They kiss, and Peeta's mouth tastes like sour beer because they've just come from wrapping his third gig. It was about the newest trend in the San Francisco food scene: edibles resting on a human body. Of course, the body had to be fabulous. And in fact it was, Katniss thought. Because, in this shoot, the body was Peeta's.

Katniss sat and watched while Peeta stretched out naked on a table with various clothed female models draped around him, pretending to eat food from his chest and belly and she was upset.

There were three models: a lissome dark woman with close-cropped hair dyed bright gold (a look she heard someone refer to as "a Kanye"), a brunette with wide, Marion Cotillard eyes, and a platinum blonde with etched eyebrows and strawberry pink lips.

The tall model -- Katniss thought her name sounded something like Enobaria -- had sharply chiseled teeth which caused Katniss to cringe each time she opened her mouth over Peeta. She picked up on Katniss's distress and went up to her during a break. "Missy, don't you be getting that green-eyed look. Me and my girlfriend are here strictly for the work, so lose the eye-rolling. Please. It's very distracting."

Katniss had clammed up and wished she could be swallowed up by the ground. Afterwards, Peeta had grabbed her hand and said he was sorry and she realized he really had nothing to be sorry for: it was just a job; and they needed the money. She glanced back just once as she and Peeta were leaving the shoot, and saw the tall dark woman with the close-cropped hair grab the platinum blonde by the nape of the neck and pull her in for a deep kiss. The other model, the one with the Marion Cotillard eyes, was already out the door ahead of them, rushing toward a man waiting for her on the corner.

Katniss and Peeta had late dinner at a small Italian trattoria two blocks from the apartment, splurging on a Mountain Man pizza because seeing all the food draped on Peeta had made them both hungry. The restaurant was warm and dark. The tables were pushed close to each other and the occupants were mostly families. Katniss wanted to hurry home so she could have Peeta all to herself again.

* * *

  
She did get to meet Cinna on the first night of the shoot. He wasn't at all what she'd been expecting. His handshake was firm and his smile warm. "I've heard so much about you from Peeta," he told Katniss. The way Cinna smiled at her made her calm.

He took the time to explain his concept for the shoot, how he was careful that there would only be the hint of nakedness, no flashing of "your boyfriend," he said drolly, with a twinkle in his eye. Katniss had looked at the floor, her face burning.

It was a two-night shoot. Katniss didn't go the second night. She stayed on the couch and bingewatched episodes of "Scandal." She thought of the pointy-toothed model and the way she had said "my girlfriend," and she couldn't wait for Peeta to get home so that they could kiss and maybe do a little more -- all depending, of course, on how tired he was.


	49. ONE NIGHT

The following week turns out to be a very busy one. Cinna calls Peeta one night and says, "I have a friend who's doing a shoot for a suit company. You interested?"

"Sure," Peeta says. Katniss watches his face. It's calm, he trusts Cinna so much.

"The shoot's for a women's clothing line, and you probably know the female model already: Enobaria?" Cinna says.

"Oh, yeah . . . " Peeta says.

"It's pretty simple," Cinna says. "My friend's name is Plutarch Heavensbee. The shoot's going to be in his apartment, Union Street. And -- Peeta? I think these pictures could really make you."

"Umm. Oh, thanks," Peeta says. He's not sure he wants to be a model, for real, but it would be nice to help Katniss out with the rent and all that.

Peeta goes to Plutarch's apartment two nights later, and when he gets back his face is a little -- strange? He doesn't say anything, but the next night he cooks her favorite, lamb stew. And it seems to Katniss that he's taking extra care with it this time.

"Peeta," she asks, watching him pull the ingredients together in the kitchen. "You've been acting a little strange. Did something happen during the shoot?"

"No," Peeta says. "Why do you ask?"

"Tell me about it," Katniss says.

Peeta turns fully to face her. "Okay, here it comes. I'm not ashamed of it. It's a job."

"Yeah. And -- ?" Katniss says.

"So they had me take my clothes off and lie face down on a couch. And Enobaria was dressed in a suit. That's it."

_Peeta was naked, again? Why is he always naked for these shoots?_

"So," Katniss says, and laughs. "That's it?"

"That's it," Peeta says.

"Okay," Katniss says.

It happens right after that, just as they're about to start dinner. Peeta watches as Katniss's face turns a slight shade of green. He ladles some lamb stew onto the brown rice on her plate. She's all anticipation, her eyes alight with that special hunger they get when she knows he's made a dish specially for her.

But just as Katniss picks up her knife and fork, Peeta sees a strange expression come over her face. She drops the silverware. They land on the table with a loud clatter.

"Katniss!" Peeta says, immediately concerned. "What's wrong?"

"I -- " she starts to say, then claps a hand to her mouth and rushes from the table. She barely makes it to the bathroom. He hears her retching into the toilet.

He stands too. In his hurry, his chair falls over (He hopes the super doesn't come banging on their door; he's sure the downstairs tenant must be cursing at the loud footsteps rushing to and fro, the furniture falling)

"Are you all right?" he says, when he reaches her.

"I'm all right," Katniss whispers. "I'm sorry. I just -- I haven't been feeling well."

Peeta frowns. "You haven't been feeling well?" he says. How could he not have noticed?

"Let's get you changed. I'll make you some chicken noodle soup . . . "

"I'm so sorry," Katniss says. "I don't know what happened. It's not the stew, honey. You know I love your lamb stew."

Peeta chuckles as he helps her up. "I know you love my stew." His face becomes serious as he wraps an arm around Katniss. "But how bad are you feeling? Should I call the doctor?"

"No! Don't be silly!" Katniss says. "Just help me to the room. I'm probably just tired. You know, after Thanksgiving, all that excitement."

Peeta doesn't say anything. He blames himself for not having picked up on the signs.

"Let's just get you to bed," Peeta says. He helps Katniss to the bed, and she sinks down gratefully.

"You know," he says, "I think we have some ginger ale in the fridge. Let me check."

"Peeta, don't fuss," Katniss says. Her eyes are intent, and so serious. "I'm fine. Just -- could you cover up the stew? Somehow, I can smell it from here."

"Sure!" Peeta says. He goes back to the dining room, brings the stew to the kitchen, pops a cover on it, and then puts it in the fridge. He searches for a can of ginger ale, but doesn't find any.

"Katniss," he says, hurrying back. "I'll just run out and get some ginger ale -- "

Katniss has a hand up to her forehead. Her face looks clammy and pale.

"All right," she says. Then, without any warning, she sits bolt upright and retches -- all over the bed. Tears begin leaking from her eyes. "This is terrible!" she cries.

"It must be some kind of bug," Peeta mumbles. "Don't worry about it." He helps Katniss get up. She hobbles over to the bathroom and positions herself over the toilet. He hurries back to the bedroom and begins stripping the bed. He opens a window too, for good measure. Then he kneels beside her in the bathroom. "Do you remember what you had today? Maybe something from work?"

"No," Katniss says, shaking her head. "I skipped lunch. I just wasn't hungry."

Peeta's distress multiplies three-fold. "You skipped lunch?" he says. "I packed you a sandwich and -- "

"It's still in my bag," Katniss says ruefully. "I'm sorry. I started to unwrap it and the smell -- honey, I know there was nothing wrong with the pastrami. But suddenly, I could smell the mustard. Maybe you switched brands? Maybe it was that?"

"You should have told me!" Peeta said. Carefully, he wets a towel and applies it to Katniss's face.

They wait a half hour until Katniss is sure she's retched enough. Then Peeta helps her into some fresh jammies and makes her lie down while he gets a clean comforter from the closet.

"Peeta, I think -- " she still has a hand over her forehead, and her eyes drift closed. "I think you need to run and get us a pregnancy test." She opens her eyes just as she says the last part of the sentence and almost wishes she hadn't: Peeta's face looks tight and strange. She forces herself up on one elbow. "Are you okay," she asks, unable to keep a slight tremble from her voice.

_Because maybe he doesn't want this._

"Go, Peeta. We'll talk after."

"Sure you'll be okay?" he says, hesitating.

"I'll be okay."

He leaves her side and comes back moments later with a wastebasket lined in plastic. "Use this till I get back," he says. "I'll be quick."

"Don't worry," she tells him, then watches as he turns his back and leaves. She wasn't worried before.

Peeta comes rushing back after what seems to Katniss like an hour but was probably only something like 20 minutes.

"There was a line," he says. "I got two different brands. Just to be sure." His fingers tremble. "Damn! Walgreen's!"

"What happened?" Katniss says, taking the kits from him.

"Checkout girl was nosy," Peeta says, and shrugs. "Of all times to want to strike up a conversation." He blushes. "I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could."

"It's okay," Katniss says, getting up. "She could probably tell you were nervous."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gutted to learn recently of the passing of authoresskika.
> 
> 26.2 was absolutely GREAT. Read: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2718299


	50. AND THE RESULTS ARE

_Prim. Mom. Prim. Mom. Help. I--_

Katniss takes a deep breath and opens the first box Peeta bought: Easy@Home 25 Pregnancy Test  
Strips.

_25? How many of these do you really need?_

Katniss looks over the box until she locates the price: $13.53

She looks at the second box: Clearblue Plus Pregnancy Test, $19.99

She decides to go with the Clearblue.

_Okay, here goes._

Katniss's hands clench and she says a prayer, she's not yet sure for what.

Even though she kinda knows. Yeah, she kinda already knows.

* * *

Peeta's sitting at the edge of the bed, hunched over. He looks up at her. "Well?"

"Positive. I'll do another one tomorrow, just to be sure."

She sinks down on the bed, next to him.

"Okay," Peeta says, letting out a long, shaky breath.

They sit side by side in silence, only their thighs touching.

"Isn't this the craziest year," Katniss says. She says, hesitantly, "But if I really am pregnant, I'm going to keep it."

Peeta looks at her.

"You sure?" he says.

Katniss reaches for his hand and winds her fingers through his. "I'm sure," she says.

"Thank you, Katniss," he whispers. He smiles and kisses her lightly on the lips. "I just decided something, too. Cinna suggested I get an agent. He says I've got to think ahead. Plan. He offered to give me a couple of names."

"An agent? Wow, that must mean he -- " she begins, then stops. Peeta will get more gigs, meet more people. More _models_. She doesn't know how she feels about that, exactly. Then she tells herself to stop.

 _He's not like Gale._

"Tomorrow," Katniss says. "I'll do the test again."

"I know you're worried," Peeta says. "I am, too."

"You won't -- " Katniss swallows. "You won't cut and run, will you? Because I need you."

Peeta squeezes her hand. "Never. We're in this together."

"Thank you, Peeta," she whispers.

He pulls her into his side. "I'm so in love with you already. I could never."

Katniss relaxes into Peeta, letting his warmth envelope her. Then, she thinks of something and swallows. "This means -- no alcohol. For a while. Until -- "

Peeta nods.

"We've been having wine every night with dinner," she says, biting her lip. She starts to tremble.

"Hey," Peeta says. "Don't worry about it. You didn't know. It's just one glass, two at the most, once a day. It's not like you overdid it."

"Peeta," Katniss says. "I'm never going to stop worrying. Never. It's just the way I am."


	51. THE MORNING AFTER

She wakes up the next day, Peeta's hands curled around her belly, as if cupping the new life she's sure -- even before doing another test -- is growing there. She lies there for a minute, trying to quell her anxieties. How long can she wait before telling her office? More important, how long can she wait before telling her mom? Prim?

“Hey, how are you feeling,” Peeta murmurs, nuzzling into her neck.

“Oh, I woke you – “

“No.”

“I did. Sorry. I’m – uh – “

“Retch all you want. Really. I can take it. I read somewhere that women who get morning sickness have healthier babies.”

“What? Where did you read that?”

“Web MD. I snuck a look last night after you fell asleep.”

“Liar.”

“Would I lie about something like this? I’m going to become the world’s most knowledgeable dad.”

They’re both quiet for a few moments.

“I love you, Peeta,” she says, burrowing further into him.

“I love you, Katniss,” he says. "And I want you to know: starting today, no more alcohol for me."

"You don't have to do that," she protests.

"Why not? Everything you go through, I want to go through, too. I'd feel terrible drinking while you can't. I'm not that much of a jerk."

He kisses her shoulder. He strokes her belly. Warms it.

Much as Katniss would love nothing so much as spending the day with Peeta, it's only Wednesday, and she has to go to work. The word 'work' suddenly seems freighted with meaning. They need her job. She didn't pay attention to the part of her job orientation that went over maternity benefits. She'll have to see if they're posted on the Human Resources website. And how long can she put off telling her employer? Three months? Four?

Reluctantly, she untangles herself from Peeta's arms. "I need to get dressed," she says.

He nods. "I'll make breakfast," he says.

She steps into the shower and is about to turn the hot water on full blast when she hesitates. She turns the hot water on to just half-strength. Gravely, she showers and shampoos her hair.

_Are these chemicals okay for my baby? Our baby?_

What is wrong with her? Surely she can't go through every product in her bathroom, reading the fine print for possible health hazards? Does she plan to go completely organic from now on?

As soon as she steps out of the bathroom, the smell of freshly brewed coffee assails her. She takes in a deep breath. She loves freshly brewed coffee. It's wonderful that Peeta prepares it for her, every morning.

And then, suddenly, she feels it again: her stomach clenches.

She puts a hand over her mouth just as she hears Peeta call her name. "Coffee's ready!" he says.

She's heaving. She turns, but doesn't quite make it in time.

_Well, at least it's tile._

Peeta helps Katniss get cleaned up and then hugs her. "You're going to have a good day today, Katniss," he says.

"How do you know?" Katniss says, trying to be chipper but feeling anything but.

"Because I looked up your horoscope."

_He's such a font of web information, suddenly._

"You're feeling anxious, but that's completely natural. Given your -- condition," he finishes delicately.

"I hate you, Peeta."

Peeta grins. "And I hate you, too, Katniss."

Katniss is safely to the lobby when the unmistakable smell of weed hits her. It annoys her -- enough to make her feel quarrelsome.

_Got to bring that up with the super._


	52. THE OFFICE

"Kitty kat!" says the obnoxious voice, hovering by her right ear.

"Damnit!" Katniss hisses. She looks quickly at her screen.

_Whaaat? Where's all that stuff I just typed?_

"Out of my face, Cato! Can'cha see I'm working?"

"Awwww!" Cato says, mock gripping his neck with both hands. "I'm so sorreeeeee!"

_Ugh! What is that cologne he's wearing?_

"Who are you bringing to the Christmas party?" Cato asks.

"None of your business! Now, get out of my face before I -- "

_Oh no! That smell is so -- bad!_

"What's the matter? Smell of me driving you wild? It's Giorgio, by the way. Giorgio as in -- WHAT THE FUCK?"

Katniss holds her mouth. Grips it, in fact. But the vomit seeps out between her fingers. Her face grows red with the effort of holding it in. Her stomach heaves.

"Whoa, Everdeen!" Cato cries, stepping back. "Gross!"

"Cut it out!" Annie says, storming into Katniss's cubicle. Well, as much as anyone eight months along can be said to storm. "Jackass!" she says to Cato, before pushing him out of the way.

Annie holds a plastic trash can in front of Katniss's face. "Here, sweetie," she says. "Just let it all out. The nerve of that guy, parading his Giorgio all over the office. It's so damn gross."

* * *

Annie places a cool hand against Katniss's forehead. They're in the women's room, and Katniss doesn't know if she can ever face anyone again.

"You don't have a fever," Annie says, soothingly. "It's probably just a stomach virus. What did you eat last?"

"Can we -- " Katniss gasps, shaking her head. "Can you please stop talking about eating?"

"Okay," Annie says, and straightens. She throws Katniss a calculating look. Then, her eyes fasten pointedly on Katniss's mid-section.

"What?" Katniss says defensively.

Annie gives a low whistle. "Whoa, honey," she says. "Any chance you might be -- knocked up? You do look like you might have gained a little weight . . . "

"Ugh," Katniss says. "Is it that obvious?"

"Here," Annie says sympathetically. "Let's just untuck your shirt."

She tugs Katniss's tailored shirt out and arranges it neatly over her pencil skirt so that it all but conceals Katniss's tummy. "There! Problem solved! Quite easily done!" Annie adds, "You shouldn't wear such tight skirts. Impedes -- movement. And those heels -- lose them!"

"Thank you so much, Annie," Katniss murmurs, feeling surprisingly close to tears.

"No problem, sweetie! Now, wait right here. I'll call you an Uber."

"No! I mean, you can't! I've got to finish a report for Seneca!"

"What?" Annie says. "But how can you -- you're not feeling well?"

Katniss clutches Annie's hand. "Don't tell Seneca anything. I need this job, Annie."

"Take it easy, Kat. I would never. Besides, you know no one can be let go because they're pregnant. It's the law."

Katniss swallows. "I guess I'm just -- anxious. I'm still processing -- " she gestures weakly in the air. "We just found out. I took a test last night."

"And? How'd Peeta take it?"

"He's -- " Katniss lets out a long breath. "He's wonderful. Nervous, like me. But he's happy. We're happy."

"Then, sweetie, wipe all those worries out of your mind. And don't you worry about Seneca. Tell him you'll work from home tomorrow."

"Annie, thank you so much. Could you -- could you get my bag? Under my desk?"

Annie nods. "Stay right here. I'll be back in a flash."

Annie's as good as her word. She comes back into the restroom with Katniss's handbag. "Is this all you need?" she asks Katniss. "Seneca said it was okay for you to work from home the rest of the day. Shoot! You'll need your files. Tell me which ones to grab. Oh, and I told Cato to fuck off or I'd report him to HR."

Katniss gets awkwardly to her feet. "Annie, I can't thank you enough -- "

"Don't mention it. Girls got to stick together! And check your phone. I heard it ping a few times."

Katniss reaches for her bag. She digs her phone out, glances at the screen, and says, "It's Peeta. He's just checking to see how I'm doing."

"Is he worried?" Annie says.

"Well," Katniss says, hating to divulge so much, even though Annie has proven herself nothing but kind, "I had -- umm, an episode, before I left the apartment this morning."

"Oh, no kidding!" Annie says, her eyes widening in shock. "You've really got it bad!"

Katniss takes a deep breath. "I would have been okay, I think. If it hadn't been for that dumb Cato practically shoving his face into my screen. And his cologne, ugh."

"You better text Peeta," Annie says, "before he gets it into his head to come here and check on you."

Katniss texts Peeta. There's an almost immediate ping.

"It's too late," she tells Annie. "He's waiting downstairs."


	53. HOW DID WE GET PREGNANT?

When the elevator doors open, Peeta's waiting on the other side, looking like he's ready to jump out of his skin. When he sees Katniss and Annie, his face registers shock.

"Katniss!" he says, rushing forward and putting an arm around her. "What happened?"

Before Katniss can speak, Annie intervenes. "Oh, nothing. Just morning sickness," she says lightly. "A little episode. Didn't even splash her clothes. I'm Annie. You know my husband, Finnick!"

"Yeah! Of course! Finnick!" Peeta says, breaking out into a wide smile. Katniss can't stop looking at him, for some reason. Maybe she's getting lightheaded, but do Peeta's eyes seem even bluer than normal right now? Peeta rushes on: "Haven't seen him since our gig. How's he doing these days? And -- umm. You know. The rest of, umm -- " Peeta stumbles, his face getting progressively redder.

"Oh, band's fine. Getting new gigs. Nicer venues. Just wish he didn't have to be out so much, late at night. With the baby due in a month," Annie says.

"Oh!" Peeta says. "Um. Congratulations!"

"Thanks!" Annie says brightly. "Now you and Katniss run along. I've got to get back to work. Katniss, bring ginger ale in to work. Maybe soda crackers, too. And some hard candy to suck on."

Annie gives a little wave and presses the "Up" button for the elevator.

Peeta turns back to Katniss. For some reason, her face is flushed.

_Oh my God, that last thing Annie said. The visual. Peeta. Uurgh._

"I can walk, Peeta," she says, in answer to his inquiring glance. "I need a little fresh air."

Peeta nods. "Okay," he says. "But if you feel the slightest bit -- "

"Don't worry, I'll give you plenty of warning before I throw up on you," Katniss says.

* * *

Peeta tells her he threw out the lamb stew that morning. Katniss can't quell her annoyance.

"You shouldn't have done that!" she says. "We hardly even touched it!"

"I know. But you didn't seem to like the smell . . . "

"Oh, please. I'll be fine," Katniss says.

But she appreciates Peeta's thoughtfulness. He went and got a 12-pack of ginger ale, two boxes of soda crackers, and a bottle of One-A-Day.

"Peeta!" Katniss cries, after looking closely at the label. "Are these pre-natal vitamins?"

"Yeah," he says, shrugging, his hand going to the back of his neck. "I just thought you might need to start taking some. There were so many different kinds, so finally I just picked the one that was most expensive."

* * *

For dinner, they have chicken and noodle soup.

"I didn't salt it," Peeta says. "Sorry if it's bland."

She's able to keep that down, at least. She's quiet for a few moments. Then, she decides to tell Peeta what's been on the back of her mind all day. Since last night. Since she first started suspecting . . .

"I've been thinking, wondering, when it could have happened," she says.

"So have I," Peeta says.

"You always used condoms, and I've been on the pill. There are some days -- maybe I forgot. I didn't worry too much if I missed a day. That can't have been it, right?"

"Well, right. There was that one time we -- " he stops. "You remember? The tub? After my second gig?"

Katniss stares at him.

_How could I have forgotten?_

"Peeta, come here," she says now, and her voice is husky and low.

 _Must be the pheromones. Or the pregnancy hormones. Or whatever that shit is that's telling me_ _this is a man. A very attractive man. But, more than that, he's my mate. He's my mate not just_ _because I've chosen him, but because he's chosen me. And we fit together, like puzzle pieces._

"Yeah?" he says, from across the table.

_My mood swings are probably driving him crazy._

"Remember how you wanted to get that tattoo of our initials? But I wasn't sure, it felt too soon?"

"Yeah," he says, sounding skeptical. Cautious. Tense.

"Well, now would be a good time for you to go and do it," Katniss says.

"You sure?" Peeta breathes.

He looks so happy.

"I'm sure. And I have a suggestion. Put it on your back. Maybe -- " Katniss reaches over and runs a hand under Peeta's shirt. "Just. Here. Right here. On the small of your back. So when you turn around, and you're naked, I -- "

_Wow, what did I just say? His eyebrows are raised so high it's almost hysterical._


	54. LIKE PUZZLE PIECES (for AuthoressKika)

"Hey," Peeta whispers, as he pushes into her. "Is this too much? Am I hurting you?"

She shakes her head. Sweat seeps down her forehead. Peeta lifts a hand and brushes a wet strand off her cheek.

"I don't want to press on it too much -- your stomach. I keep thinking -- "

"Shut up," Katniss moans. "I want you. Closer."

"Tell me if it gets too much," Peeta murmurs, and starts moving again. "I love you so much, Katniss," he murmurs, his eyes closed.

Katniss feels a soreness. The ache isn't coming from between her legs, it's from her breasts. Peeta has one in his large hand. Normally she loves when he sucks her while he's inside her, but suddenly --

He's being so careful, so gentle.

_It'll pass._

She grips his hips and he thrusts, again and again.

"Ouch!" she says, surprising herself.

Peeta stills. He grits his teeth, positioned over her in mid-stroke, both their chests slick with sweat.

"What," he says.

"That hurt," Katniss says.

"Okay, I'm pulling out," Peeta says.

"No, no, no. It's my breasts. They feel a little tender."

Peeta releases the breast he was holding. Regretfully, she's aware of his diminishing hardness.

Carefully, he eases his weight off her.

_Nooooo!_

She reaches out blindly and her hand lands on his hip. She grips there, holding him firmly in place.

"Not yet," she says. "Not yet. Lie down."

He hesitates for a moment.

"I mean, lie on your back."

* * *

He didn't want to do it but she told him, "Being pregnant doesn't mean we shouldn't do it."

_In fact, I may want to have sex more often now, because I've got you._

Katniss continues: "Having a baby and having sex aren't mutually exclusive. Besides, can you really go through eight months without, you know . . . "

'nuff said.

The most lurid images of Peeta assault her imagination at random moments. When Annie said to suck on hard candy, she thought of sucking Peeta's dick. When she told him where she wanted him to put the tattoo of their initials, she imagines him doing another food shoot, but this time with his ink plainly visible on his lower back. She's never been this way. She can only surmise it's the chemicals coursing through her, the ones that say: Only connect.

She wants him every night, between her legs. The other night, she had a wet dream. She can't believe it. She woke Peeta, they went for another round.

It's almost ridiculous. Her eyebags are something else. Thankfully, if he notices, Cato is silent. He seems a little cowed, now, in her presence. Not one joke, not one insinuating comment, not even one lifted eyebrow.

He chats with others, mostly about the office Christmas party that's coming up in a few days. Office parties aren't really Katniss's thing, but at least Peeta will be with her. And besides, she also wants to show camaraderie, because in several months she'll be availing fully of the office policy on maternity leave: two months, full pay. A guaranteed job for at least two years, after. Flexible hours.

Births are covered 100 %, after a co-pay of $500. It's more than generous.

She worries about when to tell her mother and Prim.

* * *

 _Prim_. They zoom every few days. Katniss isn't showing yet, so she hasn't brought it up.

During one videochat, Prim introduces Buttercup, her mangy ally cat, to Peeta. Buttercut's fur sticks up at odd angles.

"What happened to him?" Katniss asks.

"I tried to brush his fur," Prim says. "So he'd look good for Peeta."

Katniss remembers how their carpet at home is usually covered in Buttercup's orange fur, fur that no amount of vacuuming seems able to eliminate. Both armrests of their eggplant-colored sofa are shredded because Buttercup likes using them as scratching posts. _I can't be around that, I'm pregnant._

Peeta smiles at Prim.

"Is that new?" Katniss asks suddenly.

Prim is wearing a sky blue sweatshirt with "Buttercup" in gold letters along the front.

"Duh, Katniss!" Prim says, rolling her eyes. "I've only had this in, like, FOREVER."

"I've never seen you wearing it."

"Well," Prim starts --

_I could swear my little sister is blushing._

"You look cute," Peeta says.

"Thank you," Prim says, then turns her attention back to Peeta. "Buttercup can do yoga poses. Want to see? This one is called the Flopasana."

When they eventually end the chat, Katniss sees disappointment in Prim's eyes.

* * *

Somehow, Katniss makes it through the next work week without a single incident. Peeta still makes coffee, but now it's DECAF. She has two slices of toast with it, nothing else. She has a bag of Jolly Ranchers in her purse, another one in her desk at work.

Before she knows it, it's Friday, Annie is giving her a hug and telling her next week will be her last for a while.

"I'm really looking forward to seeing you and Peeta at the office party," she tells Katniss.

"Yeah, right," Katniss says. "Maybe I'll even show up with reindeer ears like everyone's been saying."

"Reindeer ears or not, you'll do just fine, Katniss," Annie says. "You're positively glowing this week." She gives Katniss a poke. "Must be the sex. Did you know I got so horny during my first trimester that I nearly killed Finnick? He offered to have his band play at the party. Can't believe it, Seneca's actually paying them decent money. Be prepared to dance!"


	55. RED SWEATER AND MRS. CLAUS

Peeta whistles lowly. "You look particularly delicious, Mrs. Claus!" Peeta says, giving Katniss the once-over, his hands gliding over her hips suggestively.

In honor of her first (and most likely last) office Christmas party, Katniss figured she might as well go all out. A few days earlier, she and Peeta went to Target and she found a Mrs. Claus outfit, on sale. It was a little short, but the torso fit perfectly. Well, maybe it _was_ a tad snug, but she's hardly showing.

The finishing touch was the Santa Claus hat. She cocked it over one eye and found herself winking -- actually winking! -- at her image in the fitting room mirror. That was when she made up her mind to get it.

Since she's donned her outfit, Peeta's hardly been able to keep his hands off her. It's nice. She's still attractive to him, then.

_In a month or so, I might not be._

"Not those," Peeta says, when he sees Katniss start to put on a pair of high-heeled boots.

"Why not?" she says.

"You might trip. Use your UGGs."

Katniss sees his point, but she still grumbles loudly.

"This outfit with -- UGGs? Can I tell you how ridiculous that looks?" she says. But she puts on the UGGs. She stands and bumps straight into Peeta's chest.

"I love seeing you in UGGs," he says, his arms coming around her.

"Shut up!" Katniss says, scowling. She turns and her scowl melts.

Peeta's wearing his red sweater. Of all his sweaters, it's her favorite. It's not a super-bright red, more like maroon. The clingy material shows off his broad shoulders perfectly. In lieu of a Santa hat, he's wearing reindeer horns.

_Damn! Do we really have to go to this party?_

"All set?" Peeta asks.

Katniss sighs. "Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

"Did you bring your gift for Secret Santa?"

 _Oops_!

"It's behind the door."

Peeta picks up the red box. "What'd you get?"

"An inflatable neck pillow."

"So it's a guy. Can't you just tell me who it is?"

Katniss scowls.

"Forget I said anything," Peeta says. "Let's go."

* * *

A few minutes after entering the dining hall, Katniss hears someone call her name. "Katniss! Over here!" Annie calls.

Katniss turns. She spots Annie, standing next to the hors d'oeurves table. Annie's wearing what looks like a voluminous red tent. Sprigs of fake holly are woven into her red hair. As soon as Katniss and Peeta are standing in front of her, Annie gives a low whistle.

"Whoo! Hot Mama!" Annie says.

"Shhh!" Katniss says, grabbing Annie's arm.

"Oh, who cares!" Annie says. "You'll have to tell people sooner or later."

"Yeah, but not right now," Katniss says.

"Hi, Annie," Peeta says, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Oooh! Did Peeta just kiss me?" Annie laughs. She mimes fanning herself.

Finnick suddenly appears behind Annie and wraps his arms around her. They barely reach around her tummy. He buries his face in her neck and says, "Looks like I have some competition, eh?"

"Stop," Annie says, leaning backwards into her husband.

Katniss stares.

So _that's_ Finnick. He's gorgeous.

"Hey, Finnick," Peeta says. "Long time no see. How's it going?"

"Things are great," Finnick says. He straightens up to shake Peeta's hand, then turns. "You must be Katniss. Looks like congratulations are in order."

Katniss smiles, suddenly tongue-tied in front of this beautiful man.

_I had no idea Annie was with such a -- hunk._

Peeta wraps an arm around Katniss and pulls her into his side. "Yeah," he says softly to Finnick. "We're expecting."

* * *

An hour later, Finnick and his band mount a low stage. Katniss watches as Johanna strides forward. She seems a little less punk than Katniss remembered. Katniss takes a deep breath.

The band starts playing a slow tune. Katniss leans back into Peeta and closes her eyes. Peeta wraps his arms around her and places a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, Katniss," Peeta says. "You make me so happy." Katniss reaches up an arm. She pulls Peeta's face down and then presses a tender kiss on his mouth. Peeta returns her kiss with fervor. Somehow, he succeeds in knocking her Santa Claus hat off.

"Hey!" Annie says, laughing. "Save that for a room!"

Katniss straightens and scowls. Before she can retort, she feels Peeta nudge her.

"Hey," he says. "I think that's your phone."

Katniss fumbles for it. She's surprised Peeta heard the ring over the noise around them. She checks Caller ID: Prim!

She motions to Peeta that she's taking the call outside. He nods and follows her.

"Prim, hey!" Katniss says.

"Hey, Katniss! WE'RE HERE!" Prim says.

"Here! I know, we're talking on the phone. So -- what's up?" Katniss says. By now, she and Peeta are in an almost-deserted hallway. Deserted if you ignore the three or four couples kissing and giggling.

"We -- Mom and I -- we're here. In front of your building. Sorry, we wanted to surprise you. We kept ringing your unit, and you didn't pick up. Finally, someone told us she'd seen you leaving. She wasn't sure it was you, because you were dressed different. But she recognized Peeta."


	56. BIG SURPRISE!

Peeta is staring at her like she's gone out of her mind. "You want to WHAT?" he practically shouts. "Leave? NOW?" The reindeer horns on his head are wobbling madly. Katniss can't keep from staring at them, transfixed.

Gradually, it starts to sink in. Prim. Her mother. Here.

She grabs Peeta by the front of his sweater. "We have to leave," she says.

"Why? Did something happen? Is she hurt? Is your mother hurt? Talk to me, Katniss!" he shouts.

Peeta seems to be hyperventilating: his nostrils are flaring, his eyes are almost bugging out of his head. And he keeps shaking her.

"Prim. My mom. They're here," she finally manages to say.

_Is this a dream?_

"HERE?"

"Yes," Katniss says. "We have to go."

"Do you have to tell someone? Annie, maybe?"

Katniss nods. "Yes, I have to tell Annie." She starts heading back to the dining hall. Peeta says, from behind her: "Or, you could just text her." Katniss stops and turns around. "You're right. I could just text her."

_I sound like a robot._

"Tell Annie who your Secret Santa is."

"Oh. That's right."

She is so on automatic pilot right now. Mostly, she's terrified that they'll find out. Her hand moves automatically to cover her belly.

Will they suspect? How long are they staying?

Peeta says, "Hand me your phone." She hands it over. Quickly, he searches for Annie's number and then types out a quick text. Then, he takes her by the elbow. "They're just standing outside?"

"N-no," Katniss says. "Someone let them in. They're in the lobby."

Peeta says, "I'm calling an Uber."

She doesn't respond, just watches as he requests a ride.

She runs through scripts in her head: _Mom, there's something I need to tell you. You're going to be_ _a grandma! Isn't that GRRREAT? Peeta and I just found out. That's why there's a bottle of prenatal_ _vitamins on the counter. Shit!_

It's freezing when she and Peeta get to the sidewalk.

"Where's the Uber?" she says.

"I think he said it's a Silver Accord. There he is! On the corner!"

They start to walk. Peeta feels her slowing down and says, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," she says. "Just a little -- overwhelmed."

He notices the hand on her tummy.

"You're not -- are you -- ?"

She shakes her head. "Okay, don't even bring it up. I'm very suggestible right now." Suddenly, she clutches her head. "Shoot! Where's my hat?"

"Forget the hat!" Peeta says. He opens the car door for her and helps her inside. Then he gives the address to the driver.

"But it goes with the outfit!" Katniss almost wails. She's distressed at the tremor in her voice.

_Why do I care so much about a stupid Santa hat?_

"Peeta," Katniss says, suddenly turning to him and clutching his sweater.

_At the rate I'm going, this poor sweater --_

"What are we going to tell them?"

Peeta doesn't answer. Instead, he squeezes her hand. Katniss rests her head on his shoulder and stares at the blurry Christmas lights they pass on the street.

* * *

"So, who's taking care of Buttercup?" Peeta asks. His face shows so much genuine interest and affection. In response, Prim flashes him a dazzling smile.

"Buttercup's with my friend Delly," she says. "Delly's got two cats of her own and she loves Buttercup."

"That's great!" Peeta says.

Since Katniss and Peeta ushered them into the apartment, about half an hour earlier, they've been sitting around the dining room table. Her mother raised her eyebrows at Katniss's outfit (Peeta had wisely removed his reindeer ears) but thankfully chose not to remark on it. Prim was so excited to see Peeta that Katniss's outfit seems barely to have registered.

Prim's just finished telling Katniss and Peeta how she and her mother decided to avail of a Cheaptickets fire sale of flights to San Francisco.

"Delly doesn't mind cat hair on the furniture, not like SOME people," Prim continues, giving Katniss a pointed glance.

"Please," Katniss says, rolling her eyes. "You spoil the damn creature. You even give her chicken and avocado for breakfast."

Katniss knows it was the wrong thing to say, right after she says it. Talking about food makes her want to --

"What's the matter, dear?" her mother says, which only makes things worse.

"Umm. Nothing. I just need to pee," Katniss says, jumping up and heading to the bathroom.

"Typical," she hears Prim scoff. "Katniss has a bladder the size of a peanut."

"Prim!" Katniss hears her mother say just before she closes the bathroom door, leans over the toilet, and unleashes.

_Ugh, I'm dying._

There's a soft tapping on the door.

"Peeta?" she says.  
"It's Mom," comes the voice Katniss was most dreading to hear. "Open up. I heard you."

_Shit! I didn't turn on the vent. Fuck!_

"I'm fine, Mom," Katniss says. "Must have been something I ate at the office party. I think it was the shrimp cocktail? I'll be right out!"

Katniss looks under the sink for some FeBreeze Air Freshener. While she's spraying the bathroom, she gargles with Peeta's listerine. WHY does he get the blue kind when she's told him she likes the green? What does it matter? She's pregnant, for heavens sake. Shouldn't that matter more than whether or not her boyfriend remembers what kind of mouthwash she prefers?

She looks at herself in the mirror. Her waist IS snug, and the costume pinches. Maybe she'll just slip into some sweats right now.

She looks pale, too, even though she used make-up tonight -- foundation, eyeliner, and mascara. The works. She wanted to be a seductive Mrs. Santa Claus. For Peeta.

And she's suddenly very close to tears. Which is the precise moment when her mother starts knocking on the door again. "Katniss?" her mother says. "Are you all right?"

_Jesus!_

Katniss yanks the door open forcefully. "Yes, I am all right, Mom," she grits out. "For your information, I'm not 16 anymore and I don't need you to monitor my bathroom breaks."

Her mother's look of shock is enough.


	57. MOM, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU

"Katniss, sweetie," her mother says after a moment, coming closer and putting a hand on her daughter's cheek. "You're upset. Please don't be upset. It's just the hormones."

"What? What hormones?" Katniss says shakily.

"Are you having your period?" her mother whispers.

Katniss shakes her head, which brings on a fresh bout of tears.

Her mother embraces her. "Dear, have you considered -- taking a pregnancy test? It might lay your mind to rest."

Katniss stiffens. "What makes you say that?" she asks.

"Don't get so defensive, sweetie. Accidents do happen. And the way you and Peeta are with each other -- and, well, you do seem to have put on a little weight."

Katniss straightens. "Peeta's cooking is to blame for that."

Her mother smiles at her. "That's probably it. You look well, dear. Really fill out that outfit." She pats her daughter on the shoulder.

* * *

That night, in bed, while Katniss lies in Peeta's arms, she whispers,"We should tell them."

Peeta says, "I know."

"It's just," Katniss says, "I wanted to keep it our own little private secret. Just for a little while."

She feels Peeta nod.

"I haven't even gotten them presents yet. I thought I had time, and -- is this terrible? I wanted to wait for the after-Christmas sales. They wouldn't be here, and I could just mail it to them. I know I sound so selfish."

"Hush," Peeta says. "You're not selfish. I wish we could have waited, too. But we can't. Not now. Besides, your mother's a nurse. I heard the two of you talking after you went to the bathroom. She suspects, doesn't she?"

"Yeah," Katniss says, burrowing into Peeta's side. "She asked me if I'd done a pregnancy test. I  
know I should probably have told her right then and there."

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know, I don't know," Katniss says. "I was nervous."

"She'll be happy for us, won't she?" Peeta says.

"Well, I'm sure PRIM will be happy for us. But my mother, I'm not so sure. She'll probably say it's too soon."

They're both silent a few more moments.

"You remember the bathtub?" Katniss asks.

"Yeah," Peeta says.

"I'm almost sure that's when it happened."

"I think so, too."

"Remember you went out after, to get Plan B? Because -- you hadn't used a condom and you were worried? Do you regret it now?"

"Of course not," Peeta says, his arms tightening around her. After a moment, he chuckles. "I ought to tell Cinna it was all his doing."

"You ask him yet?" Katniss says. "About working for him?"

"Not yet," Peeta says. "I will soon, though. He said he was sending over the tear sheets from the food shoot."

"Oh," Katniss says. Her hands tighten over Peeta's, resting on her belly. She doesn't like thinking of that shoot. The girl with the pointed teeth, telling her to "cut it out" because she could tell Katniss was upset over Peeta being naked while the women were not. The model scolded Katniss, telling her it was "just a job." Katniss had never felt so embarrassed. The woman referred to one of the other models as her "girlfriend" and Katniss hadn't dwelt on the true ramifications of the word until she saw the two women share a passionate kiss.

Peeta sighs and begins pressing soft kisses to her hair, to the back of her neck, to her ears. She knows where this is going.

Katniss turns to face him. She takes his face between her hands.

_The way he's looking at me! Those eyes of his could melt icecaps._

"We'll tell them tomorrow, okay?"

Peeta nods, hurriedly diving in for her mouth. But Katniss jerks her head away.

"Okay?" she repeats.

Peeta looks at her. "Okay," he breathes.


	58. THE BIG REVEAL

Prim's standing in the kitchen, yawning and rubbing her sleepy eyes. Peeta's there with her, chatting and smiling as they exchange stories about -- well, about anything and everything, it seems.

Katniss had no idea how much Prim might need an older brother. Not a sister who's constantly reminding her how to do things, but a brother who is protective and affectionate. Since Prim got the least time amount of time spent with their father, she's been a little cling-y, a little fearful of the mixers that the school hosts just before each break. She's never had boys call, she spends most of her weekends at home, spoiling Buttercup or going over to Delly's. Here, in San Francisco, Katniss can practically see her little sister blooming in Peeta's presence.

Instead of interrupting (she was on her way to pick up her decaf and kiss Peeta good morning), she decides to go check on her mother. She hears the TV so her mother is probably watching something.

She's surprised to see that her mother's already folded back the sofa-bed and done some straightening up in the living room. When she notices Katniss, her mother smiles. "I hope you don't mind our just dropping in on you," her mother says. "But Prim wanted it so much, and when she came to me with that airline sale -- I have to say, I couldn't think of a single good reason why we shouldn't do it."

"I'm so glad you're here, Mom," Katniss says, approaching her mother and giving her a warm hug.

Her mother hugs her back, and something about the way Katniss is bent over makes her feel a little strange. She straightens quickly, a hand to her stomach.

"What is it?" her mother says. "All of a sudden, you look a little -- green."

_That does it._

"I'm -- ah -- um -- ah, excuse me!" Katniss says, turning and fleeing to the bathroom. This time, she remembers to flip on the vent before she bends over the toilet.

When she finally emerges from the bathroom, there's a strange new silence in the apartment. Her heart drops when she enters the kitchen and sees her mother has joined Prim and Peeta there. Her mother is frowning at the package of coffee grounds Peeta left on the counter.

"Decaf?" her mother says. "Since when has Katniss liked decaf? I know my girl, and she loves a dark French roast like nobody's business. But this is -- decaf."

"Well, um," Peeta says, a hand going to the back of his neck and a slight blush starting to creep into his cheeks. "It's healthier, you know. For -- the future."

He gives Katniss a look, a look that says HELP!

Katniss goes to stand next to him and curls an arm protectively around Peeta's waist. In honor of the unexpected visit, he's actually wearing a t-shirt. Most days, he wanders around the apartment shirtless, Katniss can't say she minds.

She can almost feel his heart thudding through his chest. He has a fixed look on his face. An almost -- vacant -- look.

Katniss pinches his waist. "Peeta, weren't we going to tell Mom and Prim something this morning?" Katniss says. She turns to her mother and Prim. Prim is watching her with slightly narrowed eyes.

_WTF, what's that look for?_

Slowly, Prim turns and opens a drawer.

_What the hell -- ?_

"Your announcement wouldn't have anything to do with this bottle of pre-natal vitamins I found last night, when I had midnight munchies and was looking for a spoon?" Prim asks, waving the bottle in the air with a smirk.

Katniss takes a deep breath. She wants to yell at Prim, but she won't.

_Count to 10. Here goes._

She steals a glance at her Mom. Her Mom doesn't look the slightest bit perturbed. Rather than feel relieved, however, now all Katniss feels is -- confusion.

"I mean, DUH," Prim plows on. "You guys have a lot of sex. And I do mean A LOT OF SEX. I told Delly that you were turning into some kind of nympho -- "

"Whaaaat?" Katniss suddenly screeches. She marches forward and snatches the bottle of vitamins from Prim's hand.

"You'd come out of the room every morning and I could practically COUNT the number of new hickeys on your neck. On both sides," Prim says, winding up with a smug grin.

Katniss is so mortified, she can't even look at Peeta. In her wildest dreams, she could never have imagined herself being so terrorized by -- of all people -- her little sister. And Prim is apparently not quite done because she turns to Peeta, puts on her "innocent" face and asks, "What'd you do with all the wine you used to have?"

"All right, that's enough," her mother suddenly says. She turns to her older daughter. "Katniss, I think we can safely dispense with the preliminaries. I mean, decaf? Really? We Everdeens, we always go for the strongest, richest, darkest coffee. Not to mention, Prim told me the fridge was packed with ginger ale and soda crackers. I didn't believe her and had to take a look for myself. Two cases of ginger ale, three boxes of soda crackers -- Katniss, you hate soda crackers, why start now -- In addition, Peeta's a baker; he'd never stoop so low as soda crackers. I mentioned a pregnancy test to you last night, but I found an open box of Clearblue in the vanity. The box said it contained three tests, but there was only one left. It's obvious you are pregnant, so tell me: have you been seeing an OB-GYN? Please tell me you have. I know you're a responsible young woman, Katniss."

Katniss swallows but she decides she needs to face the music. She shakes her head and tells her mother, "No. I haven't yet been to see a doctor."

Her mother's face registers shock. No, not shock. Disappointment. "Katniss, why not? You have health insurance, don't you? That should have been the first thing you did when you found out you were pregnant!"

Katniss hangs her head in shame.

"Unless -- you're thinking about not keeping it," her mother says, slowly.

"No!" Katniss cries. "How can you think that? Of course I'm keeping it. It's mine and Peeta's. It's -- precious."

"But all you've been doing," Mrs. Everdeen says, her voice shaking with anger, "is taking these pre-natal vitamins. That's it?"

"Yes," Katniss says, gesturing weakly to Peeta. "He bought them right when we found out I was pregnant."

"Well, at least someone's thinking," Mrs. Everdeen says, her lips pressed tightly together. "How do you handle the morning sickness when you're at work?"

"I have a bag of Jolly Ranchers," Katniss says."It helps. At least, I haven't had any episodes the past week."

"Your OB-GYN could give you a prescription to help control the nausea. I could have told you that if I'd known." Her mother shakes her head. "If Prim and I hadn't surprised you, you wouldn't have told us, would you? Oh, sweetie, _when_ were you planning to tell us?"

Katniss is silent. She knows her mother's right. If Prim and her mother hadn't come, she would have taken her time telling them. For the first time, she realizes how wrong that would have been. For the first time, she realizes that her longing for privacy might not be altogether healthy. She fears judgment so much, why is that? And she anticipates it. Perhaps that's why she hung on too long to her failing relationship with Gale.

Her mother sighs. "Well," she says, "the two of you are going to be parents, you'd better make sure you know how to keep my grandchild healthy! You have a lot to learn!"

Peeta doesn't say a word, only listens intently to what Katniss's mother is saying. At one point, he links his hand with Katniss's and gives it a soft squeeze, and just knowing that he's with her on this, knowing that they're together no matter what, makes Katniss tremendously calm.


	59. KATNISS DREAMS OF A REINDEER, Consisting of Parts I and II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little break from reality: Katniss has reindeer dreams.
> 
> The reindeer has blue eyes.
> 
> Smut is here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do NOT ask me from where. I wrote this four years ago.

Katniss is walking on a meadow lightly dusted with snow when she sees it: the reindeer.

It wears some kind of a maroon coat or vest. It looks at her with patient, blue eyes, allowing her to get nearer and nearer. She's carrying a bow and arrow. She's probably out hunting with her father.

But what has happened to her father? He has vanished, leaving Katniss by herself in the middle of a wide meadow.

Ahead, a jagged line of towering trees, each dusted with snow. Strange green lights glimmer from the shadows under the trees.

Katniss's instincts tell her that she must follow the reindeer; the blue eyes have her completely mesmerized. She will follow this creature wherever it leads: over chasms, waterfalls, even glaciers.

_Glaciers?_

Yes, even glaciers.

She will study the reindeer, as astronomists study the planets. She will gaze into the watery depths of the reindeer's startlingly blue eyes.

The reindeer leads her deeper and deeper into the forest. The trees block her view of the sky, but just before she entered the forest she noted that there was a moon, and it was full.

She and the reindeer end up in a forest clearing. She approaches the reindeer, one hesitant step at a time. The reindeer bows its head in an encouraging fashion.

Now she's close enough to touch the thick antlers. They feel velvety smooth, and yet hard.

"What is your name, you beautiful thing?" Katniss whispers.

The reindeer seems suddenly very shy. It drops its head, in a manner almost flirtatious.

Katniss feels a strange heat pulsing between her thighs.

Do reindeer mate with humans?

What a silly thought.

No, as it turns out, not silly at all, because the reindeer suddenly plants its forelegs on Katniss's shoulders. She has a clear view of its stomach -- white, mottled. She smells its earthy scent.

The reindeer, as it happens, does have a name, for it enters her head with great clarity: PEETA.

The reindeer's name is Peeta.

What a strange name!

She is silent, standing motionless while the reindeer rubs its antlers on the side of her face.

Umm, Katniss thinks. You are such an affectionate reindeer! And your member is REALLY REALLY big! And -- what do you want, dear sweet charming and flirtatious reindeer?

The reindeer's voice is startlingly human, and deep. "I want you, Katniss. Only you."

* * *

"Katniss! Katniss!"

"Mmm?" Katniss mumbles. "Peeta, how do you know my name?" Her eyes are still closed, but she turns toward Peeta and flings a leg over his waist. "I'm going to warn you, I've never ridden a reindeer before."

"A reindeer -- ? What the hell?" Peeta wonders.

"I don't know what I expected," Katniss murmurs. "But you're soooo tall." Her right hand snakes down to his boxers and traces his length over the material. "And you're soooo big." Her hand continues to stroke him, almost absentmindedly.

"How many horns does a reindeer have? Never mind. Silly question. One is more than enough." Her voice turns smoky. "I want you."

Peeta's left hand slides down her waist, to cup her between her legs. She's dripping. He pushes her shoulder lightly and she falls easily on her back.

"Don't run away from me," Katniss says, still with her eyes closed.

"I won't," Peeta murmurs into her ear. "You have me now."

"We're due in July," Katniss mumbles. "We're having a little reindeer baby. We're going to call him -- George."

"George?" Peeta frowns. "Who is George?"

"George Michael, from Wham. I know he's not on my team but still, I had a huge crush on him."

"Oh." He slides two thick fingers inside her.

"Mmm, you're not quite as thick as I thought," Katniss says.

"Do you like me?" Peeta asks, he pulls his fingers out and starts circling her clit.

"Yes, I love you, I want to ride you."

* * *

At some point, Katniss slips out of the dream and she knows it's Peeta she's riding. She looks down at him, studies his face, what he looks like when he's gripped by desire. She always wants to see him this way.

Peeta reaches up to grab one of her breasts but she impatiently bats his hand away.

"They're tender," she says. "Don't."

Besides, she doesn't want anything to take away from her focus on his eyes, his mouth -- not at this very moment, when she's riding him.

Peeta gasps, and it's quickly over. Katniss slides off him. She rubs her belly. She's so glad it's not uncomfortable yet. But -- damn, she's got to go to the bathroom. She prays Prim isn't still awake.

When she comes back to the bed, she slides over to Peeta and rests her head on his chest.

Peeta pushes a few strands of hair away from her face. "Wow, tonight you were just -- " He chuckles. "I don't know how to describe it."

Katniss lifts her head to look at him. "Are you tired? Did I tire you out?"

"Yeah. But it's a good kind of tired. Where'd that wild girl come from," he says, sounding amused.

"It's hormones. Making me needy. Unfortunately, I think it's just gonna get worse."

"Why unfortunately?" Peeta says. "I like it."

Katniss feels herself fading. She yawns.

"I had a weird dream," she says.

"A dream?"

"Yeah. I was hunting with my dad in the woods when I saw this reindeer."

"A reindeer, huh?" Peeta says, chuckling. "Interesting." He turns so he's resting on his side, facing her. He rests one arm around her waist. "So, how big was this reindeer?"

"Pretty big," Katniss says, smiling and running her hand over Peeta's chest. "It had blue eyes so, I don't know, I kinda trusted it. I followed it and it kept leading me deeper and deeper into a forest. I wasn't scared, though."

"No?" Peeta says. "That's good."

"Not even when it reared up on its hind legs and put its forelegs on my shoulders."

"You're very brave," Peeta says. "Most women would probably have fainted."

"And then it told me its name was Peeta. And I decided to ride it."

There's a short silence. Then Peeta says, "I wonder where I put those reindeer ears."

"I hope you didn't throw them away," Katniss says. "They really suit you."

Peeta laughs.


	60. LORI'S DINER

It's almost 10 a.m. they're sitting in a booth in Lori's Diner. Peeta offered to cook breakfast for all of them, but seeing the dark rings under his eyes, Mrs. Everdeen insisted on treating them to breakfast out. "It'll be good for us to get out of the apartment," she says.

They make their way slowly through Union Square. There are throngs of people, and the air has that special buzz that comes from anticipation and conversation, both of them fueled by cold and the rich, mingled scents of hot coffee and hot chocolate. Katniss sucks determinedly on her Jolly Ranchers. She felt so stupid when her mother said, this morning, that an OB-GYN could have prescribed something for her nausea. Of course her mother would know something like that. Why does Katniss always find a way to make things hard for herself?

They stop for a moment and watch the ice skating. She hangs on to Peeta's hand, solid and bracing. She tucks into his side and wonders how soon they can have a sonogram. Her mind cuts in and out of the conversation, and she's not really listening any more to Prim's excited chatter.

Eventually, they find themselves in front of the giant Christmas tree.

"Oooh, can we stop for a picture?" Prim begs.

Peeta offers to take the shot and Prim hands him her cell. Then she and Katniss and their mother pose, linking their arms.

"Hey, look up," Peeta says to Katniss, grinning. "Focus!"

Katniss sticks her tongue out at him; that's when Peeta takes the shot. She scowls and Peeta laughs. He's handing the phone back to Prim when a passerby comes up and taps him on the arm. "Get in the picture," the woman says. "Go on, join them." So he does. He positions himself between Katniss and Prim, draping an arm over each of their shoulders. Mrs. Everdeen stands on Prim's other side.

"Thanks," Mrs. Everdeen says to the woman. "You're very kind. My daughter just loves that tree."

"You from out of town?" the woman asks.

"We're from Seattle, all of us," Mrs. Everdeen says.

"No kidding!" the woman says. "All four of you?"

"All four of us," Prim interjects. "Though my sister -- that's her -- lives here now, with her boyfriend."

"Oh, that's your sister?" the woman says. "I thought for sure the three of you were related -- " the woman indicates Peeta, Prim and Mrs. Everdeen. "But. Wow. You can never tell, can you? Well, have a Merry Christmas!" the woman waves and walks off.

"Chatty," Mrs. Everdeen observes.

"They're like that here," Katniss says, and shrugs.

"This going up on your Facebook page?" Katniss asks Prim.

"Oh you know it! Hey, why haven't you been liking the pictures I posted of you and Peeta?"

Katniss shrugs. "I'm not that much on Facebook."

"But you've got to like them, or people will think -- "

"Oh, who cares what people think," Katniss huffs.

Peeta gives her a curious look. "We'll do it the minute we get home," Peeta says.

Prim smiles. Katniss rolls her eyes but doesn't contradict her boyfriend.

They get to the diner, and Katniss asks for a booth. They're led to one towards the back, where it's quieter.

"Cute place," Prim says, looking over the miniature jukebox that rests on the table. "Kat, you like Careless Whisper?"

"Oh, you know it," Katniss says, smiling at her little sister.

Katniss starts singing softly, swaying her head in time to the music: "I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm, Though it's easy to pretend . . . "

"Let's look for another song," Prim suddenly says.

Katniss straightens up. "What's wrong with that song? It's my favorite George Michael."

Prim sings, "Should've known better than to cheat a friend. Seriously? That's not your song anymore."

"So what is my song?" Katniss says, looking at her sister with narrowed eyes.

"Let me see," Prim says, flipping over the songs. "Why don't they have Ariane Grande or Kendrick Lamarr?"

"You like Kendrick Lamarr?" Katniss says, rolling her eyes.

"Why not? Heard Swimming Pool?"

"No, I don't believe I have," Katniss says, drily.

"Delly and I love it."

Somehow, Katniss has a hard time picturing Delly and Prim, both girls blonde and blue-eyed, listening to that kind of music.

"Katniss, have you bought any maternity clothes?" her mother asks.

Katniss stares. "No. I'm not even showing yet, Mom."

"But you will. Soon," her mother says. "Are you two months along?"

"I -- " Katniss starts. An image of she and Peeta in the bathtub rises, unbidden, from her memory. She stops. Under the table, Peeta reaches for her hand.

"Hmph," Prim says, watching her sister's face.

Peeta jumps in. "Yeah, she's about two months."

"Most first-time mothers don't start to show until their fourth or fifth month even. Still, I want us to get some clothes for you, so you don't have to worry about it later."

"Mom, it's fine," Katniss says. "I can just borrow some of Peeta's shirts."

"Katniss?" her mother says, "No. And you need flats, too."


	61. HELICOPTER BOYFRIEND

"Hey," Prim says, peeking over Peeta's shoulder at his screen.

Her mother and Katniss are in the bedroom, looking over some loose clothing they bought today: expandable-waist pants, loose tops.

"I'm going to be swimming in these," Katniss complains.

"Not for long," her mother says.

Prim rolls her eyes. Katniss is so lame sometimes.

She wanders out to the living room to see what Peeta's up to.

Peeta has his laptop open on the dining room table. She watches him for a few moments. He's so intent he doesn't even sense her presence. Quietly, as quietly as she can, she tiptoes over to him.

"Are those baby mobiles?" Prim asks, a big smile breaking out on her face.

Peeta blushes. "Yeah," he admits.

"Awww, that's so sweet," Prim says, feeling suddenly wistful.

"I read somewhere . . . " Peeta starts, before allowing his voice to fade into a chuckle.

Prim pokes him in the side. "What? I always knew you were going to be a helicopter boyfriend."

"A helicopter boyfriend?" Peeta asks, confused.

"You know, the type who's always hovering."

"Oh," Peeta says. His eyes flit back to the screen.

Prim watches over his shoulder. He clicks on a few more items.

"This must be really boring to you," he says, after a while.

"No, as a matter of fact. I'm very excited to be an aunt," Prim says.

"I read somewhere that babies who are visually stimulated develop bigger brains . . . "

Prim giggles.

Peeta blushes. "What? Does that sound stupid? Yes, I've been so absorbed in baby stuff it's not even funny. If my buddies saw me now . . . "

"Peeta," Prim says, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You are going to be the best father."

Peeta points to something on his screen: "See that one? It reminds me of an Alexander Calder. I really like it."

Prim nods, not daring to ask who Alexander Calder is. The mobile Peeta likes has a lot of bright colors. It's all shapes: ovals, triangles, rectangles.

"Nice," she murmurs.

"It's important to have the baby exposed to fine art," Peeta murmurs, almost as if he's talking to himself. Prim watches him curiously. He looks up suddenly, startling her.

"It's just daydreaming," he says. "It's really silly. Want me to start dinner? You look like you might be hungry."

"I'm not hungry," Prim says. "Daydreams are fun." Then she asks, in a softer voice, "Did you get it? The thing I told you to get for Katniss for Christmas? You got the picture of my Dad I sent?

Peeta's eyes shine with gratitude. "I did. Thank you so much. I finally know what your Dad looks like. Katniss looks a lot like him."

Prim nods. "Everyone says that."

It's probably true. Other than photographs, Prim only has vague recollections of her father's features.

"You know your dad and my mom used to date?" she asks.

"Katniss told me. Amazing."

"And now you're going to be part of the family. For real. Giving my mom her first grandchild."

Peeta looks grave. "Thank you, Prim. It means a lot to me, to be accepted by your family."

"Mom's really excited about it," Prim says. "She likes you a lot."

"That's nice," Peeta says, smiling.

"I'm curious. What did _your_ dad look like?" Prim asks.

"I have a picture." Peeta stands so he can pull out his wallet. He hands her the picture. Prim looks carefully at it.

"He could be you. 25 years from now," she says, handing it back. "How old were you when he passed away?" she asks.

"17," Peeta says.

"Oh, that must have been hard," Prim says.

"It was."

Peeta puts the picture away.

"Can I see the locket?" Prim asks.

Peeta says regretfully, "I wrapped it already . . . . "

"Prim! What are you and Peeta whispering about over there?" Katniss says.

"Baby mobiles," Prim says, getting up quickly.

Katniss throws her a disbelieving look. "Seriously?"

Peeta turns his laptop so that Katniss can see the screen. "I like this one."

Katniss joins them at the dining room table and places one hand on Peeta's shoulder as she leans over him. Prim notices that she keeps her other hand on her stomach, as if she just can't help but cup the new life that's growing there. Prim backs away quickly and says, "I'm gonna change." Neither Peeta nor Katniss answer her, both of them utterly absorbed in looking at what's on Peeta's screen. Peeta raises an arm, wraps it around Katniss's waist, and pulls her into his lap. Prim doesn't see what comes next.


	62. FINN, JR SAYS HELLO, WORLD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

They're at the Academy of Sciences, in front of the dolphin tank, when Katniss's cell pings. She glances quickly down and says, "It's Finnick. Annie just gave birth! It's a boy! They named him Finn, Jr!"

In the picture Finnick sent, a baby with eyes the color of sea glass stares directly at the camera. His little mouth is open in a perfect O.

"Oh my God!" Peeta exclaims. People look at him curiously.

"Isn't he adorable?" Katniss murmurs, her eyes softening. "She told me she wasn't due for another week."

"Which hospital?" Peeta asks.

"UCSF, on Parnassus," Katniss says.

"Let's go over after this," Peeta says. "It's not that far."

"Who's Finnick?" Prim asks.

"He's the husband of Annie," Peeta says.

"Who's Annie?" Prim asks.

"She's a co-worker of mine," Katniss says. "She's the sweetest person."

They hold a hurried conference. Mrs. Everdeen says Peeta and Katniss should go directly to the hospital. "Prim and I will stay."

"Are you sure, Mom?" Katniss asks, biting her lower lip with a worried look.

"We'll be fine," her mother says. "You showed us how to take the bus back to the apartment."

"You have your keys, right?" Katniss asks.

"Yup!" Prim nods. "Don't worry."

"Check now. I just want to make sure," Katniss urges.

Mrs. Everdeen gives her older daughter a soft tap on the shoulder. "Go," she orders. "We'll text you when we're done here."

Katniss nods gratefully and grabs Peeta's hand. Together they make for the exit. When they are at the front steps, Katniss says, "Peeta, we should Uber it. Or -- look! there's a cab!"

Sure enough, a cab has pulled up to the steps, disgorging its passengers.

"Grab it, Peeta!" Katniss almost screams.

Peeta hurries forward; he has his hand on the door even before the cab's passengers, a startled young woman and her husband, are done scooting out.

"Where's the fire?" the cabbie says, with a smile.

"UCSF Medical Center on Parnassus," Katniss says, slightly out of breath.

"Is this some kind of emergency?" the cabbie asks.

"Yes," Katniss says. "My friend just had a baby."

* * *

Katniss and Peeta stop at the nurses' station on the fourth level of the pediatrics wing. A nurse directs them to a room which turns out to be at the very end of a long hallway. When they enter, the first thing they see is an exhausted-looking but happy Annie, cradling her son in her arms. The baby bats its tiny fists in the air. It gives a thin wail just as Annie looks up and meets their eyes. Finnick sprawls dozing in a chair, but when he hears Annie's surprised gasp, his eyes snap open. Even shaded by exhaustion, they are the most mesmerizing pair of eyes Katniss has ever seen.

"Katniss! Peeta!" Finnick exclaims, jumping to his feet. "We didn't expect you here so quick!"

"We were lucky; saw a cab unloading at the entrance and grabbed it," Peeta says. "Hey, man, congratulations."

Katniss sidles up to the bed. The baby's mouth has latched on to Annie's breast and it is gulping vigorously.

"Oh my God, Annie," Katniss murmurs. "He is so beautiful."

Annie smiles. "All babies are beautiful," she says, a beaming smile on her face as she looks down at her son.

"Na-ah!" Finnick interjects. "Just ours."

"Finn!" Annie protests.

"What? I speak the truth. Have you ever seen eyes like those?" Finnick says.

"He's beautiful because his parents are beautiful," Katniss says. She looks at Annie. "Are you all right? How was labor?"

"Not too bad," Annie says. "Seventeen hours."

"Seventeen hours!" Peeta exclaims.

"You should have heard her cuss," Finnick says. "I had no idea Annie could curse like that. She kept screaming that all men were assholes, and that she hated me."

"Yeah," Annie says. "He was a pretty big baby, and my hips are narrow, so . . . "

"Cephalopelvic disproportion," Katniss says. "Usually results in a C-section."

"Not this time," Annie says. "My OB-GYN asked me if I wanted to be put under, or to have an epidural. I told her that Finn and I had decided on natural childbirth, we didn't want any drugs at all in my system, only if there was a danger to the baby."

"I nearly lost it when the baby's heartbeat dropped," Finnick said. "I told Annie to stop being so stubborn and give the okay for a C-section."

"I knew I could do it; I was almost fully dilated. I didn't want all those hours of labor to be for nothing."

"Yeah, but," Katniss says. "Seventeen hours! Wow!"

"Well, it'll be your turn soon enough," Finnick says.

Peeta reaches out to link his hand in Katniss's.

"Annie was a champ," Finnick breathes, coming up to the bed and resting his hand on Annie's shoulder. "You wouldn't think that a tiny thing like her could push an eight-lb. baby through without painkillers, but she did it."

"He does have a big head," Katniss says, looking skeptically at the baby.

"It flexes," Finnick says. "Don't worry. It's a little bit like Alien at first, but then the baby cries and you forget everything you went through to bring him into the world."


	63. WHAT YOU WANT

Annie asks Katniss, "Want to hold him for a bit? Practice?"

Katniss shakes her head. "What if he starts crying?"

Annie says, "That's what babies do. They cry." She motions Katniss forward. Katniss isn't prepared for the soft heat of Peeta's palm as he presses her forward.

"Looks like Peeta's ready," Finnick chuckles. "More than Katniss."

"Maybe we should give her a beer first," Annie says.

"I don't think there's alcohol in this wing," Finnick says.

"You can do it," Peeta says encouragingly to Katniss.

"Such faith in me," Katniss says, rolling her eyes.

"Here," Annie says, gesturing to Katniss to open her arms. Then she looks critically at how Katniss's arms are positioned and says, More like this and A little wider until Katniss looks comfortable and ready. "I'm gonna pass him over now."

Katniss readies her arms. But nothing quite prepares her for the warm weight of Finn, Jr. And for the bewildered look in his sea glass eyes. And for the sudden entrance of the young, red-haired nurse who chirps, "Here to take your vitals, Mrs. Odair!" Katniss doesn't miss the way the young nurse's eyes wander over Peeta and then Finnick, lingering a beat longer on Finnick.

"Not now, I have visitors," Annie protests.

"Sorry, doctor's orders," the nurse laughs. "He'll be by in a few minutes."

Katniss clutches Finn, Jr. tenderly. Peeta comes up beside her and peeks over her shoulder. "Look at his hair," Peeta murmurs. "Is that red or brown?"

"Red, I think," Katniss says. "More like Annie's."

"Are these your relatives?" the nurse says, as she nonchalantly takes Annie's blood pressure.

"No," Annie says. "They're my best friends."

A middle-aged man in a white doctor's coat suddenly steps into the room. "Hello, Mrs. -- um -- " he looks quickly down at his chart and then back again. "Mrs. Odair! How are we this morning?"

"Oh, hello, doctor," Annie says, without any visible excitement. "I'm sore all over."

"As is only to be expected," the doctor says. "Would you like me to prescribe painkillers?"

"No," Annie shakes her head emphatically. "I'm breastfeeding."

"That's it! Stick to your guns!" the doctor quips.

Katniss gingerly hands the baby back to Finnick. "We'll get going, let you and Annie have some rest," she says. Finnick takes Finn, Jr. and starts cooing at him. Katniss pulls Peeta back and gives a little finger-wave to Annie, who smiles briefly before turning her attention back to her doctor.

When Katniss and Peeta are in the hallway, Katniss says to Peeta, "I don't want a doctor like that. Did you see the way he looked at his clipboard right after he said Hi? He didn't even know Annie's last name."

"Yeah," Peeta says. "He probably has dozens of patients."

"I think I want a woman," Katniss says.

"Because they'll be more sensitive?" Peeta asks. He reaches for her hand as they make their way to the elevators.

"I want to breastfeed," Katniss says. "I think it might be easier with a woman advising me."

"Your mom can advise you," Peeta says.

Katniss doesn't answer. Peeta doesn't miss the look of resolve on her face. He presses the button for the "down" elevator and they wait silently, each lost for a moment in their own thoughts.

There's no one else in the elevator; Katniss leans against Peeta. "Tonight," she says, "I'll start looking at in-network doctors on the insurer's website."

"Sounds good," Peeta says. "Your Mom will probably have a thing or two to say about that, too, I'm sure."

* * *

  
Katniss texts Prim: Hey, how are you doing?

Prim: We're still here. Do you know the difference between a porpoise and a dolphin?

Katniss: No. So should Peeta and I head there?

Prim: I think I want to be a marine biologist. Mom and I are thinking of checking out Strybing Arboretum.

Katniss: That's great! So we'll meet you at the entrance to Strybing.

Katniss tells Peeta, "We're meeting them in front of the Arboretum."

Peeta smiles. He knows Katniss loves plants. "Ever been there before?" he asks.

"Never," Katniss says. "I always wanted to check it out but never had the time."

"You'll love it," Peeta says, grabbing her hand.

"You've been there," Katniss says, curiously.

"Just once," Peeta says.

* * *

"Hey! Katniss! Peeta!" Katniss hears Prim's excitable voice just as she and Peeta get out of the cab. "Don't let the cab go!"

Prim runs up to them. Her mother trails several steps behind. Katniss notices that her mother looks a little tired. The day's turned gray and cold, suddenly.

"They close the arboretum at five," Mrs. Everdeen says. "They just told us."

"Oh, no!" Katniss says.

"We could go for hot chocolate," Peeta says. "There's a place called Maya, right outside the Park. They have the best hot chocolate."

"But I can't, I -- " Katniss says. "No caffeine, remember? Chocolate has caffeine."

Peeta colors. "That's right. I'm sorry. I forgot."

"Let's just go home," Mrs. Everdeen says. "I need to get off my feet."

During the cab ride home, Prim tells them about the exhibits she and her mother saw. "My favorite was the one about seahorses. And the tidal pools." Then she says, "How was the baby?"

"Oh, what?" Katniss says.

"Annie's baby. Weren't you just over to see her?" Prim says.

"Oh, right! Sorry," Katniss says. She doesn't know why her mind wanders so much lately. Her hand comes up and rubs her belly again. Prim looks at it and turns away.


	64. SPEAKING TO THE BABY

Katniss lies on her bed, her arm over her eyes. She hears Prim, her mother, and Peeta talking in soft voices outside. She doesn't know why, in the cab she suddenly began feeling so tired. Peeta could tell. As soon as they entered the apartment, he told her to go ahead and lie down.

She hears the bedroom door creak open. "Hey," Peeta says softly. She feels the mattress dip next to her. He bends over her and presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. "How are you feeling," he asks.

"I'm a little queasy," Katniss says. "I'm sorry. I think I'm going to have to skip dinner."

Peeta lowers his hand over her belly. She covers his hand with her own. "I'm sorry. I'm such a wet blanket. Go outside and stay with them."

"I will in a minute," Peeta says. "I want to stay with you and my baby for a while." He lays his head down over her stomach. "I love you," he says.

"Who are you talking to, me or the baby?" Katniss says.

"Both of you, of course," Peeta says.

"The baby can't hear yet," Katniss says.

"Something tells me it can," Peeta says. He lifts his head and runs his warm hand under her shirt.

"I like that," Katniss says. "Your hand feels like a hot blanket."

"Just stay here," Peeta says, stroking her stomach gently. "You need to rest. You look a little pale. Want some tea?"

"I'll be fine," Katniss says. "You spoil me too much."

"No one can spoil you too much," Peeta says.

There's a soft tap on the door. "Peeta?" Prim says. "Can I borrow your laptop?"

"Sure!" Peeta says. "It's on the dining room table. There's no password." He starts to get up. "Guess I better go out there."

"My sister adores you," Katniss says. "When she starts getting too much, you have to shut her down."

"I just accepted her friend request," he says. "She wants to tag all her pictures of us."

"Cause she wants all her friends to see what you look like," Katniss says.

"Really? Why?" Peeta says.

"Seriously? You're Cinna's favorite model and you don't know why?"

"Speaking of Cinna -- I did just hear from him. He's offering me a full-time position as his assistant/artist/model. Whatever that means. I can start right after New Year's."

Katniss gasps. "Really? That's wonderful, Peeta! You should have told me earlier!"

"I just got the text from him today, while we were at the Academy. I was going to tell you, and then Finnick texted about Annie having the baby, and then I completely forgot -- "

"Come here," Katniss says. "Sit down."

When Peeta complies, she wraps her arms around him and hugs him tight. He leans his head on hers and says, "I don't want you to worry about anything, Katniss, not one thing . . . "

* * *

When Peeta leaves the bedroom, he finds Prim and her mother at the dining room table, both looking avidly at something on Peeta's laptop.

"Peeta, you have a friend named Cinna -- ?" Prim asks.

"Yeah. He has a photography studio. I've done a few gigs for him," Peeta says. "How'd you -- ?" He walks over and stops. Prim has Cinna's Facebook page on the screen. The cover photo is -- Peeta's back. The Moth & Dagger shoot. "Where'd you find that?" he says.

"You accepted my friend request, so I got to see your page, and Cinna posted some things that are on your timeline . . . I clicked on Cinna's name, and got to his Facebook page. I recognized the back art right away. Even though your face is hidden!"

Peeta blushes. "Umm-- " His jeans are pulled low and --

"The shots are great, Peeta!" Mrs. Everdeen says. "I love them! They're so -- so -- "

"Erotic?" Prim says.

Now it's her mother's turn to blush. "I meant artistic," Mrs. Everdeen says. "They're so artistic."

Prim says, "I want a tattoo!"

"Hey," Katniss says, walking into the dining room, "What's all the excitement about?"

"I just decided: I'm going to get a tattoo," Prim tells her.

"No, you are not," Katniss says.

"I am, too! I showed Mom Peeta's shoot!"

Katniss walks up to the screen and her jaw drops. "That's you!" she says, grabbing Peeta's hand. "Oh -- wait, whose Facebook page is that?"

"Cinna's," Prim says. "He must REALLY like Peeta!"

She pulls Peeta's laptop closer. "I just thought of something. Let's see how many Likes that cover photo has. Oooh! 2,064 likes! Peeta, you're famous!"

"I don't know that many people . . . " Peeta says, shaking his head, his blush deepening.

"They're probably just girls who think you're hot. One of them's Delly. I told her about you. Let's see if there's anyone else I know. Oh, I have to press like because you're my sister's boyfriend. There. Done! Who's Enobaria? She looks SCARY!"


	65. "IS THIS OKAY?"

"Is this okay, Katniss?" Peeta asks. He's inside her again, but not moving very much. Not like earlier, when she was on her hands and knees, and his hand was over her mouth again. Because, it's hard to keep from making sounds when he takes her in that way.

He worries, he worries, he worries. That something might happen, he'll do something, if he enters, he'll harm the child, in some way, some way that will damage him/them, forever.

"Oh God, Peeta," Katniss whimpers, as Peeta gently rocks between her legs. Her need for him is insatiable. Every night: the sweat, the sheets, the tangled legs.

And then, Prim. Prim. What is she going to do about Prim?

Peeta says he's not going to tell his family.

She doesn't ask why not. Not after what he told her about his mother.

_Let her burn!_

Then, he adds one more thing: something his older brother said to him last year, when he was leaving for San Francisco: "You're dead to us. We hope you fail."

The homelessness fits, now. Makes sense.

How could his brother say that to him!

Something could have happened to him!

Thank God for Father Haymitch. They will see Father Haymitch the day before Christmas to give him a present: a warm, hand-knit scarf that Katniss found. Cashmere. Expensive. But Katniss feels she owes Father Haymitch the world for taking care of Peeta, for giving him a bed at night.

There's something else Katniss thinks about. The thought -- it floats away from her.

"Is this okay?" Peeta's saying again. He touches his forehead to hers. "Is this okay?"

"Yes, yes," Katniss gasps. "Keep going."

* * *

Katniss gets the names of two OB-GYNs from her gynecologist. Both are women; she decided not to make gender a stipulation, but those are the names she ended up with anyway.

One woman, Cornelia Snow, says she isn't taking new patients, which is a relief to Katniss since she sounds a little abrupt.

The next one is a young woman named Hillary Jackson, and Katniss knows she's a mother herself. She asks, and the woman tells her she has a three-year-old son.

The next thing she does is make an appointment for the day after New Year's. Prim and her mom have to put off their departure by a day, but it's okay. They want to be there for Katniss's first doctor's visit.

Now that that's taken care of, Katniss can finally focus on Christmas. Which is only a day away. She has Peeta's present, knows what she'll get her Mom, but Prim is a more complicated decision.

They make plans with her mother and Prim to meet back in the apartment, 5 p.m. on Christmas Eve. There's a choral concert at Old Saint Mary's Cathedral, just a few blocks away, and they'll walk there together.

Then, dinner back at the apartment. Peeta, of course, has everything taken care of in that department, though Mrs. Everdeen insists on preparing her "famous" Portuguese soup (already in the fridge; just needs to be re-heated) and Prim baked orange cookies early that morning.

* * *

Katniss and Peeta are standing in front of the Ritz-Carlton with a knot of other people, taking pictures of the Christmas tree. It's been a good day. They're headed back to the apartment, arms laden with packages, when Katniss stops, points. "I want a picture of that," she says. "For baby's first Christmas."

Peeta gives her a look. "All right," he says.

She smiles. When Peeta's done taking the picture, she grasps his hand. "Thank you, Peeta. But there's something else I need to ask you."

He looks down at her and murmurs, "Yes. Anything."

"I know this will be hard. I -- " Katniss swallows. "I want you to get in touch with someone in your family. Not your mom. Maybe one of your brothers. To let them know? About -- us. Me and the baby. I'm not saying this because they deserve to know. But because you deserve to tell them, Peeta. You deserve it. You deserve that."

Peeta's face is blank. "Katniss, I don't know."

"I know what your brother said. That you're dead to them. But it's not true. You're not dead. And most of all, not to them. And they can't just keep pretending that it's so, because it's not right. Your family has to stop pretending they're not hurting you, Peeta. And you have to stop pretending that they don't hurt you anymore, because they do. In here." Katniss brings her right hand up to her chest. "And in here." She lowers her hand to her belly. "I won't pretend, because I can't. Because I'm about to be a mother, Peeta."

She stares intently at him and he looks away. Slowly, his hand comes up and begins rubbing the back of his neck.

"I don't know if I can do that," he says softly. "But I promise I'll think about it. Okay?"

Katniss sighs. "Okay." She nods and reaches for his hand. They continue their walk back to the apartment.


	66. SPECIAL DELIVERY

When Katniss and Peeta reach their building, they see a delivery man standing just outside, stamping his feet and blowing on his hands. By his feet lies a rolled up Christmas tree.

"Hey," he says, when he sees them. "Could you let me in? I have a delivery for -- " The man pauses and reads off a card: "Apt. 103. Everdeen and Mellark?"

Katniss comes to a dead stop. "That's us. But I think there must be some mistake. We didn't order a tree."

"You sure?" the man says, brow wrinkling. "Father Haymitch said -- "

"That's from Father Haymitch?" Peeta breaks in.

"Yeah," the man said. "He's a friend of yours, right? I just delivered half a dozen Scotch pines to the church, courtesy of some high-tech CEO who got his first communion from Father Haymitch. And the priest asked me if I wouldn't mind running around the corner and leaving a tree for some friends. I've been waiting here for half an hour."

Just then they hear familiar voices approaching.

_Prim! Mom!_

"Your timing is excellent," Katniss says. "We just got here. And found this man, who wants to deliver a tree."

"It's for them," the man says, indicating Katniss and Peeta. "A gift from Father Haymitch."

Peeta reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. "And here's something for your trouble," he says, pulling out a 10-dollar bill.

The man holds up both hands and protests, but Peeta insists.

They lug the tree up the stairs: it isn't very big, thankfully. And it does smell heavenly. Such a good, clean, pine scent. Katniss has to fight off an urge to bury her nose in the branches.

Peeta brings the tree over in front of the bay window and cuts the string around it. The branches are a little mushed, but he says they'll fluff out, gradually.

"And how do you know so much about Christmas trees?" Katniss asks, watching him.

"We had one in the bakery every Christmas," Peeta says simply. "My father always insisted it be a fresh tree. We'd usually get a 12-foot. And I was usually in charge of decorating it."

"I remember!" Prim puts in. "Your bakery always had the best Christmas decorations. Did you do the window displays, too, Peeta?"

"I did," Peeta says, smiling.

"You're a real artist," Mrs. Everdeen says. "Those window displays made the whole street come alive."

"Thank you," Peeta says. "It was a lot of fun. My mom said I overdid it, but I don't think you can ever overdo Christmas, can you?"

Prim listens avidly. "That's right, Peeta," she says. "You can never overdo Christmas."

"I wish we had a star to put on top of it," Katniss murmurs. "Then we could each make a wish."

"We don't need a star to make a wish," Peeta says. "I made one already."

"What? You mean, just now?" Katniss says.

"Yup."

"What did you wish for?" Katniss asks.

"Can't tell. Otherwise, it might not come true," Peeta says, taking Katniss in his arms.

"Then let's all make a wish," Mrs. Everdeen says, smiling.

* * *

They barely have time to eat before the concert of Christmas music at Old Saint Mary's Cathedral, so they quickly decide to have just the soup Mrs. Everdeen prepared and have the rest of the meal when they get back.

It takes Katniss's mother just a few minutes to heat up the soup she prepared, and then Peeta carries the steaming pot over to the table, where Katniss has set out soup bowls and spoons.

He takes a deep breath. "That certainly smells delicious," he says. "You used beef shank?"

"Yes," Mrs. Everdeen says. "And white beans. And spicy sausage. And of course potatoes."

"I'll have to get the recipe from you," Peeta says.

"You don't need a recipe, Peeta," Mrs. Everdeen says. "You can make it with any kind of beans and sausage. You don't even have to use beef shank. Any leftover will do."

"But you only make it once a year," Prim says, a little reproachfully.

"That makes it really special," her mother says. "Now, everyone, dig in!"


	67. MEMORIES FROM BABY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS (Katniss' Point of View)

Our Christmas Eve dinner is nothing fancy. We have Mom's famous Portuguese soup, YES! Peeta makes baked chicken & brown rice casserole and goes easy on the paprika. I taste nothing.

For dessert we have Peeta's rice pudding. He says it won't upset my tummy; he's right. Prim made orange cookies but something about them doesn't agree with me. To make me feel better, Peeta helps himself to about five, and even for him that winds up being too much, lol

Regretfully, NO champagne (Next year for sure!)

At midnight, we gather around the tree. I give Peeta my present first. It's a blue cashmere scarf. "Because," I tell him, "it matches your eyes." There's motes of happiness dancing in the blue of them for a long, long time after.

Peeta gives me a locket. When I open it, there are pictures of Mom, Prim, and my Dad. I cry of course. I want to know how Peeta got Dad's pictures, and he tells me, Prim. I wish there had been space for a picture of Peeta. When I say it, he hugs me and doesn't speak. It's so rare that Peeta is at a loss for words, but he is then.

That's not all he gives me. He's made a beautiful sketch of dandelions and irises. It's done with thick charcoal pencil with, here and there, flashes of vivid yellow and blue. He's enclosed the art in a simple cherrywood frame and signed his name in the lower right hand corner, with December2016 underneath. He really is an artist. I tell him I'm going to hang it right over our bed.

Prim gives me her present: a baby book, **_What To Expect When You're Expecting_**. Well, technically, it's for me and Peeta because she wrote both our names on the book's title page. She says she asked Mom for books her patients in the hospital like, and this was what my mom said was most expectant mothers' # 1 choice.

Mom's present is another baby book: _**The Baby Owner's Manual**_. She, like Prim, wrote my and Peeta's names on the title page.

She also gives me and Peeta a fancy, high-tech blender for making healthy fruit and vegetable drinks and, to go with it, a Williams Sonoma cookbook on juicing.

My present for Prim is a gift certificate to H & M, and for my mother a gift certificate for six hourlong massages from the spa near our house, La Belle.

Then, when all the presents are opened, Peeta insists on saying something to our baby. Which means Prim has to, as well. She bends down over my tummy and says "I'm your aunt and I'm going to spoil you silly."

Even my mother says something. I just wrap my hands around my middle and say "I love you, baby." Then I cry. I can't help it.


	68. PILLOW TALK: LOSS

"You and your sister are really sweet," Peeta says, in the bedroom after. They're lying in bed, it'll be light soon. Neither have slept.

Katniss feels her chest tighten. "Well, she can be a handful at times," Katniss says, and laughs.

_I don't want to talk about this._

"How did you and your brothers get along? Not now. I mean, when you were young?" Katniss asks.

"We were -- normal," Peeta says.

"Normal. What does that even mean," Katniss says.

_Should I keep going? I'll keep going._

Katniss turns to face Peeta.

_He's thinking about something. He has that inward look._

"Do you ever think about them?"

"Sometimes. Less and less."

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"Almost two years ago now. Everything sort of fell apart after my dad died."

"I'm sorry, I made you sad."

"I dream about him sometimes," Peeta says. "In my dream, we'll be sharing a joke or something. I used to wake up laughing. Then I'd be happy for, like, five seconds. Those moments -- when you realize you've just been dreaming, they're the worst."

Katniss touches his cheek, then lifts her face to press a soft kiss to Peeta's mouth.

"You were really close, weren't you?"

"We were. After he died, home became -- more like a foreign country. I knew I had to leave."

"Peeta," Katniss murmurs, kissing him deeply. "I'm your home now. We're your home."

"I'm never going back there," Peeta says, moving closer. "Never." His arms wrap around her, tighten. "I need you, Katniss. So much."

Peeta shudders. Katniss strokes his hair gently and whispers that she loves him. Her hands feel for the tell-tale scar on one shoulder. Was that from a time when his mother hit him? Or was that from later, when he was in the army?

_Where is that witch now?_

"What about you, Katniss? Do you dream about your father?"

"I do. I mean, I have. Not often. I think, three times." She swallows. "Mostly, after he died, I'd get panic attacks. I'd start thinking, what if my Mom died, too? What would happen to me and Prim? Me and Prim started sleeping with Mom at night. She didn't mind. We did that for maybe two years after my dad passed away."

"It's really nice, the way you, your Mom and Prim are so close."

"Yeah. And that only happened after my father died. For a while, I was your typical rebellious teenager, breaking curfew, mouthing off. No, I was not sweet. We had screaming fights, my mom and me. But that's over now. That's behind us."

Katniss yawns and burrows into Peeta's chest. "Can we sleep now," she murmurs.

Peeta smiles and kisses the top of her head. As she fades, she thinks she hears him say one more thing, but he says it so softly, she's not sure she isn't dreaming: "My dad loved your mother. I know why."

Peeta holds her. Katniss's eyes close. Finally, they do fall asleep. Only a few hours later, Prim rises, and then her mom. They pad around the apartment, trying to be quiet.

"Pick up the wrapping paper, Prim," her mother says. "I'll make us breakfast."

Prim yawns but doesn't argue with her mother. Katniss and Peeta probably won't be up for hours. The sun's bright, calling her to the window. "We should do something," she whispers softly to herself.


	69. SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS/ GETTING TO YES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EEEK, something really important happens in this chapter.
> 
> I don't want to spoil it, but still.
> 
> Something really important happens in this chapter.

Katniss stretches and yawns. She can feel Peeta all along her left side; he's pressed against her, but still asleep. She lets herself enjoy the feeling for a few moments, then side-eyes the bedside clock. She gasps when she sees the time: 10:27 a.m.

_Oh no!_

Quickly, she gets up (trying not to jostle Peeta too much) and slips on her robe. Then she pads to the living room. For a moment, she's disoriented. It's too quiet. The sofa-bed is back in its usual position. The mess of boxes and Christmas wrapping she left scattered under the tree after they opened their presents has disappeared. The two pregnancy books she got from her mother and Prim are placed neatly on the coffee table.

"Mom?" she says uncertainly.

She pads to the kitchen. There, occupying pride of place on the counter, is the brand new juicer. It's huge and gleaming, the Mercedes Benz of juicers. Overkill. Katniss hopes her mother didn't spend too much for it.

A post-it note is taped to the fridge: **Mom and I are catching a movie at the Metreon. We'll** **text after.** \-- Prim

She glances at the dining room table. There, sitting almost in the exact center, is Peeta's laptop. He's been leaving it out for Prim, who likes to Snapchat with her friends.

Katniss glances quickly behind her, at the bedroom door. She's not sure why she has to check, but in the next instant, she moves to the dining room table. Quickly, before she has time to secondguess, she opens Peeta's laptop. Her own is in the bedroom, and she's afraid she'll wake him if she re-enters. No, it's much better to use his.

_He won't mind._

As soon as the laptop's booted up, she googles MELLARKS BAKERY SEATTLE.

She's wanted to do this, forever. But she hasn't had much time. Even less now that she's expecting. And her thoughts haven't been very focused lately, either. But -- it's Peeta's family. She has to know. She wants to know.

A list of entries appears and she scrolls down them. It appears there's more than one Mellarks Bakery -- so they opened a branch or branches? -- all in the Seattle metropolitan area.

Open 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Holiday Orders -- hmmm, apparently they can prepare picnic baskets. Or whatever you call those -- cornucopias -- crammed with cookies, artisan cheese (Katniss's lips curl: what the hell is an "artisan" cheese?), sausages and assorted cold cuts, wine, and dried fruit, all arranged in a reusable wicker basket.

Her stomach rumbles. She's always so hungry these days.

She checks out the Holiday Sales: Whoa, only $99.99 for a humongous gift basket called "Mellarks Signature Holiday Treats."

She clicks on a link that says ABOUT US and is about to start reading when she hears Peeta, from much closer than she expects, saying, "What are you looking at?"

She jumps, feeling like a thief who's been caught with a hand in the cookie jar. Then, she takes a deep breath. She moves so that she's no longer blocking the screen. She lets Peeta see. And she waits. She waits with her face turned to the side.

Eventually, because he's so quiet, and the mounting anxiety is killing her, she says, cautiously, "Peeta?"

"Why, Katniss?"

_Oh, God. He sounds so confused._

"Why?"

"I was curious," she says. She offers her hand and he takes it, coming closer. "That's all."

His eyes hover over the screen. "Oh."

"You didn't know -- there's a couple of Mellark bakeries around Seattle now. They expanded."

"That's good," Peeta says, taking a seat next to Katniss. "They'd been talking about it for years. My dad never wanted it, though. He said he wanted to focus on just the one store because quality would go down if you expanded."

"Well, looks like they did it recently," Katniss says softly, squeezing Peeta's hand. She brushes some hair off his forehead. "Hey, are you mad at me?"

His eyes flick over her once before moving back to the screen. "No. Why should I be mad at you? I know my family and I don't talk, but it's my last name, too, you know? And I see what you're saying, that it's important, with the baby coming, that I let someone know . . . but to me it just feels like taking a bite of a poisoned apple. And I -- it's just -- confusing. My dad incorporated, the year before he died. So it's just not a bakery. Mellarks is a family corporation. And -- " Peeta takes a deep breath. "Whatever share I have in that, if something happens to me, will go to you and our child."

Now it's Peeta's turn to look at her. "I've been thinking that, with the baby coming, we should -- God, this is an awful way to put it, but -- Katniss, will you marry me?"

Katniss stares at him for a moment.

"Umm." Peeta blushes a furious red. His hand goes to the back of his neck.

_You're adorable. And you have no idea. I could jump you right now. Right this minute._

"Peeta," Katniss says, moving closer. She reaches for his hand, brings it palm up to her cheek, then presses a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist. "Yes. It'll always be yes. With you."

Peeta closes his eyes. Then, suddenly, he grabs her. She's so startled she starts to fall backward. But his arms are there, holding her (and the baby) firmly in his embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for a while, sorry.


	70. BACK FROM THE MOVIE

There's a knock on the door of the apartment. Katniss and Peeta are fairly decent. Her robe's still on, and all he has to do is quickly pull up his boxers. But they're grateful when, instead of rushing right in, the knock is repeated. Katniss hears her mother's voice, sounding tentative: "Katniss? Peeta?"

"Mom!" Katniss calls out, her voice a little scratchy. "Come on in!" She stands up, straightening her robe, and Peeta quickly slips into the bedroom.

Then her Mom and Prim enter. "Hey!" Katniss says, as lightly as she can.

Prim's eyes narrow. "Where's Peeta?" she asks.

"Umm, I think he's still asleep," Katniss says.

_No, Little Duck. You can't guilt me over this. Even if I have swollen lips and hickeys down BOTH sides of my neck!_

"Well, we had a nice morning," her mother says.

"What movie did you see?" Katniss asks.

" _Passengers_ ," Prim says, and shrugs.

"What? You didn't like Chris Pratt?" Katniss asks, bemused at her sister's response.

"No, not really. I mean, he got to choose! And SHE didn't!" Prim says.

Mrs. Everdeen heads for the couch. "Well, I don't know about you, but he had a nice ass," she says.

"Mom!" Katniss and Prim say, simultaneously.

"What?" their mother says, kicking off her shoes. "I don't remember him looking like that on _Parks and Rec._ "

"You watch _Parks and Rec_?" Katniss says.

"Of course! Your sister makes me watch it with her," her mother says.

"Okay," Katniss says. "Well, rest up, and think about where you want to go today."

"Well, whatever SHE wants to do," her mother says, gesturing at Prim.

"I guess we could just hang out here," Prim says. "Unless -- unless you and Peeta have other plans."

"What other plans? We want to spend time with you," Katniss huffs. "I'll just go check on Peeta."

She thinks she catches Prim giving her side-eye just before she heads for the bedroom.

She opens the door to the bedroom and slips inside. Peeta's sitting up in the bed, still just in his boxers. She runs to the bed and almost flings herself over him.

"Watch it!" he cautions. "The baby!"

"Peeta?" she breathes, running her lips over his neck. "Shut up."

He lets her trace his neck with her mouth, but when she begins to move lower, he stops her.

"Katniss," he says. "We can't. They're home."

* * *

"Hey."

Prim looks up, startled, when Peeta comes out of the bedroom.

"I thought you were asleep," she says.

"Did someone tell you that?" he asks.

"Katniss."

"Well, she was mistaken. Now, hurry up and tell me what you want to do today."

Mrs. Everdeen comes out of the kitchen, looking with a puzzled expression at Prim and Peeta. "I've just been trying to master that juicer," she says. "It seemed so straightforward when the salesperson showed us. If I can't figure it out, I doubt Katniss will." Then she stops. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No," Prim says. "Peeta's just asking where we want to go today."

"I'm sure I don't know," her mother says, sitting down next to Prim and Peeta on the couch. "Why don't we leave that up to Peeta?"

"I'd like to see the wolves," Prim says suddenly.

"Wolves? Where would we see wolves in San Francisco?" her mother asks.

"At the zoo," Prim says. "I read an article on the web. There's a new exhibit at the zoo called Wolf Canyon."

"Is the zoo open today?" her mother asks.

"It is," Peeta says. "They have a reindeer romp. I was about to suggest it."


	71. THIS IS SERIOUS

"You're so good with her, Peeta," Katniss whispers.

_Good with Prim._

"You know I love your family," Peeta says.

"It's not just my family," Katniss says. "They're your family, too."

They're silent for a few moments. Then, Peeta says, "Do you think Father Haymitch would . . . "

"I was thinking that, too," Katniss says.

"Because I'd really like to, while your family's here -- "

"Right."

"Tomorrow?"

"All right. We tell them . . . tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Peeta presses a soft kiss to Katniss's knuckles.

"Peeta?" Katniss says.

"Yeah?"

"You're sure you want to? Get married, I mean? You're not just -- feeling pressured or anything? I don't want you blaming me after."

"Should I get down on my knees?"

"What?"

"I mean, for you to know that my feelings for you are real. That I want you to be my wife."

"You're making fun of me."

"No, I'm not. I told Finnick, by the way."

"You did? When?"

"Today. I texted him. Didn't Annie mention he's a lawyer? He's advising me on the pre-nup."

"He -- what???" Katniss is so hurt her words die away.

"Katniss." Peeta presses a soft kiss to her forehead. Then another to her cheek. Then a third to her mouth. "You looked just about ready to hack off my balls."

"And this is why you're kissing me?"

"Yes. I've grown quite attached to your scowl."

Katniss pushes Peeta away.

"No, listen," Peeta says, not letting her go. "It's because I don't trust my family, and I want to make sure that, whatever happens, we have someone on our side to advise us."

"One day you have to explain this whole Mellark family dynamic to me."

"Oh no. That would be a complete waste of time. No one could ever figure out my family. Trying to figure out the Mellarks? Talk about an exercise in futility."

* * *

They break the news over breakfast. Mrs. Everdeen is, surprisingly, all business.

"Finally!" she says. "I was going to bring it up if you didn't. Now you'll have to go down to City Hall -- or wherever those things get handed out -- and fill out an application for a marriage license. And you'll need proof of age, like a birth certificate. I presume you have those . . . "

Peeta's face falls.

"Oh, umm -- " he stammers.

"But your certificate of live birth must be in the public record," Mrs. Everdeen insists. "So it's just a matter of you making a formal request for a notarized copy."

"But that means we'll have to wait. That means we can't be married while you're here," Katniss says.

"Let's talk to Father Haymitch," Mrs. Everdeen says. "Maybe he can do a religious ceremony. Though Katniss, you aren't Catholic . . . "

"I don't think that will matter to Father Haymitch," Peeta says.

"But don't you have to be members of the parish to be married in his church?" Mrs. Everdeen says.

Both Prim and Katniss stare at their mother in amazement.

"What? I wasn't born yesterday," Mrs. Everdeen says. "I know how these things work. I was hoping the two of you would want to legalize your status. But I didn't want to seem like I was rushing you or anything . . . Will the church require a 'donation' for Father Haymitch to perform the ceremony? I'd gladly pay, you two have enough expenses to shoulder as it is. Let's go over right now."

"No, wait!" Katniss suddenly says.

Her mother looks sharply at her. "Katniss, what's the matter? Are you all right?"

"I want . . . " Katniss swallows, her cheeks flaming. "I think I should wear a dress."

Peeta goes up to her and wraps an arm around her shoulders. "It's not going to happen today," he reassures her. "We're just going to have a talk with Father Haymitch . . . "

Katniss closes her eyes for a moment. When she opens them again, her look is determined. "And I want -- I want a ring." She turns to Peeta. "I can't get married without a ring."

Peeta's hand goes slowly up to the back of his neck. Now, his cheeks are flaming, too. "About that. Katniss, I have a small confession to make."

"Don't tell me," Katniss says, beginning to feel sick. "You've been married all along. To your high school sweetheart back in Seattle."

"What?" Peeta says.

"I think I'm going to pass out," Katniss says, right before she does.


	72. THE ANXIOUS BRIDE

"Katniss? Katniss!"

The voice inside her head just won't go away. She bats frustratingly in its general direction.

"I'm trying -- " Katniss says.

"What? What are you trying, Katniss?"

_That sounds like Peeta!_

"I'm trying," Katniss says, "to take. An exam."

More murmuring. Directly above her.

She wants to jump up and wave her arms.

_Hey, I'm right here!_

"Katniss, Mom and I went out and bought you a dress. Don't worry, it was 70% off."

Her mind suddenly clears. "What color is it?" she asks, opening her eyes.

"Emerald green," her mother says.

Peeta's holding her right hand, Prim her left.

Katniss smiles. "Show me."

"We talked to Father Haymitch," Peeta says. "I mean, I called him and he's coming right over."

"I'm all right, Peeta," Katniss says, sitting up. "I can even stand, see?" She starts to get on her feet.

"Just stay where you are!" her mother says. "He'll be here any minute."

"What's he coming over for?" Katniss asks.

"He said he could do the ceremony right here."

"What? HERE?" Katniss starts to panic again. "No."

"Well, you got any other ideas?" Peeta asks, sounding frustrated.

"Yes. Ocean Beach."

Everyone stares at her.

"It's cold," Prim says.

"We'll have to take the Muni," Peeta says.

"You can't wear a dress," her mother says. "Not the one we got you, anyway. The skirt's short. Plus, it's windy out there. You'd be flashing everybody. You'd be giving everyone a free show."

"I want," Katniss says, eyes narrowing, "a ring. And," she takes a deep breath. "I want to go to the beauty salon."

Her mother turns to Peeta, a look of growing concern on her face. "She must have hit her head on something," her mother whispers. "She's never like this."

Peeta puts a hand on her mother's shoulder. Then he kneels in front of Katniss. "You're beautiful in every way, Katniss," he says, looking at her with so much love in his eyes. "I mean, you could wear a paper bag over your head and I'd still find you beautiful."

"Gee, thanks," Katniss says. "Setting the bar low, much?"

Peeta stares.

Katniss gets awkwardly to her feet. "Can I at least put on some make-up? Where's my cedar candle?"

"I've already gotten your wedding music playlist," Prim says. "It's on my iPod. Want to listen? Just -- promise you won't cry. There's a little Taylor, a little Hailee, and your favorite, Gemma Hayes. I could add Cyndi Lauper, if you like."

"Why do my eyelashes feel so weird?" Katniss says, blinking. "I'm not crying, am I?"

"No," Prim says. "But I don't think Mom knows how to apply mascara." She turns to her mother. "Told you not to do it while she was asleep!"

Suddenly, the doorbell buzzes.

"I'll get it!" Peeta practically bellows.

Katniss stares after him. "Who could that be?" she wonders.

Her mother comes up beside her. "Katniss, honey," her mother says soothingly, patting her shoulder. "You need to relax. It's just Father Haymitch."

In the next moment, Father Haymitch walks into the living room. He looks slightly ruddy, his cheeks wind-chapped. He rubs mittened hands together.

"Well, Peeta my boy, anything to accommodate you . . . "

He stops short when his eyes land on Katniss.

"Sweetheart," Father Haymitch says. "What's the matter? You look like you've got a tummy ache."

"Father Haymitch," Katniss says, trying hard to salvage some dignity. "Thank you for -- agreeing -- to do this."

"Sweetheart," the priest says. "I kept wondering what was taking the two of you so long. I've been waiting months now for one of you to ask me."

"You -- you have?" Katniss whispers, suddenly feeling very weak in the knees.

"Of course!" Father Haymitch says. "You love him, and it's plain as day he loves you. No sense in prolonging the inevitable, whacha say? Especially now that you've got a bun in the oven."

A horrible retching sound comes out of Katniss's mouth.


	73. CLOSE YOUR EYES, BREATHE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHORT! (Sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I let this one drop for a little bit while I worked on AFTER THE VICTORY.
> 
> But I'm definitely still going to post here, in dribs and drabs.

"Katniss," Peeta says, going up to her and putting his arms around her. "You're going to be okay. Breathe. Just breathe."

Katniss closes her eyes and does as Peeta says.

_Amazing! I feel so much better now._

"Who told Father Haymitch about -- that I'm -- "

"No one," Father Haymitch says. "I could tell just by looking at you. Don't even try and pretend it's water retention."

Katniss shuts her mouth tight.

_As a matter of fact, I was just about to say that very thing. Thank you. You're welcome._

Peeta rubs his right hand up and down her back. It warms her considerably.

His eyes are so full of love and concern. She manages a weak smile.

"I'm fine," she says. "Can I change into that dress?"

"Yes, of course!" her mother says. "Want me to help you?"

"I'm fine," Katniss says. And then, in the next moment, she changes her mind. "Yes, I'd like you to help me. You and Prim."

Her mother nods. Prim nods. The three of them enter the bedroom. Mrs. Everdeen turns and quietly shuts the door then goes up to her older daughter and embraces her.

"I never imagined it turning out this way," Katniss says to her mom.

"I know, dear," her mother says. "Did you want to wait? I'm sorry if everyone seemed to be rushing you."

"No," Katniss says. "Let's do this. I want to do this. And it means so much to me that you and Prim are here."

Prim comes up beside Katniss and lays her head on her sister's shoulder. The three women stay like that for a few moments. Then, Katniss straightens. "I want to write down a few things. Things I want to say to Peeta," Katniss says.

"Of course, dear!" her mother says. "Prim, get your sister a pen."

"Or is that too cheesy?" Katniss asks, suddenly uncertain.

"Katniss," Prim sighs. "Go for it. Nothing's too cheesy for a wedding. Here's a pen. And here's some paper. Sorry, I scribbled something on one side -- the names of the songs. I was trying to decide on the order. Just use the other side."

* * *

When Katniss emerges from the bedroom, half an hour later, Peeta and Father Haymitch are chatting on the couch (about football, she thinks).

Peeta has his back to her. He seems so relaxed. As if this isn't the most important day of his life. Of _their_ lives.

Her mother comes up beside her and squeezes her hand. Prim comes up to Katniss's other side and takes the other hand.

Father Haymitch looks up, and that makes Peeta look up, too. When he sees Katniss, his mouth opens. Closes. Opens again. He starts to stand. Now it's Peeta who looks faint.

"Do I -- look terrible?" Katniss asks, unreasonably shy.

"No," Peeta breathes. "You're simply -- perfect."

Katniss blushes. "Prim made me use eyeshadow," she says. "Maybelline, I think. The purple palette."

 _Seriously? As if anyone cares about eyeshadow. Maybelline purple eyeshadow. I've never used_ _eyeshadow before. Especially not purple. No, it's not purple. What did Prim call it? Eggplant._ _Eggplant looks great on Prim, on me not so much._

Peeta stands before her. "Katniss, you are the most beautiful bride on this earth," he says. His voice trembles slightly.

Her mother gives her hand one last squeeze, and lets go. Prim does the same on Katniss's other side.

"But you don't have a ring," Katniss says.

"I do," Peeta says. "I was about to tell you. I got one. Weeks ago."


	74. DEAREST KATNISS/ DEAREST PEETA

Dearest Katniss,

The first time I saw you, I made up a name for you: I called you The Sorrow Princess (Katniss says, What? Peeta laughs. Katniss punches him lightly on the shoulder. Haymitch grumbles, _Get_ _on with it!_ Peeta says, _Wait, I'm just getting to the good parts)_

I know. Cheesy, much? It was on Grant. It was late afternoon, you were surrounded by people returning from work. But something about you caught my attention. You had something on your mind, I could see that. And yet, you didn't strike me as the kind of girl who needed rescuing, or the type of girl who needed a boy to fight her battles.

Your grey eyes were like thunderstorms, lightning and mist. If I had a paintbrush right then, I would have painted them.

You didn't see me at first. Why would you? I was a bum living on the street. I'd made it a habit to watch life happen to others. I never stayed on one street longer than a week, never stayed in one neighborhood longer than a month.

And then, one day, I saw you walking home with flowers. You were humming to yourself. The colors of the flowers lent a glow to your cheeks. You walked so close; it almost seemed as if you were heading straight for me.

Every night after that, for weeks, I'd dream and dream about you. If you were a city, you'd be Venice -- dark and moody and splendid -- and I'd be the sea, rushing to embrace you.

The truth is: I don't consider myself a brave man; but that day, the day I saw you with flowers -- that was the day I found grace.

I spoke to you. I said, "Are those for me?" And you said: "They're for ME. I'm practicing self love."

That was the day I knew I was going to stick around, watching for you, memorizing the rhythm of your days.

* * *

Dearest Peeta,

The truth is: I'm not the "I love you" saying kinda girl. The truth is, before I met you, I would say those words most often to my mom or my little sister. But now I want to say them every day.

The truth is: We haven't known each other very long. It was September 6. I know because I drew a circle around it on my calendar.

The truth is, there were times when I told myself, This isn't going to work. The truth is: I didn't know anything about you. Except that you were homeless. And that you had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen.

The truth is: I could tell you were proud. When I first asked you to move in with me --

(Mrs. Everdeen gasps but Prim says Mom and she doesn't say anything more)

  
It was after you got into a fight with Grasshopper because he had said something rude to me. Your face was a mess. But, after I cleaned you up, you still insisted on leaving and going back to the street.

The truth is: I don't really trust my reactions to other people. Especially not after the experiences I've had. All I knew is: when I got back to my empty apartment, I felt this -- this big hole. And I knew I couldn't let you go.

The truth is: Everyday I looked for you.

The truth is: Maybe I was already a little in love with you, even though we'd just met.

The truth is: The things I felt about you were making me scared and breathless and I knew my heart was in real trouble.

The truth is: It seems so much like fate, the way we met. I used to think it was crazy. But now I think it was awesome.

The truth is: I trained myself not to expect too much from life. Because it can sucker punch you. Like it did with my dad.

The truth is: _**Wuthering Heights**_ used to be my favorite book, and I looked for Heathcliff everywhere.

But now I know: Heathcliff could never make me happy.

The truth is: What I need is a dandelion in the spring. I need someone to give me hope. I need someone to tell me that in spite of our losses, life can be good again. And that person is you, Peeta -- (There's suddenly loud sniffling from somewhere to the side but Katniss doesn't -- can't -- turn her head to look. She plows on.)

The truth is: You are my hope and my everything, P--

"God! I love you, Katniss!" Peeta says, coming up suddenly and wrapping her in his arms.

"But Peeta, you're interrupting my list -- " Katniss says.

"Ahem!" Father Haymitch says. "Let's cut to the chase. Do you, Peeta, take Katniss to be your wife?"

Peeta says, "I do."

Father Haymitch says, "Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health?"

Peeta says, "I do."

Father Haymitch says, "And do you promise to honor her all the days of your life?"

Peeta says, "I do."

Father Haymitch turns to Katniss and stops. He snaps his fingers. "The bride needs a tissue! Quick!"

Someone -- Katniss thinks it's her mother -- pushes a wad of kleenex into her hand.

Then Father Haymitch says, "Do you, Katniss, take Peeta to be your husband?"

"I do."

"Do you," Father Haymitch says, "promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad -- "

"I do to everything," Katniss sobs.

"It doesn't work that way, sweetheart. Don't interrupt the officiating, if you would be so kind."

* * *

After, Katniss sits on the couch, her head on Peeta's shoulder. Prim sits cross-legged on the floor between them, Katniss's hand on her right shoulder and Peeta's hand on her left. Their mother watches them from the dining room, her eyes still red and swollen from crying during the ceremony. Father Haymitch pats her hand.

"There, there. Peeta's a good man. He'll take good care of your daughter."

"I know," Mrs. Everdeen says. "Still doesn't mean I should stop crying."

"Well, weddings are an emotional occasion," Father Haymitch says. "There's always crying. People just can't seem to help it."

They're silent a few moments. Then, Father Haymitch clears his throat. "You wouldn't happen to have anything to drink? The throat, you know. Gets awfully parched after performing a ceremony."

* * *

  
"I hope you're happy," Prim says, leaning her head back slightly so she can look up at her sister.

"Of course I am, Little Duck," Katniss says.

"Ugh. Stop calling me that," Prim says. Katniss scowls.

"The music you chose was great," Peeta says, leaning forward and patting Prim on the shoulder.

"And I knew you were going to say that, too. The two of you are like -- so predictable," Prim says, rolling her eyes.

Peeta throws his head back and laughs.


	75. RINGS

"Hey, let me see that," Prim says, reaching for Katniss's hand.

The pearl shines opalescent against the setting of warm gold. Prim stares at it, an expression of wonder on her face.

"Did you know about it?" Katniss asks softly.

Prim shakes her head. "Peeta doesn't tell me everything," she murmurs.

"No? That's hard to believe," Katniss says, smiling.

Peeta shifts closer to Katniss. She keeps her eyes trained on Prim. "You knew about the locket, though." Katniss's other hand reaches for the locket now. It rests against the hollow of her throat. She rubs it gently. Almost, the way one rubs a good luck talisman.

"I told him about that, that's different," Prim says. "It's beautiful," Prim says, and gives Katniss back her hand. "Peeta really has an eye."

"It's just a simple setting -- " Peeta starts.

"It's perfect," Katniss jumps in to say. "I'm not usually a jewelry-wearing kind of woman. But I love it. Thank you, Peeta."

Katniss bites her lip. "I didn't have a ring for you."

"It's okay," Peeta says.

"No. I want you to wear one. So everyone will know you're mine."

She leans over and presses a kiss to Peeta's mouth. Peeta waggles his finger. Katniss made a makeshift ring out of some aluminum foil and red paperclips. It looks ridiculous, but that will do for now.

Prim watches them a moment, then gets up. "So, what now?" she says.

"We're taking Father Haymitch out to dinner," Mrs. Everdeen announces.

Father Haymitch demurs. "Oh, no, no. That won't be necessary," he says. "I was happy to do it for the boy. And Katniss, remember to treat him right. Scowl less, smile more." He chortles at the look on Katniss's face. "Take it easy, sweetheart. That boy you've got is a one-woman man if I've ever seen one. You lucked out. And Peeta, I know you've been through some hard times. But looks like you're on track to better things. Congratulations, boy."

Peeta smiles shyly. "Thank you, Father."

"So," Father Haymitch says heartily. "Looks like I'll be seeing you back in church in a couple of months?"

Both Katniss and Peeta look at him in confusion.

"I mean," Father Haymitch says, nodding at Katniss. "For the little one. You ARE thinking of having it baptized, aren't you?"

"Oh my God," Katniss bursts out, clapping a hand over her mouth.

"What?" Peeta says, alarmed.

"I just remembered. Annie and Finnick. We didn't invite them. They'll kill us."

Prim, Father Haymitch, and Mrs. Everdeen roll their eyes.

Katniss rises from the couch. "I've got to call Annie. Right now." She rushes to the bedroom to retrieve her cell.

Haymitch and Peeta exchange a look. Haymitch says, "Well, looks like my job's done here. Got to head back. Wouldn't want parishioners complaining to the diocese that I've been playing hooky." He chuckles at his own joke. Mrs. Everdeen looks a bit disturbed. Prim looks confused. Peetajumps up and says, "I'll walk you back, Father."

Haymitch raises a hand. "Now, boy, do I look that old? I don't need you walking me anywhere.Won't take me but five minutes to round the corner."

Peeta grasps his hand. "I can't thank you enough, Father," he says.

Father Haymitch grunts. Then, unexpectedly, he reaches up a hand and grabs Peeta by the back of the neck, shaking him a little, the way a father might with a young son. "You will be all right, boy. God knows I've prayed for you hard enough." Father Haymitch leans back. "I almost forgot! I brought you a wedding present." He reaches into the pocket of his jacket, and pulls out a small paperback. "John O'Donohue. Conamara Blues. Beautiful poetry. It was mine as a boy. I think you'll like it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Father Haymitch reads poetry! Who knew?


	76. PART III of ARE THOSE FOR ME? MOTHER DEAREST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of PART III of Are Those For Me?
> 
> It will involve much Mellark family drama.

"Rye!" his mother screams from the bakery kitchen. "Rye! I need you to bring out the cake! The Greenes will be here any minute!"

She waits.

Mrs. Mellark is in her 60s. Life hasn't exactly been good to her, especially in the last couple of years. Her husband died, and then her youngest took off, just like that. Joined the Army, got back with serious PTSD, took off again -- but not before lobbing vicious accusations at her, about the kind of mother she was to him --

"Mom," Rye says.

"Finally! I thought for a moment you'd gone deaf. I've been calling you for the last five minutes."

"Mom," Rye says. "There is someone out there you need to see."

"Oh for goodness' sake! Can't you send them away and tell them to come back later? Tell them we have our hands full. We have to get this cake out front before the Greenes get here."

She's disgruntled at the cake, frankly. Peeta could have done it so much better. She bites off the thought.

"Mom," Rye says again. "It's Peeta."

"What -- what are you talking about?" Mrs. Mellark says. For just a moment, her confidence wavers. "Isn't he -- isn't he in San Francisco?"

"He's here with someone," Rye says.

"With someone? With someone? What does that mean?" When Rye doesn't answer, she pushes past him impatiently.

Then stops dead. There, in the middle of the bakery, is her son. The eyes of the woman standing next to him are like mercury -- grey, molten.

"Peeta," Mrs. Mellark grits out. Even the saying of his name takes something out of her. It's always been that way between the two of them. "What are you doing here? You have some nerve. Some nerve. Coming back here, after all this time. Did you think we'd forgive you? Welcome you with open arms?"

Peeta's voice is calm. "Hello, mother. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

Mrs. Mellark begins to tremble. She closes her eyes. _Didn't she know? Didn't she always know it_ _would be like this?_

When she looks at him again, her voice is hard. "Get the hell out. I forgive nothing. Get the hell out before I call the police. How dare you. And, as for this, this -- " Mrs. Mellark sneers, gesturing at Katniss.

"My wife," Peeta says.

"Your -- _what_?"

"You heard me. Katniss is _my wife_."

"Your wife?" Mrs. Mellark bursts into loud laughter. "Your wife? I bet you 10 to 1 she's gotten herself knocked up. Oh, Peeta. Once a fool, always a fool."

Katniss gives a small gasp and her right hand goes up instinctively towards her belly.

Mrs. Mellark looks at her and narrows her eyes, following the movement of Katniss's hand. With her other hand, Katniss tugs urgently at Peeta's sleeve and whispers something to him. On that hand, her left, Mrs. Mellark spies a pearl ring. Simple, Mrs. Mellark wouldn't go so far as to call it classic. It's on her fourth finger. Mrs. Mellark sucks in a breath.

Peeta puts his hand over Katniss's and looks deeply into her eyes. Then he gives a slight shake of his head, so slight that no one would catch it. Unless, that is, you were watching intently. Like Mrs. Mellark is.

"I knew it," Mrs. Mellark cackles. "What. A. Stupid. Boy."

She turns her attention to Katniss. "How many months along are you?"

"Peeta, let's go," Katniss says, a little shakily.

"No, Katniss," Peeta says. He takes a deep breath. "I can't. Not yet."

Katniss turns, as if preparing to walk out on her own.

Peeta turns back to his mother. "If you can't talk to us respectfully, mother, our next meeting's going to be in Mr. Cray's office." Then he nods at his brother. "Nice seeing you again, Rye." He reaches over and pushes a small business card across the display case. "Here's my number. In case you want to keep in touch."

He walks out, carefully holding Katniss by the elbow.

Mrs. Mellark stares at them speechless for a few moments. Then she turns to her other son and notices he's picked up the card Peeta left. He's staring intently down at it, as if it contains a puzzle. A puzzle that needs to be solved.

"Give me that," Mrs. Mellark growls.

Rye hands it over, if somewhat reluctantly.

Mrs. Mellark frowns at the number. "What was the name of that dark-haired man, remember he came a few months ago? Asked a lot of questions about Peeta? What was his name again?"

Rye shakes his head.

"Dale? Something like that?" Mrs. Mellark presses.

* * *

"Prim! What are you doing? Come here, please!" Mrs. Everdeen says.

She and her daughter are at a Starbucks directly across the street from the bakery. Through the plate glass window, they see Mrs. Mellark come out from the back. Mrs. Everdeen swallows. She's never actually met the woman, but from what Katniss has told her, Mrs. Mellark is evil.

"What?" Prim says. "I just want to know what they're doing."

"What they're doing is talking. We promised not to pry."

"It's not prying. That's my older sister over there. And if Mrs. Mellark says something bad to her, I'll -- I'll -- "

"That's what Finnick is for, Prim. So that we don't need to be involved in this."

Prim turns, her blue eyes (So much like Peeta's, her mother thinks) ablaze. "She's my sister and I'm not going to let anyone say evil, nasty things to her. Besides -- it'll be bad for the baby." Prim turns her attention back to the window. The next thing Mrs. Everdeen hears is a soft, "Oh, no." And then Prim is rushing out the door of the Starbucks.  
  



End file.
